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What's considered porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Tobias, Feb 15, 2014.

  1. Tobias

    Tobias Fapstronaut

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    So I've been struggling a little for the first time in the P urges department, just wanted to get people's views of what's considered porn

    I get easy excited by naked, even half naked bodies, in particular muscle, ripped bodies. Is seeing photo posts and watching videos of muscle models and their workouts constitute as porn from my perspective?

    How about going on dating sites, where there may be naked photos of people?
     
  2. aron

    aron Fapstronaut

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    This has been answered here http://www.nofap.org/forum/showthread.php?4528-Porn-What-is-it-and-what-it-s-not&highlight=porn

    Basically, porn has different meaning depending whether you are using or trying to quit it. While quitting, porn is ANYTHING that gets the brain to release dopamine. When you are quitting porn, the brain is really low on dopamine, so it will try and trick you to release dopamine, so you will engage in any activity that releases even a little bit of dopamine.
     
  3. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi Tobias, excellent question. It's one most of ask along the way to quitting because at some point, though we are not accessing "porn", or what we think of as hardcore pornography, once we quit we start to trigger on other images, that many would not categorize as porn.

    What aron says is absolutely true. You are 14 days in, and are at a vulnerable place. My belief is that when quitting porn, when we quit pushing the porn button initially, when our dopamine levels first start to fall, we become sensitive to non-porn images, images that are still, for us, hypersexualized, but not strictly speaking, porn.

    This from another post:

    "Porn is seeing porn, it is watching it, it is thinking about it, it is imagining it, it is remembering it, it is thinking about it while MOing even if you are not actually watching it, it is PMOing, it is fantasizing, it is edging while watching or thinking about it, it is having actual sex while thinking of porn, it is porn substitutes, any hypersexualized imagery or thought of that. Porn can be strictly in the brain, or it can be in hard copy, it can be on computers, televisions, and on smart phones, as in apps. Porn is phone sex. Porn is engaging any thought of unreal sex. Porn is chat rooms. Porn is sex toys. It is dating sites. For one guy in this forum, porn is a cock ring. Porn does not have to be visual, it can be strictly audio. Porn can be literature about sex. Porn does not have to be on porn sites, it can be found on Facebook, Craigslist, Youtube, etc. It can be found on commercial retail sites; Sears, Target, Walmart. For me, when I first started quitting, I told myself I was making progress because I moved from very hardcore stuff to Google images, where I searched vanilla nudes. Bikini pics trigger me. Lingerie models trigger me. Hooters girls trigger me. Just girls on the street trigger me if I let them, but I don't. I consciously have decided not to let hypersexualized images linger in my head. Before, I was not making progress, I was still feeding my dopamine fix. You have to avoid your triggers, not flirt with them. Let me say this again--you have to avoid your triggers, not flirt with them. Your triggers are not going to be merely the hardcore stuff you are trying to quit watching, they will be much softer stuff than can pop out on you from benign sites like Yahoo, Craigslist, Google. You have know that in advance and plan on avoiding them. You have to get your dopamine levels back down. That will take time (could be 30 days) and requires a total absence of porn in your head. If you are walking down the street in the middle of the day thinking about porn, you are using porn, so find something else to pop in your head if that situation occurs.

    On humility. Yes, we have to be humble. We cannot fall into the "we can handle it now" trap. I had to learn I cannot use porn casually, cannot play with it, pick it up and put it down when I wanted. It does take humility to accept we are not strong enough to control it."


    My belief, Tobias--and I share this with aron--is that especially in the early stages of quitting, and at 14 days you are right there, you must avoid indulging your triggers. For me, that was bikini pics and vanilla nudes. Understand that before my addiction to hardcore high speed internet pornography photos of bikini girls did not trigger me--they interested me, but I was not addicted to them. But, after I quit hardcore high speed internet porn, seeing bikini pics (and other sexual-but-not-hardcore-images) allowed my dopamine levels to spike up, tempting me to relapse. You must understand that the point of the exercise is not merely or necessarily or only to "quit porn", but, rather, to get your dopamine levels back to pre porn levels. Porn is just the mechanism we use to get a dopamine fix, but, ultimately, avoiding the fix is the solution you are striving for.

    You need to dial down hypersexualized thoughts and imagery for a couple months, and after that a lot of guys say they don't feel the need to access them so much, or if they do see mildly sexual imagery, it does not trigger them. This advice would extend to avoiding dating sites with nudes (hypersexualized imagery designed to create hypersexualized thoughts and communications, which in turn lead to excessive dopamine release).

    Sorry if this sounds overly clinical, but, give it a couple of months and I think you will better understand where we are coming from.

    Peace.
     
    Jamesmwaura likes this.
  4. upside

    upside Fapstronaut

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    Definitions don't matter. If it's getting in the way of you quitting porn, leave it alone. Relating to a real life woman is the only time you should be getting horny, everything else is gonna drag you back to porn addiction.

    : )
     
  5. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    What upside said.
     
  6. Tobias

    Tobias Fapstronaut

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    Thanks very much guys, definitely some food for thought. I totally understand that the point of the exercise is to limit dopamine levels. I kinda feel like the detailed descriptive post is restrictive... It almost tries to take out the joy of living.

    For me, since nofap I've transferred a lot of my energy to gym and watching workout and motivational videos on YouTube. Gym is the only thing that's keeping me controlled, stress free and sane at the moment... Being gay, the guys on the videos occasionally gets me a bit excited, but most of the time I'm looking at the technique and hints to get better with my routine.

    Is it just a matter of training myself to focus on the purpose and intent of those videos?
     
  7. upside

    upside Fapstronaut

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    Tobias, why are you watching videos with hot guys in?! If you're trying to quit PMO, this isn't helpful. How about videos fronted by women instead of men? Or read about fitness instead of watching videos? And how about other stuff you enjoy apart from the gym? You're doing the right thing putting all your energy into positive activities and now could maybe expand that range of activities so you're not relying on the gym alone.

    As for taking the fun out of life, trust me, life has so much amazing stuff to get excited about that ISN'T to do with porn! This will become more apparent as you leave porn behind. Just have faith, it's all good and it's all coming your way.

    :cool:
     
  8. Tobias

    Tobias Fapstronaut

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    Thanks upside, I dont intend on watching the workout videos for sexual pleasure, but they do sometimes act as a trigger which was why i posted this topic.

    i guess there are other ways to get the same information, i cant say i'm going to quit watching the videos, but will be very mindful not to continue watching anyone that triggers me.

    In terms of what else is amazing in life, i'm still struggling to find much that interests me, hobbies etc... nothing really gets me excited, maybe it's the PMO for the last 15+ years, but so far in my life it's been pretty boring. The biggest gap is a non-existent sex/love life, hopeful it'll get better soon, but even hope/faith is running out soon.
     

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