What's a guy who isn't around any girls to do?

For me the lack of relationships was a huge reason for me to PMO and i'm 24 now, so yeah, i guess it is pretty normal. Also, don't get too stuck to the idea of "normal", since we all have our unique problems and ways to deal with them. And beneath the surface level we all are in some ways unique in many different ways.

The fact that you used percents to inform us of your math nerdiness leads me to the conclusion that aforementioned percentage is underestimated to a great extent. Just kidding . But jokes aside, what do you say to the women though? If you only speak of something related to school stuff, it might be harder to get to know them better, since they want to see the human inside you, your passions and your sense of humour, and not just a hardworking student. At least the girls during my school years didn't really fancy much of the school talk. I would assume they want to have more relaxed talk. Hard for me to say what the issue here is, but maybe this will help you in some way?

 

I see. Those topics don't generally interest girls your age. Have you tried to ask more about them? Like what they like to do and why? If you are genuinely interested in them, it makes the conversation flow more naturally. Although you may not have the same hobbies you might still find common ground on something, although in a large group it might be difficult to get to know about people more personally.

If it is hard to find genuine interest in the girls, or people overall, then i would suggest to try to find other events and places where you could possibly connect with people who share similiar interests. There's a site called meetup in which you can arrange or participate in all sorts of events. I haven't tried it myself yet, but i heard about it through this site.

 

I myself was homeschooled, so I understand how difficult it can be to be social; although I did barricade the opportunity of meeting people myself, in fact I still sometimes do that.

After I quit weed I had a free 80+ hours on my hands to get off the couch, and meet some people. I had to force myself to do this regimen but I'm glad I did. You can replace your addiction for a goal any day, and when I stopped doing drugs I got new friends, a better job with a better car, and a good figure which helped attract the ladies.
So you spent maybe an average of 8 minutes or more looking at PMO? Twice a day for a month (31 days)
I would suggest taking your newly free 496 minutes just to lift some weights, work your core.etc because there is some results when it comes to likeliness of been asked out on a date, it's annoying since I'm taken but just saying it works.

 

Hey @Adamantem!

First off, even if the following does not correspond to the kind of "I'm okay, you're okay" answer you seem to be hoping for, it is not that I do not sympathize/empathize. It's more that a helping of tough love seems more helpful to me.

First, though I know that in our teens, especially early teens, we're all dying to fit in, "normal" is not a useful concept, IMO. In Russia, it is "normal" for men to drink so much Vodka -- I assume to be considered "real" men -- that they die way too early, on the whole. In today’s world, porn is so “normal” that it takes up most of all that happens on the internet – whereas dirty pictures a hundred years ago were far less prevalent and not considered particularly normal at all. “Normal” is not a helpful concept: it is a blind excuse, most of the time, for not living by one’s own heart and mind.

Secondly, my current PMO issues, failed marriages, weird social life, and professional issues… all started with lots and lots of porn (I grew up where there were lots of “sex shops”). So, while questioning whether it’s “normal” at all, I think PMO addiction is, more importantly, unhealthy and destructive of our connection to the opposite sex (or same sex, if we prefer).

So, lastly, PMO addiction does not replace our intimate relationships – a fallacy that got me into it too – but it undermines them, changes our desires, our fantasies, our needs, our availability, our energy for change, our self-respect, our ability to discipline ourselves, our confidence, our charm, and our charisma. It’s an (expletive-deleted) mess. So, no, PMO is not a healthy alternative, or a “normal” one to intimacy. It may be a prevalent one, but then so are meth addictions, overeating, greed, dishonesty, and all the other behaviors we should rightfully avoid.

Having gotten that out of the way, what then is healthy? Well, it’s real life. A certain level of MO is probably okay, as long as we use our life-inspired imagination or so. But the more we use our most sacred energies of life and heart to develop twisted emotional dependencies on the pixelated products of a sick, ruthless, and spiritually more-than-bankrupt porn industry the less “normal” we are, imo.

Cheers!

 

If it's relationship you're looking for, then i suggest to wait until you find a girl that you can speak easily with without too much thinking. Also, overthinking gets in the way of good conversation easily. I'm not sure if you have the same habit that i have, which is not being able to speak what just happens to come up, but dissecting and analyzing and trying to figure out whether i should even say it, or if there's a better way to say it etc. One thing too: when you listen to someone, you don't necessarily have to think what would you answer while you listen. Just listen it, and you either have something to share or you don't. If the topic doesn't tickle you in anyway, you can just pass it. Maybe not with complete silence because that can get awkward, but with saying what do you feel about the topic.

