When will I start acting like I'm God's princess?

Discussion in 'Women in Reboot' started by Gods_princess, Oct 7, 2018.

  1. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    Firstly, congrats on seven days! Great work. :)

    I also had an issue with loneliness some time ago. I can't really remember what I did or if I did anything, but one thing I'd recommend is to seek out opportunities to be involved in something. Service projects or a club is a good idea.

    Another thing you could do is to know what kind of group you want to belong to. You won't feel too lonely when you realize all those students really aren't your kind of crowd.

    I'd also recommend praying or meditation to help you settle the disturbances you feel.

    'Course, I'm still trying to figure things out myself. Feel free to take my advice with a grain of salt. :p
     
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  2. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    DAY 10
    Daily time with God :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Working on my university stuff :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Going to they gym :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Cooking :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Eating healthy :emoji_white_check_mark:

    Urges :emoji_negative_squared_cross_mark:

    Hey guys,
    it's been 10 days without PMO already. I can't believe it. I have not been able to make it to day ten for a long time.
    Yesterday in the evening I had mood wings and I had the strong urge for attention so I went to this telephone chat again. I had a nice conversation there (but I still know it's not THE way). I went to sleep late but this morning I started new.
    I try to add healthy habits to my daily routine which are
    • eating oat meal with fruits for breakfast (during work week)
    • spending less time on my smartphone
    • doing sports
    To be honest I don't have much me-time at the moment because university started on monday so I'm a bit more busy than on summer break. Which is positive because I don't have much time to think negative about things or about myself.
    Today was very good. I was feeling great and active. I had conversations in university and I even asked a girl which is a few semesters ahead of me for her number so I can ask her questions about courses, professors and so on.

    I try to help one person in my family to become more confident. This is a person who let himself go a long time ago. He suffers from a rare illness which causes maniac behaviour. He gained a lot of weight because of meds and his confidence suffered a lot. I told him to name 5 things he's good at and he couldn't name one!!! So I had to tell him his pros. Now we have an appointment every evening where he has to tell me one thing he did good during the day. Seeing him as the precious and loved person he is helps me to see myself in a more positive light, too. Jesus loves us so much and that is where our worth is.
     
  3. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your recommendations. I might work in a language project with refugee children in the future but I'm not sure when exactly. Also I really have to get a hold on myself and to go to bible studies every Thursday so I can get to know the people there better (and of course not to forget the soul medicine aspect).

    I think I have to keep in mind what you said about the students not really being my kind of crowd because it's kinda true. I'm a bit older than most and I'm not interested in partying and Co.
     
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  4. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    That's so sweet of you to be looking after a family member like that. I'll bet he is very happy to know you love him so much.

    Your goals are also pretty good. I've never had oatmeal with fruit before, but I'll bet It's good!

    Hey, no worries. It gets a little easier when you check off the group you don't want to be with. I also don't have parties and the like as a high priority when there's work to be done, so I get where you stand.

    Good luck, you'll find really good friends. It sounds like the girl you got her number from will be a great person to be with.

    All the best. :)
     
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  5. Freedom_lover

    Freedom_lover Fapstronaut

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    Me gusta tu diario
    Me siento identificado contigo en el aspecto religioso. Creo que sentir que tenemos la ayuda de un ser más poderoso que nosotros es un buen sistema de apoyo.
    Good Luck! :)
     
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  6. R.o.B

    R.o.B Fapstronaut

    It's so beautiful to see you doing a 10. You do not have to stop friend. Nothing can stop you. Sending you all the bulky positive vibes... keep yourself attentive and keep yourself vigilant. Wish you all the very best ! Take care!
     
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  7. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    DAY 16
    Daily time with God :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Working on my university stuff :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Inline skating :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Getting a lot organization stuff done :emoji_white_check_mark:

    Urges :emoji_negative_squared_cross_mark:

    Can you imagine I passed 2 weeks and 2 days without PMO? God made this miracle possible. I nearly have no urges. Of course the bad thoughts try to sneek into my mind in other ways but as soon as I realize I'm acting badly I ask Jesus for forgiveness.

    Sometimes I got the impression men are more attracted to me now because I seem to glow from time to time. But in other moments my insecurity sneeks back in and I feel like a complete loser. During that period I feel like I can't be great in the job I study for (4 years to go). I feel like my fear of men will block me. But I don't want to stay in that thought circle so I pray and God renews my mind and gives me joy again. I might be alone most of the time but I'm never lonely because Jesus is with me. Today I heard about a book which essence is that being grateful for everything God has given us will bring us ultimative joy. This is what I need to practice. Being thankful for everything.

