What to expect during his reboot?

To anyone reading this, I hope you are trying to love yourself and take care of yourself today.

My SO is currently on day 4 of his 90-day reboot in hard mode. His reboot includes PMO, gawking, and fantasizing. It also includes personal goals like no lying, no instant gratification and no sex in our relationship. I understand the reasoning for this and I am on board if that is what it takes. It will definitely be a challenge as our sex life was previously very active (he didn't have really any ED to speak of). That being said, I see it as an opportunity for us to rebuild our intimacy after the trust has been so badly hurt.

I want to know what I can expect from his reboot? And how I should handle it? We don't live together and we are both working and in school, so I really have to resist my need for control and focus on my healing during this time. I simply can't look over his shoulder and micromanage his recovery. He has put all the necessary precautions in place, he's a new and active member here, and he has several APs he can turn to (including me). So it's up to him to either make the changes or...not. All of my attempts at control failed miserably anyway, so I might as well try taking care of myself for a change, right?

I'm looking for any and all advice/experience. At the moment I'm particularly nervous about the time during his reboot that his libido spikes and he's basically a horny teenager again. That happens to most PAs in reboot, right? Well, that's really scary to me. We won't be having sex and he works at a college campus full of beautiful young women just ripe for the gawking/fantasizing. I keep thinking about a cute 19-year-old intern that works there and it makes my stomach turn. If we're not having sex, he has no outlet and I fear that he will essentially be "pushed over the edge".

Any advice for me? Or words of comfort would be nice. I'm pretty nervous about this.

 

Thank you for this. I checked out Kenzi's post and it gave a lot of great details. I sent some info over to my SO and he said it was helpful for him to know what to expect as well.

Thank you for the reminder that I'm not lacking. I have really been struggling with that, to the point that I had a big meltdown over the weekend. I didn't realize how much I'd been doubting myself.