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What's my problem? why can't i go in a relationship? And girls tell me am handsome and i got a good

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Odigi13, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. Odigi13

    Odigi13 Fapstronaut

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    Heyy everyone am 17 and i've never had a girlfriend am not those boys who never talk to girls because i do and i talk to a couple of them but still am shy and confident-less.
    The girl that is actually my bestfriend i've been loving her since 2012 i was in grade 7 we became close in 2014 i was in grade 9 from there we started talking really frequently in grade 10 she moved to another school and we were calling and testing almost everyday at that time i was really in love but she had a boyfriend like it has always been few month after she left her boyfriend for me but i never knew it and i was talking to her about other girls just to make her jealous finally she started dating another guy she had met in her new school with whom they are still together,in 2016 we were talking rarely and that's when i really realised that i loved her soo in May that year i told it to her and kinda felt like she was not suprised but at that same time i told her i didn't want us to stay bestfriends and she cried so hard i still remember it today but after made it up.
    Last year in 2017 i then cameback telling her i loved her i even went to kiss her but after i told her that we should stop talking like for ever, i hurt her so bad but finally i asked her for pardon and she gave me her apologies and i promised myself i'll never hurt her again up today. I really did all i could do to stop loving her and i don't know if i really stopped she is the only girl whom I've loved or liked and she did it back if though it didn't last.
    And this is where starts my problem i like girls who do not like me back and am liked by girls i don't like back and this really make me feel lonely and bad .
    Almost all the girls i like have boyfriends and this really irritate me so bad.
    There is this girl i met a month ago at first we were really texting like too much I really liked her but she has a boyfriend and i feel like she's had enough of me almost all girls end up getting enough of me i don't know maybe am boring or...i need help
     
    deyocbx likes this.
  2. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    So, what do you want us to help you with? To me it sounds like you're doing fine but just haven't met a right girl yet which likes you back. Sometimes it takes time and luck, and all you can do is keep searching.
     
    deyocbx and Peace467 like this.
  3. Odigi13

    Odigi13 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you @LilD some how i just wanted to tell my story and get it out
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  4. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    I can relate I'm 18 and had a crush on a girl since forever and we went out but then she liked someone else and I was really sad. I try to stay in shape and be confident/approach girls but still no luck. I guess it takes patience and we have to keep trying. All it takes is one and it could happen at anytime don't let opportunities slip.
     
    Awerty N and Odigi13 like this.
  5. Datme

    Datme Fapstronaut

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    I had the same experience as you. One thing I've learned from it is don't be a nice guy. Really by reading your post I can see that you put her on a pedestal and that's why she is not attracted to you. We have a neurochemical in the brain called "oxytocin" this will arise if you are bonding with somebody you love. The chemical is great if you finally find a girl that fits you and wants to stay with you. However, if you find a girl that doesn't want to stay with you but she "friendzones" you completely well, then you will suffer a lot of emotional pain. It is better for your mental health and for your personal development to let these kind of girls go.

    It's okay to be friends with girls don't get me wrong but if your intentions are to be in a relationship with a girl and she already has a boyfriend or she "friendzoned" you then let her go as hard as it may seem.

    The thing that you should be putting on a pedestal are your goals. What do you want to get out of life? Having a relationship with a girl that you love is an important part of our life but the most important part of our life is ourselves and our personal development.

    Ironically by chasing your goals and not girls, girls that you like and you approach will like your presence and they will feel attracted to you like a magnet.

    Also don't wander around with the mindset: "I only like girls that have boyfriends" because your mind will look for it unconsciously.

    A book recommendation that I can give you is: "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida.

    May it be well with you.
     
  6. Seriously, If I had know this at 15, or 20, or 25, my life would have been a LOT more awesome. I for one a still trying to figure out what goals I want, as I can be defeatist at times.
     
    Awerty N and Buddhabro like this.
  7. Somnambulist

    Somnambulist Fapstronaut

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    It's especially hard when what you want out of life IS to be in a relationship. For me, there's a few things that I kinda want, and I'm actively pursuing them; but none of them are really a passion. They certainly haven't gotten me anywhere with the ladies.

    I think the rationale behind it is not necessarily do what you love and people will be attracted to you; but rather project confidence, something that comes naturally when you're doing something you love.
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  8. Hillario

    Hillario Fapstronaut

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    Hi man, you are 17 years old, are you serious. Do you know what is love, when I was 17 for me love was touch girl's boob in bus. And you say love...
    Honestly, I'm not joking you or insulting, just want to tell you, you are OK, study, socialize.
    If you ask me, as soon as you define yourself (for example student of economics who likes football, watch sitcoms, and drive a bike to colleage) sooner you will find girl that is similar to you and you'll connect. Just set a goal and then you'll not turn around for every boob that is walking around, you'll have more certain girl which you look for

    Best R
     

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