    GOD HAS
    ... given me new life
    ... pulled me out of deep depression
    ... blessed me with a believing mother, sister and brother
    ... given me the privilege to be able to study even though I have a more modest background plus here in Germany we don't have to pay tuition fees
    ... showed me that I'm able to do things I NEVER thought I could through him (like passing my a level exams, moving out, being independent)

    Also, God gives me the strength to do my work everyday. When I'm focused on him everything else is easier. :emoji_muscle:
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2018
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  8. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, that's a nice thing to say. Actually, I realized that our relationship is more warm since we're doing that thing.

    Also thanks for encouraging me to fight the fight. I wish you the best for your PMO free journey, too.
     
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  9. Vilnuski

    Vilnuski New Fapstronaut

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    Hi, I didn't have an account here, but I read through your journal from the start until today. Your story helped me to depend completely on Jesus for everyday struggles and my short-comings, versus trying to go through things myself. Please know that I'm so thankful that you've been writing things down this whole time, and that God has used your writing to aid me. Prayed for you, may God bless you and your continued journey!
     
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  10. Unflinching

    Unflinching Fapstronaut

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    1. Just remind and ground this thing in your mind that our creature loves us more than anyone else. "He loves us more than 70 mothers." Imagine it.
    2. Sharing with your sister your journey is a good step. Imagine telling your sister about your success after 30 60 100 200......days.
    3. Above all give yourself a routine, a daily routine. Otherwise depression will kick in and it sucks and eat you up. The main cause of doing pmo is depression.
     
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  11. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    DAY 19
    Daily time with God :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Working on my university stuff :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Spending time with my family :emoji_white_check_mark:

    Urges :emoji_negative_squared_cross_mark:

    Praise the Lord! 19 days without PMO. Staying in God's word really helped me and helps me. In addition, having a lot to do for university prevents me from thinking too much. I have a new planning system. I printed out week plans and marked all my courses on there for one week. It's handy because I have an overview of the week and can see whenever I have time to do my tasks. I also write down all To Do's for the week. Then I split the To Do's on the different days. Sometimes I can't manage to do the planned To Do's for one day but that's just human. God gives us the time we need to finish our tasks. We just have to put him first and be diligent. In the past I used to get frustrated when something did not work out as I planned but now I'm more calm.

    This Thursday I went to Bible studies. At first I was so tired and did not really want to go but looking at it afterwards it has been such a blessing to be there. I talked to Christians that really want to serve God. They are very welcoming towards me. Most of them are already married (so there's no pressure if you know what I mean). I talked to a girl who studied the same thing as I do at the moment. It's incredible how similar our fears and worries regarding our future jobs are. We're both very reserved in groups and the job we'll do is very social. But talking to that girl inspires me to keep going because just because we're introverted doesn't mean we can't get the job done. If God wants us to be ... we can do it.

    I'm not gonna lie.. I went to this telephone chat again. Sometimes I feel lonely in the evening so talking to strangers can be really interesting. I did not talk about anything sexual. Still, I know that having casual conversations with strangers is not the same as having a good friend. I really have to pray about that thing. But I want to stay calm and patient.

    PS: Pls don't be mad if I take my time to reply to your comments or private messages. It's nothing personal. I just have a lot going on.:emoji_blush:
     
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  12. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    I'm so glad God used my story to help you. God is mighty in the weak. It's good to be weak because the weak need God. WE need God. He's the one helping us in the fight against sin so how can we try it in our own? Let's see it from that perspective. I wish you all the best on your journey.
     
  13. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    Wise words, brother. Thank you. In the last days i really felt God's love.
    11 days to go and than I can tell my sis I made it to day 30.
    Having a daily routine really helps me. But bible studies in the morning is the most important time.
     
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  14. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I really like your journal, it's so sweet and you seem to be a very nice person! Especially since you are so eager to serve God and are so commited to your studies. I don't think I'm nearly the devout you are.

    And please, don't worry about having to reply all the time. As I say, "real life comes first"!
     
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  15. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the compliment but honestly, glory to God. I realized that doing daily bible studies really helps me to stay in God which means I'm less likely to do PMO. I recommend to pray to God to become thirsty after his word. I did that, too.
     
