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What is WRONG with Me?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Broken_hearted, Sep 23, 2017.

  1. Sep 23, 2017 #1
    Broken_hearted

    Broken_hearted Fapstronaut

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    Why do I constantly feel the need to waste money on a nanny can, just to see the faces, his pleasure? I'm constantly trying to catch him in the act and he hides it so well. I th8nk he can arouse himself so much with this, to the point where heonly neefs seconds to finish. Im smelling trashed tissues and tryung to catch him. Now i see why he's so with drawn what do I do to address this situation with a.man who does not like confrontation and will COMPLETELY shut down and not say a word?
     
    Broken_hearted, Sep 23, 2017
    Broken_hearted, Sep 23, 2017
    #1
  2. Sep 24, 2017 #2
    EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Been there, done that. Even when confronted with hard evidence right in front of him, my PA would lie straight to my face. I'm like, WTF is wrong with you? We both knew he was a damn liar.

    Know this, NOTHING is wrong with you. Nothing. We SOs can sometimes get a bit obsessed with trying to catch them because it gives us a sense of control over a situation in which we have no control over. And that's normal and okay, to a point. It's the natural process as we learn to navigate this new life we have found ourselves in. Suddenly our worlds have been turned upside down and all we want is a bit of control over things.

    Now take a deep breath and step back for a minute. You are going to drive yourself crazy. This isn't healthy for you. What you have to do is decide where the line is and draw it. What are you willing to put up with and what are you not? Give it real consequences and stick to them. If the line has been crossed, follow through and do not back down. This is your control.

    This new life that we are suddenly thrown into when we find out we are with a PA isn't fair but we have to learn how to live in it. You are in the right place. We are all here for you.
     
    EyesWideOpen, Sep 24, 2017
    EyesWideOpen, Sep 24, 2017
    #2
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13, Deleted Account and anewhope like this.
  3. Sep 24, 2017 #3
    Broken_hearted

    Broken_hearted Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for being here, it really means a lot! Im her on a forum on the internet... which, normally I'd never do (Not that that's an issue.) However, he is on the Internet and PMO ing while I am the ONLY ONE who WORKS, I thought the video games and the lack of motivation was an issue... NOW, I SEE! PMI the whole time! The EX GIRLFRIEND thing cut rt deep and still sting horribly. This is a ;nightmare. We actually have a newborn of 2 and a half months. Unmarried couple. I wish I could be better with handling my emotions. I feel the need to stalk and watch his every movement. This is ridiculous!
     
    Broken_hearted, Sep 24, 2017
    Broken_hearted, Sep 24, 2017
    #3
  4. Sep 24, 2017 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Look into Betrayal Trauma and Sex/porn induced PTSD. It's REAL! We feel like we're in a war zone with this addiction and the betrayal we feel. I got so bad, I was shaking and having palpitations 24/7 before I finally succumbed to meds for anxiety/depression (SSRIs). I NEVER thought I would get depressed or need that kind of medication in my life. NEVER! Now I do... After 6 months of this hell, I am still getting triggered and snoop around his devices many times per week. He knows that, because, well, he gave me access to them, and I sometimes talk to him about stuff I find and/or find questionable or need explanations. Yes, you being a police officer is NORMAL, but very unwanted. I can relate.
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 24, 2017
    Deleted Account, Sep 24, 2017
    #4
    Wife2005 likes this.

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