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When is something an addiction/problem and when is it a normal desire?

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Will It Work?, Jan 23, 2019.

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  1. Jan 23, 2019 #1
    Will It Work?

    Will It Work? Fapstronaut

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    Hey folks, got an interesting question.

    I'm in a relationship.

    I fantasize about other women, I love looking at photos and videos of naked women (and also porn, but it's mostly nudity and the different body shapes that excite me).

    I'm having commitment issues in my relationship and part of me would love to go back to being single, and start sleeping with lots of women again, enjoying the variety.

    I had a conservative upbringing, then discovered sex in my mid-twenties, slept with a lot of women over a couple of years, then met my now girlfriend. So I didn't really spend much time living the "single life" before I met my girlfriend.

    How do I know if this is an addiction/problem that i need to fight, in order to have a better relationship?
    OR
    Could this just be my gut telling me that I'm not yet ready for a relationship?
    OR
    We are hard wired to an extent to want a variety of sexual partners - could I just be hard wired for this and not cut out for a relationship?

    I'm struggling to know what the answer is - I would hate to throw away a good relationship, but I would also hate to look back in 20 years and regret missing out on experiences.

    Obviously, I don't expect anyone to provide me answers, only I can do that :) But has anybody got any experience / information / words of advice about this?
     
    Will It Work?, Jan 23, 2019
    Will It Work?, Jan 23, 2019
    #1
  2. Jan 24, 2019 #2
    icantbelieveit

    icantbelieveit Fapstronaut

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    It's natural. Binging on sugar and hamburgers is natural. Our bodies evolved to binge on sex and calories. The difference is...we evolved in a situation where we only saw a few dozen humans our ENTIRE life...in that context sex is definitely important for the survival of our species. Starvation was a COMMON thing..binging on food was again, important for our survival.

    We are called homo sapiens sapiens. We not only think, we are CONSCIOUS of the fact that we can think. We can see our own thoughts. Therefore we can control our urges. Don't be a mindless great ape and just indulge in your urges. It is NOT natural to have a constant 10/10 women at the click of a button. You are overloading and frying your damn brain. It is not healthy, and it is NOT natural. The internet is man made obviously, be aware of it, and don't be mindless.

    As for your relationship...go on nofap for at least a few weeks and then come back to your relationship..see how you feel at that time. If you still have doubts, then you are being a shitty boyfriend and should end the relationship for her sake too. But take time off from porn before you make such a decision..you need to see your situation clearly.
     
    icantbelieveit, Jan 24, 2019
    icantbelieveit, Jan 24, 2019
    #2
  3. Jan 26, 2019 #3
    The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    If it drives you away from people, away from connection, that's a problem and can be a strong indicator of an addiction.
    Sounds like a convenient excuse to justify your behaviour.
    What does your girlfriend think of you looking at other women, fantasizing about them?
     
    The Wrestler, Jan 26, 2019
    The Wrestler, Jan 26, 2019
    #3

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