what to do AFTER 90 days challenge/reboot?

Hello,

I'm new to this thing. After some considerations to try it I realized I haven't seen any particular information about what should be the person's attitude to fapping AFTER completion of the "reboot". I've tried to look for it specifically but couldn't find the answer, so probably the community will be able to answer.

I realize, that the challenge can be extended from standard 90 days to 365 and so on and so on. But still that 90 days "reboot" time should give something by itself.

So let's say I complete my 90 days (or let's make it 100). Would it be OK/safe for me now to fap once in a while? Maybe once per week or something (now my average is twice a day)? Would it keep my brain "rebooted" and my dopamine (or whatever) addiction gone?

I'm asking because due to my complicated situation I'm quite sure I won't have any relations with girls during the challenge and probably at least for some time after it. So it will probably be a "hard mode" for me. I mean, if by some miracle there will be a chance of sex, I'll take it, but I doubt that it can be, due to my experience in the latter years. I'm still young, 26, but didn't have any sex (neither any kisses or similar, nothing even leading to it) for 3 years, after the break of the long 5 years+ relationship with my ex. But I still want to be able to experience orgasm consciously sometimes, not only through the wet dreams.

Btw, my addiction was never for pornography, it is just for masturbation. Sometimes I use porn, when I'm too tired, but I prefer much more imagining the real girls/women I know or have seen that day, instead of looking at pictures or video.

It is possible that there is no single answer to it. What are your experiences? What did you do after successfully finishing the challenge? What have other people done? What would be your advices? Thank you so much in advance and sorry for my imperfect English (I'm from a country where the native language isn't English).

 

Thanks everyone for the comments, it has been really useful for me, and I hope will be useful for other similar problems having people who will stumble upon this topic.

Now what I understood from your posts, this addiction might work just as well as the alcohol addiction. I know some people who have quitted drinking for good, and they really cannot take even a sip anymore - probably for life. They cannot just become like other regular people, who are able to keep drinking only on special occasions, without overindulging. The addiction still remains hardwired, just suppressed by a long non-drinking period.

However as my problem is not exactly porn (the artificial stimuli), but the masturbation, it might or might not be the case for me. Many doctors say that masturbation isn't that bad, if it doesn't become compulsive and don't interfere with your other activities, it might be even healthy under some circumstances. Like with junk food, it's not bad to try it sometimes; if your brain and life is on balance, it shouldn't turn to eating often or binging. I believe my best shot would be to try those 90 or 100 days now, and after that see whether I still crave MO. If so, probably let it be, but I'll do my best to keep it really rare and controlled - and no porn of course. If not, I'll try to extend that period more

Now I have one more question, maybe it deserves another thread, but I'll post it here at first. During your NoFap challenge, do you allow yourself more of other pleasures? Maybe binge eating, more alcohol, procrastination, endless series/movies watching, music, computer games, excessive exercising, workaholism, etc.? During my challenge I'd like not to gain other addictions instead, but maybe denying yourself so much at once might be too harsh and unrealizable.

 

Thanks everyone for all of the input.

I would like to announce that my 100 days journey has already started two days ago - NoFap, presumably hard mode. With the combination of my clean diet control and sport it will be one hell of experience. My previous lifetime record probably didn't exceed 10 days, when I got a chance to stay temporarily with my gf, and there was not a single night in need of fap.

I accept all wishes and prayers for my success May the force be with you all too.

http://vimeo.com/22219037

 

First 4 days were OK, but today was difficult as hell. Most probably because of the fact that I've spent much of the evening with a girl, a friend (whom I've had a relationship a long ago, but now she sees me only as a friend; however she's still very attractive to me). I rarely do that, so it was nice, and we hugged when saying goodbye (it's not a thing I experience often, either). After that I was hardly able to get asleep, and even morning exercise didn't help right away (as it usually does). I really hope that everything I have read about lessened cravings after two weeks, is true.

 

Newlife, it's an interesting stance. But you know, I believe, that everything's not so black and white, there are many shades of personalities between pure egoist and pure altruist. For example, everyone still need to eat and most people still need to feel orgasm at least once in a while to be happy. Or, for example, you need to rest and sleep periodically, it's not selfish, it's just vital. I believe that when you are happy, you are able to help others more, as you have more energy and you can focus better. It's like during the flight, when safety instructions goes: "before helping others with their oxygen masks, please make sure that your's is already adjusted". Moreover it's all connected: I'll give you some examples.

I started to fap quite early in life, and by the time I found my girlfriend, I've already have read much about what women love in bed (as it turned me on maybe more than porn). So when we started having sex she was totally fascinated. She couldn't believe she was my first, because my technique, ability to turn her on, to predict what she'll like was very sophisticated. She also really enjoyed that I was able to keep "boner" for a long time (never had a premature ejaculation). So wouldn't you say, that my masturbation helped her in the long term?

Or for example working out. You can have a nice body, which might seem "egoistic", moreover working out gives you a good feeling, flows of endorphins. But if you in a good shape, you have more chances to help someone, who is being attacked. Your presence can even prevent it. Or you have more chances to reach someone drowning in time.

Or you might have been "playing" a computer game: WoW, Civilization, or something else just for fun. So you go to the party and you see a guy in the corner who seems uncomfortable with all the others. Eventually you find out he's an addicted gamer. So you can talk with him about some aspects of the games, because you are the only one who understands, and he will really appreciate that. And finally you can indirectly give him hope, that life is more than those games, as you yourself are a good example of that. How do I thought of such scenario? I've been that kid in the corner.

Madrileño: I understand you. I'm just thinking whether P/M addiction is more comparable to alcohol or to binge eating. Your organism actually doesn't need alcohol to function properly. But it needs food, just not in 'binge' quantities. Orgasms also are needed by most men: wet dreams are proof of that. Masturbation for non-addicted people is just consciously choosing time to relieve yourself, instead of leaving time choosing to your body. It's nothing wrong, I think, if you don't do it more often, that the wet dreams would occur. And it's OK to take some pleasure with that (not talking about porn) But yes, maybe it's too dangerous for some people who can relapse. So I guess everyone of us have to make find out for ourselves, and make choices.

 

Madrileño, thanks for the answer. Yes, your arguments are clear. I agree that we should just base our choices on our personal situations. If I understood correctly, I'm younger than you, so it is possible that my hormones are still very active because of my age. Furthermore I consider myself to have a very high sex drive (however I'm not sure, maybe it's the addiction speaking). I didn't have any sexual contact in 3 years, and I know I shouldn't count on having it soon. Imagine what that means for a young guy who still remembers what real sex is. After my NoFap a little fap e.g. once a week (no porn), shouldn't negate my achievements, and should be enough to let me tell myself, that I'm still allowing myself some pleasure, while I'm alive. I know that getting the girl would be better, however it is incredibly difficult for me, I'm totally at the lowest league. NoFap might be one step towards it, but much more should be done and that needs time. People who have girlfriends, wives (or are at least good at one night stands) of course do not have such good reasons to return to fapping after NoFap.

Emerge, very interesting post. I can also note that some of my fantasies are not very grounded also, they are based on stories or even visual porn. While it helped when I was in relationship, it distorts the reality now. Btw, as my NoFap progresses I feel I'm more and more desperate even in my imagination. E.g. usually I fantasized about no less than a long sex with a girl I like, story being with proper fabula, flirt and everything. Now I'm totally horny only after a little stray fantasy about how a random girl sits in my car, asks to stop by the wood, reaches into my pants and ends it in three minutes. I'm so waiting for the flatline or something, as I literally cannot do anything productive.