Why did you quit porn for yourself?

I'm quitting for my husband. He deserves to have someone who is devoted to him and only him and not some video online that only gives me a moment of satisfaction. I'm also doing it for my future children because I want them to know that porn is a serious addiction that can ruin lives.

 

In short for a variety of reasons.

One of them is that P use contributes to a lack of appreciation/satisfaction with some of the amazing parts of my life. When I watch P suddenly things are not "enough". My wife and I aren't adventurous enough, we aren't "active" enough, we don't do enough "acts". When not influenced by P I can appreciate how amazingly compatible my wife and I are and how satisfying our intimate relationship is.

I also have a strong tendency towards fantasizing and daydreaming. Using P lends itself strongly to this tendency. Through the voyeuristic nature of P at times I have felt like I was "experiencing" a huge variety of sexual experiences. That's all bullshit. I was not experiencing anything. I refuse to live in a fantasy world anymore. I only want to have real experiences with real people (my wife).

 

I had never thought P was a good thing for me, but I did it anyway. It was the easy way out of things....
I had a rock bottom moment when my relationship ended in May, I was already attempting to quit more seriously than before and had confessed my struggle with her, I trusted her and thought that by beating PMO together it would mean I would be more likely to have success and prove that we could work out and work through anything together...

Anyways once I really read into the damage porn can do to one mentally, I had found the answer to almost all of my problems. I had focus problems with my studies and I was basically always looking for an easy way out, an escape, and it was really negatively impacting my grades.

I want to be successful, I want to be the best I can be. I am/was tired of avoiding problems, or waiting and hoping that in time they would pass. I want to put my energy into my studies. I want to be creative again. I want to put my energy into my opportunity to run track at my college. I want to be prepared for life after college. I want to be free of PM for my future partner because that is what she deserves from me. And being free from this has only increased my already huge appreciation for life and the little things.

 

that is exactly how I felt and why I quit my addictions, congrats for your 106 days PMO free and keep going

 

I lied to my wife as well on multiple occasions saying I was going to quit. I don't think I was lying I wanted to quite but the urges and stress would pull me back to it. I think now I finally believe that Porn won't really help the stress in my life go away and the temporary relief porn provides isn't worth it. Being PM free has provided a lot of personal benefits that I don't want to loose. I think he has to want to quit porn for himself and not for someone else.

 

Supporting (for example watching) porn supports sex slavery. I've seen some studies about it, and frankly, this is completly terrifying. So that's my main reason, but there also, I don't wanna be controled by anything.

Maybe except drinking my coffee..

 

I'm quitting because I have come to acknowledge P&M to be actions/behaviors which are contrary to the dignity I hold as a human being and the purpose for why I exist. Through my own journey I have made the following observations:

• I have an intellect and will. I am designed to know and to love.
• Love by it's very nature is sacrificial and selfless. It seeks no reward other than the benefit of the one who is loved.
• Self-gratification is the absence of love.
• Self-control/self-mastery is the only way I show an authentic love for myself and those around me.

Ensuring that I live according to the above principles ensures that I spend what little time I have on this planet truly loving myself and those around me, and it is a mission worthy of my time and energy even if I never experience any personal gain from it.

 

I'm doing my reboot for my wife, and not for me. the comfort I can give you is that I'm a year and a half p.m. free, and I don't want to go back. I can't even imagine being that person again. even if my wife passed I would never turn back to P because even though I gave it up for her, I love the person I am today.

 

exactly how i feel. i too love so much how quitting my addictions made me a better and happier person. didn't expect i was going to feel this free ever

 

Mostly because it conflicted with my values. Helping with my ED was secondary. Watching porn really started to bother me. I felt I was contributing to the exploitation of women. The no MO is strictly due to the ED.

 

When I realised I couldn't maintain an erection with an absolutely gorgeous escort who was literally asking me to fuck her, I knew I had a problem. So here I am.

 

you had a problem with paying someone to fuck you in the first place. that is sad

 

What? You don't know me. We're all here for one reason so sod off with the judgmental bullshit. Thanks.

 

I was becoming consumed by fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, resentment and anger. PMO was literally draining my ability to strive and thrive in the real world.

After years of thinking "it might have some negative consequences, but probably not because everyone does it and sex is healthy" I had a child. This made me want to treat my problems so I went on an SSRI and Adderall. After a year of being on these and digging deeper into Eastern Philosophy, primarily mindfulness meditation, I came across Gary Wilson's TED Talk "The Great Porn Experiment" and learned about NOFAP.

It gave me a place where others also struggled with something I always was ashamed of and dominated by.

 

While it may be insensitive to call you out on the use of prostitutes, it is something that might be saddening to feel conpelled to viait prostitutes. Whatever the reason for paying someone for sex or sexual activity of some kind might be, it is likely to be saddening. Whether the reason is that the paying individual feels unable to connect sufficiently with another human and embark on a sexual relationship, or if they have a preference for emotion-free sex with strangers in which they specify what they want to happen and how, either reason would be saddening. Sex divorced from true intimacy is inferior and it is a legitimate criticism that visiting prostitutes is sad. Sad for the user, sad for the prostitute and sad for anyone who cares about the wellbeing of either of the two parties involved. I feel bad that you have been upset by anothers user's comment, but it can be helpful to be called out on our flaws in order to grow and develop as people.

All the best for your nofap journey.

 

Conflicted with my morals, values, and attitudes towards women.

 

Inferior? As compared to what? And according to whom?

 

I quit porn for myself. I know, I'm selfish

I never really got too lost in P and it's been very easy not going back to it. Avoiding MO was harder but it is becoming a lot easier. I used to PMO a couple of times a week at most, but it did affect me with ED/DE issues and at 60 I'm not young enough to want to do anything that will desensitize me more. I felt it was affecting my relationship with my wife in other ways too though there were also other issues involved. It is so easy to get into a rut over time, it's a slow, insidious process.

I was really missing the intimacy we had earlier in our marriage which finally made me decide to do something about it. It's not just no PMO from my end, we are also working on other aspects of our relationship to help us reconnect again like communicating better and more often and not taking each other for granted. Lots of cuddles and massages really help too. So far it's working very well for us, now we just have to be careful to keep the momentum going.

So ya, sometimes being selfish isn't such a bad thing

 

I quit because it is harmful and i read about the benefits of quitting

 

My husband isn't on this forum b/c he doesn't like the digital format. He is 20+ months clean of porn and prostitutes. Yes--- as some other guys have mentioned on this thread, porn can lead down a slippery slope to more risky behaviors. It doesn't always, but it CAN lead there.

Anyhow - to the question - my hub says he feels so much better, physically and emotionally. I can tell. He looks healthy. He seems "present" more when I look at him. It's like "he" is there behind his eyes when i look in his eyes.

He can connect with me and that's fulfilling for both of us. He became extremely depressed and HE SAYS his use of porn and masturbation to relieve anxiety was not healthy. He almost ended his life, and that was his "bottom". A very, very dark road. Addicts often need some type of "bottom" to quit what they are "using" --- and everyone has a different bottom.

Are things perfect? No. Is there a long path to healing ahead of us? Yes.

Wishing everyone one step at a time. Count the small successes.