Doing, learning and exploring new things might also help with sociability since it adapts you to think about more than just your daily routines. I often fill my days with reading about psychology, philosophy, neurology, video games and doing 3d modelling and i know these things are not interesting to most people. Doing something different every now and then helps to remind me that there is more to life.

You will eventually be able to connect emotionally with someone. First though, you have to do it with yourself. Just be persistent and Impendin Solitude will be a bitter ex in the future.

 

So, based on the fact you're home schooled I'm going to make some assumptions about age, and talk about some of the stuff I did or didn't do when I was in high school and into college.

First, my addiction to PMO started in high school and started to eat up a lot of my time, and the problem didn't go away when I went to college. If anything it got worse, as the more I PMO'd, the less I wanted to take advantage of opportunities. So, here I am, 28, alone, and trying to get my life back in order. So, here's the advice so it doesn't happen to you:

1. Look for non-school related stuff, like sports teams, to join. There are plenty of non-school affiliated teams out there. I personally did non-school swimming and fencing. I made some good friends, and if I hand't been so into PMO and rather oblivious, would have had a girlfriend from it. You can do something similar to meet people outside of school. Maybe it might be all guys depending on what you pick, but having more friends is never a bad thing, and more friends come with more social opportunities. Look around, there's all kinds of things out there now.

2. If the girls aren't interested in you at the current social stuff, then don't sweat it. If you choose to do college, you'll meet a lot of people there that will have similar interests, including math geeking. I was part of the quidditch club when i went to college, no joke. college is a great time to meet people, better then highschool or the homeschool equivalent. you'll be a bit more mature then, so will the other people around. You'll have more freedom in regards to what you want to do, and more opportunity to meet people with similar tastes. Which leads into number 3.

3. Keep trying. Even if you just end up as friends with girls in your current social setting, that's not a bad thing. Everything takes practice, and that includes talking to girls. More you do it, less you'll be nervous.

4. Don't be afraid to ask to hang out with just them. If there's a girl you're getting along with at the group outings, don't be afraid to ask for a date later, or at least a chance to hang out again. Make your intent clear. You'll regret 100% of the chances you don't take.

Hope this helps some.

P.S. you're already ahead of where I was back then by trying to give up PMO. Keep at it

 

Okay here it is - my advice - ohhhhhhhh shit!
- Find a girl that you really get along with, but may not be a 10/10 in your books. Practice sex together.
- Find a hobby which is really interesting. When i was younger i started writing a novel.. even though it was pretty crap i enjoyed it. So, when i met a girl and she asked what i've been up to.. i wouldn't respond "Oh, nothing really." Instead i would say "Oh, just writing a novel." "Really?! What's it about???" Have hobbies that are interesting to talk about.
- I find with not just girls but everybody - people like to talk about themselves. Ask a girl questions about herself and she will love to fill you in.
- Practice. Practice talking to everyone. It really isn't hard to do. Even if you feel awkward - just casually chat about anything and everything - the possibilities are literally infinite.
- When it comes to girls - act like you don't really care that much. People are attracted to what they can't have. Do not put her on a pedestal. Have a take it or leave it attitude.
- Put some socks in your pants. Haha just kidding.
- You seem smart and interesting. Smart is attractive.. you got this mane.

 

Listen to that guy^. alexander86 fucks!

 

lol i wouldn't go that far.

But Yes, i do occasionally make sweet sweet love to my GF of 3 years.

And sometimes we 69.

But most importantly - she is really cool, and fun to be around. We laugh a lot and rarely fight.

 

Hey Adam!

Sorry for the confusion, but, "I'm OK - You're OK" refers to a 1967 self-help book by a certain Thomas Anthony Harris in which he describes attitudes towards self and others. To quote Wikipedia "The phrase I'm OK, You're OK is one of four "life positions" that each of us may take. The four positions are: I'm Not OK, You're OK, I'm Not OK, You're Not OK, I'm OK, You're Not OK, I'm OK, You're OK -- the most common position being I'm Not OK, You're OK, including, I assume, among many PMO and other addicts. I mentioned it since your initial post seemed to implicitly ask "am I OK?", basically. That was all, really.

Peace!

 

'zactly!

way to go, adam!!

 

Sports is just an example. I suck at most of them myself, but it'ss till fun to try, and if you're with a bunch of newbies, it's expected to suck.

If you want sports and quantifying to crossover though, try fantasy football. It's all about knowing people's stats and who to pick. A bit late to start this year since the season is already going, but it's an idea. Not as many girls in that, but I live by the philosophy of trying to meet more people and you'll meet more girls. Also, trivia! Sounds like you'd rock that.

And yeah, Quidditch was the nerd sport, complete with non-flying brooms. We looked like dorks, but it was fun.