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  16. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    DAY 23
    Daily time with God :emoji_slight_frown: not yet
    Working on my university stuff :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Going to the gym :emoji_white_check_mark:

    Urges :emoji_negative_squared_cross_mark:

    Thanks to God I didn't relapse. I had strong urges yesterday and I also let myself go. I did go to that telephone chat again and I watched a romantic movie. But thankfully I messaged one person that knows about my PMO issue and she / he helped me a bit through that state.

    Oh, and another thing. I catch myself staring at attractive guys all the time. I really have to keep my thoughts captive and to ask God for forgiveness.

    Today I had so much to prepare in the morning that I did not read my bible. I really have to be careful now. My plan is to read my bible after this post. I can't forget about my Jesus. Sometimes I got the feeling like university and all the busyness keeps me away from Jesus. The people there do not believe in the almighty God and they are just living like they want.

    Lately I realized that I'm really vain. I want to look special. My study field has to do with Arts and since I'm going to university I started to dress differently. No, I don't dress immodest but maybe a bit alternative. I can't explain to you how I dress but it's a mixture of elegant and sporty with a bit of hipster. But not like the mainstream hipsters with their adidas and nike clothes. What can I do about that wanting to express myself through clothes issue? I don't know if God likes that. How can the world see that I belong to God if I dress like that? I'm a bit confused about that at the moment.

    I was so confident in an university course today. It's a course with just 9 students so I was brave enough to engage in the conversations. I'm so thankful. But a bit worried about me. What if I want other people to like me so much? I should look at what GOD thinks about me.

    I'd appreciate your honest thoughts about some of the issues I adressed.
     
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  17. Solomon435

    Solomon435 Fapstronaut

    I think it's important to acknowledge the feelings you've had with said attractive guys. One of the benefits of NoFap is your sexuality is healed in positive ways, and you begin to have a healthy sex drive again. Just as long as you do not let them consume you. They are healthy until they invoke feelings of lust and they provide a challenge to your streak and spiritual healing.

    I understand that you feel like you're the only one who is keeping up with commandments and covenants. It's a little saddening, but as long as you remember who you are and what you follow then you will not be lost among the noise.

    As for the clothing choices, it really just depends on how you feel about it. If you're confused you could pray or ask your ecclesiastical leader. They could help.

    Of course, I'm not sure what your situation is, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt.
     
  18. Freedom_lover

    Freedom_lover Fapstronaut

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    There's a biblical principle that mentions how God wants us to dress. The text says that our dress has to be modest and of good judgment.
    I believe that as long as that principle isn't disobeyed, God will not disapprove of our clothing.
    That's my humble opinion.

    Sometimes, wanting to be accepted by other people can lead us to put aside our beliefs. Group pressure makes us forget what we are and we end up molding ourselves for those around us. That's why it's good to seek the friendship of people who accept our way of thinking and don't try to change us.
     
  19. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    DAY 24
    Daily time with God :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Working on my university stuff :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Going to Bible studies :emoji_white_check_mark:
    Being brave :emoji_white_check_mark:

    Urges :emoji_negative_squared_cross_mark:
    Going to the telephone chat :emoji_telephone:

    Today was pretty awesome, praise the Lord.
    In the morning I went to this telephone chat again which is not great. Afterwards I had a course. One thing I realized is that I became more brave since I don't pmo anymore. I reached out to the person sitting next to me (just random smalltalk). Then it was time to eat so I went to the canteen. There I saw this girl that had been with me in the course but she had sit somewhere else. I was behind her in the queue so I talked to her about the course. When we received our food I waited for her and then I sat down with her. Her boyfriend was also there but it's been okay. She's been very nice and honest. She's two semesters ahead of me but she could still not manage to find a close group of friends in the university so we're both in the same position. Is it just a common thing in German universities or is this a problem everywhere? I really want to say thanks to God for giving me the courage to talk to people in real life.

    I also realized that I talk about my problems more openly. Not about the PMO issue but about my struggle with finding friends in my university town or even about my depression. Of course I don't talk to anyone about my personal issues but in a given situation I don't feel anxious talking about that.

    I've been to Bible studies today and what can I say except it's been a true blessing? I encourage you to go out even if you don't feel like it. Chanting songs, reading the bible together, talking about it, gathering prayer requests is so good for the soul. One girl from brought me back home and we had deep talks. I could tell her about my former depression and about how God helps me through all. She told me the job I study for seems fitting for me. To say goodbye I hugged her deep.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2018
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  20. Gods_princess

    Gods_princess Fapstronaut

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    I know that God is with me and he will help me to survive in a secular university. Maybe I can be a light for those who're still in the darkness. At least I hope I can.

    I'll pray that God will show me how to dress properly.
     
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