Hello, made a post here a few weeks ago about my ”addiction” Long story short before i start; I had a PA due to stress and such, I always liked chubby girls, GF gained lots of weight, didnt dare telling her, used to upload pics of her body to a fetish site to hear others comment her looks in a way i had wanted to. So, this.. In my previous post i told you about my PA and why i have had an addiction. I mentioned I used to chat with anonymous strangers on a fetish site to get pics sent to me to JO, as i didnt want to put my chubby-”fetish” upon my GF. This escalated and I soon started uploading pics of my GFs body there, making a username/profile with her photos, some of them being taken of her without her notice while she was changing etc and the rest of them just pics i had taken with her notice at the beach and so on. I got turned on and addicted to hearing how she turned people on and how they would comment on her weight and how good she was looking etc.. As soon I was done I deleted everything and I felt so much shame, but still i did it for like 6-7 months. I decided to tell her about it and stop, and i have been ”clean” for 6 months or so never going back. She is not too bothered as i assured her there was no face etc on these pics showing her body, and that i deleted them after a short while. So thats the story, she is very understanding, wich makes me feel even worse, as i feel like i dont deserve her love and kindness and im so depressed thinking about what people would say or think if they knew I have always been there for her and always will, she is the love of my life, and she says the same. I just need help to cope with my past behaviour and understsnd how the hell i could be so retarded during those times. I feel so bad, so horrible, so disgusting and creepy, i would NEVER do it again. I feel like im trapped in a nightmare, i know theres no picture that can harm her IF anyone would have saved it or so, but im still so anxious about the fact that someone might have some of the pics saved or so. I just want to leave it all behind, be able to forgive myself and stop dwelling in the past..