What's your guys' opinion on this?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by superstorm250, Apr 2, 2017.

  1. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone, so this pro-nofap dating coach/PUA named Frank Kermit claims that he specializes in helping guys who have never had sex or a girlfriend because of PMO addiction and are now older and inexperienced as a result of their addiction. He wrote a whole book on this issue so I heard him out on what he had to say about guys in this situation and some of it sounded useful, so I wanted to share it here to see what you guys think. Now I'm 23 and turning 24 this summer and I've hooked up once but have still never been in a relationship, so I still am inexperienced.

    This is what he says about 24 year old virgins:

    At 24, this is when the terror starts for the Adult Male Virgin; this is when the pain starts. At this point, unless you're in the position to justify why you've waited so long, it's very hard to admit "well, I'm kind of a social dork" and if you're lucky enough to find a girl who doesn't mind the fact that you're a dork ....hey...great! But without some understandable story to back it up, it really doesn't look good for you and it would be at this point that I might say "look don't lie about it, but don't mention it either"

    What do you guys think? This is what else he wrote on this issue:

    https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Adult_Male_Virgin_Handbook.html?id=wu3XCgAAQBAJ
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2017
  2. MasturbatorTheDestroyer

    MasturbatorTheDestroyer New Fapstronaut

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  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    Indeed.
     
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  4. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah some parts of what he says is good and other parts are total BS. Like he says in one part of his book that if there was an emergency situation and everyone knew that you were a virgin guy, no one would trust you to call 911 and take control of the situation because you clearly haven't even taken control of your love life. And in another part he says that if you were to take on a new client at work and they were to find out that you're a virgin, they likely wouldn't trust doing business with you because you haven't even been able to manage your love life. Those parts are definitely BS and maybe he's saying those types of things just to get virgin guys worried so that they'll sign up for coaching with him, which costs $50 an hour. That's one reason why I wanted to share this here, because I've long been told not to trust PUA's and this guy could just be trying to exploit virgin guys to make a profit.
     
  5. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    He is right about 1 thing though > "look don't lie about it, but don't mention it either" . Females usually want a man that is experienced in love, so most times, telling a female your a virgin or you've never had a girlfriend is a turn off for them . Don't do it . So simply, Don't mention it ! If they ask, be mysterious about it & tell them you don't want to talk about it . :emoji_sunglasses:
     
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  6. SyrusDrake

    SyrusDrake Fapstronaut

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    Uh...this doesn't sound like he wants to help virgins but rather is trying to undermine their confidence even more and then help them. I had to call 911 (well, 112, to be precise) twice in my life and both times it was me who made the decision and instructed the emergency responders. And at my old work place, well, we didn't have clients in that sense, but everyone valued my opinion on business decisions. I can take control of many aspects of my life. Me being a virgin does have nothing at all to do with lack of assertion.
    Yes, virgins as old as me probably need help and have some underlying problem. But try to get that help from someone who is actually interested in helping you and not from someone who is trying to ruin your confidence just to prove you need them.
     
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  7. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    Please don't actually do this.
     
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  8. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I know that they do, I've heard from several other guys who have been rejected because they're inexperienced. But that is really bad advice to tell a guy to say that he doesn't want to talk about it and to be mysterious about it if a girl asks, that's just going to make her suspicious and then she'll start to suspect that you are inexperienced or something else along those lines.

    That's why I feel like I'm in a catch-22 because most of them don't want a guy who is inexperienced, but the only way to fix this problem is to get experience which you can't get because you don't already have experience. I really do feel like there's no way out of this situation, I've even thought about killing myself in the past because of this of this catch-22.
     
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  9. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I agree, at least he's telling guys to stay away from PMO but it really does seem like he's trying to get virgin guys to feel worse about themselves so that they'll pay him $50 an hour to help them. And he said in something else that I saw from him that he needs to coach a virgin guy for 3 months in order to really make a difference in their lives, but fails to mention that would cost hundreds of dollars at the rate he charges for coaching. I will admit that I probably need some help with it too, but maybe not from him. I think that he is right that it gets harder the older you get though.
     
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  10. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Oh don't worry I never would. Like I said in my reply to that guy, doing that would probably just make the girl suspicious and lead her to suspect that you are inexperienced or something along those lines. I do think he's right that most girls are turned off by a guy who's inexperienced though, that's why I feel like its an inescapable catch-22 at this point and has made me consider just killing myself before in the past. I hope I'm wrong, but most girls already have experience at this age and I feel like most of them don't want a guy who is less experienced than they are.
     
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  11. SupBruh

    SupBruh Fapstronaut

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    This is really one of the least significant issues you can have as a virgin.

    Generally, if a girl likes you she'll attribute positive things to you (such as having relationship experience). The girls I've been with would tell me i.e. "I bet you do this to a lot of girls", even when I was a virgin or had limited experience. I can't comment on female psychology but maybe they just like being in the fantasy that the guy is a major player and they are the 'prey', so I'd play along (even if by the end of the night it would be clear I had been lying).

    There's also a plethora of sources on the Internet which will help you in the sex department... I even watched a tutorial video on a porn site, but that's just me. If you're that worried, you could always visit an escort just to rid yourself of the anxiety.

