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What should I do for my boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by LoLo1995, Jun 3, 2018.

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  1. Jun 3, 2018 #1
    LoLo1995

    LoLo1995 New Fapstronaut

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    I am really new to everything and would appreciate any feedback on my situation.

    I met this guy online who I quickly began to like. We dated for about 5 months and recently split up because he says he doesn't think that this is a good time to be in a relationship. During the relationship we would frequently have sex, where for about half the time he had issues with ED, and he was into some things that might stem from his pornography habits. It was half way through our dating that he admitted to me his addiction to porn (in two separate confessions). I was upset that he had kept his addiction from me, but I was and still am willing to work through it all with him. We continued to date and have sex after his confession.

    I feel that I can handle being by his side and not have sex. Though he worries about temptation, and being dependant on me. I know that I am being selfish, but I truly care about him, and I guess what I want to know is if I should reach out to him while he struggles with this journey even after having a rather amicable breakup.

    Thanks for any help.
     
    LoLo1995, Jun 3, 2018
    LoLo1995, Jun 3, 2018
    #1
    McNugget-32 and SanityOverVanity like this.
  2. Jun 4, 2018 #2
    FPRA

    FPRA Fapstronaut

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    Hello,

    Honestly I'm not an expert at all ( I have recently begun my journey in earest as you can see ) but IMO I would give him some time. I know you probably really like him and all, but it might make him relapse if you message him again. I can imagine it was probably tough to break it off to focus on his journey and the contact might bring back emotions and such.

    If you guys were friends before dating it might be alright, but IMO if your relationship with him was nothing but romantic/sexual it wouldn't be a great idea.

    That said, thank you SO much for being supportive of him. TBH I am super scared of having to tell whoever I start dating about my problem. I don't know how they will act (especially since I'm probably going to date someone religious) and ive never been in a relationship before, so I don't have experience with sensitive topics. You are a really great person for seeing the good in him and being supportive.

    (Again, I am no expert, just my opinion)
     
    FPRA, Jun 4, 2018
    FPRA, Jun 4, 2018
    #2
  3. Jun 4, 2018 #3
    ControlMyLife

    ControlMyLife Fapstronaut

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    what is he abstaining from? if it is from porn and masturbation, then there is no reason, not be in a relationship and having sex. if he trying to avoid orgasms or being celibate and you cause him to relapse, then you should respect his decision and move on.
    anyway it takes two to form a relationship, and unless both of you committed to give each other and work as a team, you are wasting your time.
     
    ControlMyLife, Jun 4, 2018
    ControlMyLife, Jun 4, 2018
    #3
  4. Jun 4, 2018 #4
    MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    It depends, part of me wants to empathize and say go help and support as much as u can. Other part of me knows that it may not work/make it worse. I think u should let him work on it. Support him morally from far and let him know that if he makes progress and wants to try again in a few months that ur willing to do it.

    That being said be really careful how much time and mental energy u put into this. Its great u wanna help him but don't down urself trying to save someone that may need to hit rock bottom on their own. I mean it seems like if u could have helped him a lot then it wouldnt have ended. Life isnt simple sometimes and wanting the best for someone doesnt mean u can do it. So its rough.

    I'd really say give him positive feminine energy from far and hope he is attracted to that. If he isnt then u should move on.
     
    MetaGame, Jun 4, 2018
    MetaGame, Jun 4, 2018
    #4

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