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What things do I need before dating?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by CompulsiveCrab, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

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    I have been without relationship for a long time, and so I've mustered the courage to go back into it head first. But I don't want to lack preparedness.
    For example I'm in a living situation that requires I sleep in a small bedroom at my grandma's, and then my room at my dad's for leisure and my pets home. I don't want to date period, because I'm not in an "in control" environment. I don't want to date because I'm not financially stable and lack discipline.

    Should I work these out before dating? Also if there's any other checklist things I can consider before dating
     
  2. Fluffykins

    Fluffykins Fapstronaut

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    Hold on there stud. I can understand entirely where you're coming from on some of your points. There's no real reason to dive right into the deep end. I understand wanting to live in a controlled environment, but I can see that as a way to build a connection with your SO (significant other) They say absence makes the heart grow fonder with relationships and if you try each other, then their should be no worries. And regarding financial stability, you don't need money to have a good time together. . . (even though it certainly helps.) The time you spend should be cherished.

    Just take it nice and slow and go when it feels right. You'll do great!
     
    silenteagle and CompulsiveCrab like this.
  3. Echra

    Echra Fapstronaut

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    That's where I'm currently at. I tested my skills about a year ago to get into a relationship, took me three days to get into and then three weeks to get out of, once I realized I was in it for the wrong reasons. I'm now happily solo and working on myself.
    Not true for everyone, but I believe I can't be the best partner unless I'm already my best self. Then again, if I randomly stumbled upon an individual and it clicks, it clicks. I just see no need to constantly seek someone else when I know I am unhappy with and working on myself.
    I feel like you're the only one who will be able to create your preparedness checklist. Just got to take a long hard look in the mirror and think about what you're prepared for and what your priorities need to be.
     
    CompulsiveCrab likes this.
  4. Fluffykins

    Fluffykins Fapstronaut

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    You're exactly right. There are somethings that others just can't help you prepare for. Period. But the encouragement they can provide can help you start moving in the right direction.
     
  5. CompulsiveCrab

    CompulsiveCrab Fapstronaut

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    Ok, yes I was told something in that respect. They said it similar to, 'the bond being stronger going through crisis together rather than already dealt with it beforehand.' Something in that regard.

    And these "things" that are preventing me from dating are actually excuses I make myself from taking on dating altogether. Having read this from "the dating playbook" by andrew ferebee. (Ref.)
     
  6. What do you need before you date?

    IMO you need to know you're enough - you don't need a girl because you're enough. Because if you go into a relationship thinking you need a woman it will make the relationship a terrible one. Like Mary J Blige sings, "You've gotta love yourself if you really wanna be with someone else".

    Another thing is I think you need a complete reboot before dating. Not everyone here agrees with me but I think you will be in great trouble if you go back to looking at porn while dating. It's a fact a woman can't help you do NoFap, you have to do it yourself. I thought having a girlfriend would help me quit but I was wrong. I think it's best to quit P & M while single.
     
  7. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    you need to be happy for the date! that's all you need!
     
    CompulsiveCrab likes this.
  8. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Don't wait 3 months to date. Go out and live life.
     
    CompulsiveCrab likes this.

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