    I'd focus more on finding a girl first, and worry about the whats and the ifs later.
     
  12. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    DON'T BELIEVE THAT BULLSHIT.

    It's an absolute bunch of crap.

    Your sex life has NOTHING to do with how well you can or can't do a job or manage a crises.
    He's feeding on your fear with those parts.
    Indeed he COULD be "trying to exploit virgin guys to make a profit."
    This kind of marketing makes me FURIOUS. I've seen it in women's dating and relationship things too and in things not even related to those topics.

    People selling things can focus on the pleasure you will receive, the pain you will avoid or both. But some people hype up the pain and create imaginary stories and pure LIES to make things sound even worse than they actually are JUST to get you to buy their products and or services. DON'T be a sucker!

    I'm not an employer. But if I WAS. I wouldn't give a DAMN about someone's sex life. I would care about how they did their effing job. Look, my dad was raised up in a church that was pretty homophobic. He hired a woman who it turned out was gay. He promoted her a lot BECAUSE she was great at her job. He didn't give a DAMN that she was gay, it was no barrier to her doing a good job - (Not that it would be, of course, but this is to illustrate a point.) What mattered was how well she did her job. This is what employers are REALLY like (as a rule.) If someone didn't want you to be their employee cos you are a virgin who da FUQ wants to work for a boss like THAT ANYWAY. My boss I once had thought I SHOULD be having kids. I was like NAH. Didn't stop her promoting me, even though she didn't agree with my lifestyle choices. That's my point about my dad too. BESIDES, perhaps SOME virgins throw themselves into their work and put their sexual energy into their job and career and do effing marvellous at it.

    DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE.

    Don't be a sucker for people who only want your money and don't really care about you.

    And, ask YOURSELF, if you were in a crises - life or death - and the only person who could save you was a virgin...are you REALLY gonna be saying "Nope, you're a virgin, piss off, I'd rather die" ??

    SERIOUSLY?

    Would you REALLY SAY that?

    Nope.

    BTW there are plenty of women who do not CARE if you are a virgin. And what about women who'd like to TEACH you ;-)
     
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  13. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Nope.

    An inexperienced guy wouldn't judge OUR sexual performance.

    An inexperienced guy would think sex with US was AMAZING.

    An inexperienced guy would really REALLY enjoy finally getting laid and would love sex with us because OMG FINALLY. He also wouldn't be comparing sex with US to sex with others.
    There are TONS of benefits, we don't all see this as a liability.

    There's also still girls out there who are virgins FFS.

    But, regardless if she is or isn't....

    Stop seeing this as a liability. Seriously.

    I understand why you do. But stop it.
    Your sexual enjoyment means more to us than you realise, OK?
    And (hopefully!) you WOULDN'T be going through the motions, you'd enjoy the sex. Yeah it wouldn't be perfect but hopefully you'd enjoy it and that PASSION would show and the woman would feel GOOD that you were so into having sex with her!
     
  14. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    You know what? You're drinking the cool aid.
    The poisoned cool aid. The toxic cool aid.
    The cool aid that says, women shouldn't have much sex.
    The cool aid that says, if a guy doesn't have sex by your age he's a loser.
    SPIT THAT COOL AID OUT.
    It's killing you.
    DON'T BELIEVE THEIR LIES.

    Society is fucking with you. It is LYING to you. It loves to tell us we are not good enough, WE are not enough. It wants us to think we have to buy more and more and more and do whatever they say. NOOOO. We DON'T.

    Throw that cool aid away.

    You WILL get to have sex.

    But in the meantime, stop drinking the cool aid, please, because you are just putting more and more pressure on yourself and probably coming across as desperate. It's gonna happen, OK? And you DON'T need this sadistic Frank somebody or whoever telling you you are less employable or whatever OMG, DITCH THAT LOSER STAT.

    You have a lot to offer, even as a virgin. And it's time you realised that. You are not just your penis. :) There are more good things about you that a girl could like. And sex can be LEARNED. TOGETHER with her.
     
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  15. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    So you seem like you know it all ? yeah iight, most likely not... i have a pretty good amount of female friends so you might want to rethink your disagreement but that's on you... just please don't try to be mr.cool third person here, thanks .
    Anyways, its all good bro . it's just an opinion, you do whatever you need to do . I know what works for me so you should know what works for you . take care :D
     
  16. Tesslynne

    Tesslynne Guest

    Yeah, do whatever you need to do EXCEPT killing yourself over this. PLEASE DON'T do THAT.

    See the pinned post on the main forum. Or it might be in rebooting. About suicide.
     
  17. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    +1 on Tesslynne's posts above
     
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  18. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    What does being a virgin have to do with calling 911?
     
  19. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    Who cares about sex and losing virginity? That's so stupid. This coming from a young guy by the way. Uhhhh!!! I get so mad when that's all I hear people talk about. This world is going down the tube. *Sigh*. SMH.
     
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  20. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    I guess I'm an anomaly, a one in 7 billion, wired differently from everyone else because I don't see why so much emphasis is put on losing virginity. From what I've heard copulation only lasts for a few minutes anyway. Therefore the pleasure gained is empty and meaningless. IDK I just needed to vent.
     
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2017

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