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What is real sex?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Robinwithai, Mar 20, 2018.

  1. Robinwithai

    Robinwithai Fapstronaut

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    I am very curious about sex. It's the main reason I'm trying to stop porn. Wierd I know. I am a 21 year old male virgin and want to wait till marriage. But I have a question. What does normal sex consist of? Is there any overlap between the sexual acts and position of porn and real sex? Is it possible to have hours of sex or is it just like 10min? I feel a bit ashamed to be asking these questions because my focus should be on my journey of overcoming porn addiction, but I would just like some affirmation that sex is something I can really look forward too?
     
  2. Ineedhelp321

    Ineedhelp321 Fapstronaut

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    To answer your question as best as I can:

    It IS possible to have extended periods of sex, but it won’t all be purely penetration. It’s essentially edging intermixed with a lot of foreplay type stuff. I haven’t been able to do that with my fiancée since we had our son but it was a very bonding time in our relationship, spending hours just exploring each other’s bodies until we both were spent.

    As far as positions go, unless you’re masturbating by thrusting your hips into your hand then there’s very little overlap, I find.
     
    Legendary23 likes this.
  3. JustinX

    JustinX Fapstronaut

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    Main difference for me is psychological. After fapping I feel like a screw up, looser who chose rather easy way that lead to nowhere.
    After sex I feel like a king of the world, I feel accomplishment, fulfillment with myself that I am actually doing great, connection with somebody else, feeling of acceptance. All good feeling that are great for your well-being. This fully applies to hookups and sex with girlfriend. However after sex with prostitutes I dont have these feeling (that's why I don't do it anymore) and that sex and feeling after wards are much more like masturbation. So it depends what kind of sex do you have.

    Generally I last much longer during sex than when I fap. There are several reasons why is it so:
    1. foreplay
    2. trusting in sex is much slower then masturbating, so you last longer
    3. I have some kind of deathgrip so during vaginal sex I last much longer because the pussy is not as tight as my hold in the hand. If I cure 75% of my deathgrip and leave 25% still on that would be ideal for me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2018
  4. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    celibacy makes sense if you really quit pmo. If you don't is just stupid.
     
  5. Legendary23

    Legendary23 Fapstronaut

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    Lololololololololol
     
  6. JamesMC89

    JamesMC89 Fapstronaut

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    It depends. Good point brought up by JustinX about hookups and prostitutes. If you or your partner aren't really into it or not in sink, then yes, sex can be boring and disappointing. Sex is also a compromise with another person, while during PMO you're in control with your hand the whole time. Sex is sweaty, smelly, and can be awkward. That having been said, sex with someone you're interested/in love with is way way way better than PMO could ever be!

    Bottom line: PMO does not bring any intimacy that you get by bonding, kissing, etc and especially cuddling with someone afterwards.
     
  7. Champ OK

    Champ OK Fapstronaut

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    real sex is sweaty. The skin-to-skin contact and the heat it produces throughout the motion can be uncomfortable. That said if you are doing with someone you love and care - these are negligible. The emotional trust, care, confidence that you developed in a non-flaky relationship and etc etc. It helps.
     
  8. Peacemaker270

    Peacemaker270 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly I’ve had sex with two people in my life and fooled around quite a bit with two others. If its a first time thing or still new, i consider it awkward. You’re trying to learn what the other likes and dislikes. It took my wife and i 9 years until i gave her, her first O. First time sex is straight up awkward, don’t know what to say (don’t repeat what they say in porn!!!) i don’t consider it at all close to fapping. It’s much more physical and the endorphin high is even greater. I would say timing is 15 minutes, depending on what foreplay you do. Medications can affect that in some too. Even if you fap a lot, when you first have sex its like 30 seconds or less! At least it was for me, super embarrassing.
     
  9. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    Real sex is one of the most bonding thing you can do with someone you spend extended periods of time with. The intimacy makes it unique. And definitely something you can look forward to. Though if I'm honest with you - and I feel a bit ashamed of doing so because of your premarital abstinence choices - most people don't enjoy it the first few times. I've extremely rarely heard someone say the first time was anything else than "meh, it was ok" at best. The awkardness our fellow Fapstronauts talked about earlier is real, not to mention the sweat and the noises, this can result in some confusion. My point is : don't fret if that's what you encounter at first, get over it, it just gets better, and better, and better :)

    Oh, and compared to the real thing, P is a picture of the delicious cake : you'd rather open the fridge and eat it than only keep the picture.

    I second the statements about foreplay and most people sharing mostly foreplay and then some penetration. My own experience is very different since I have delayed ejaculation (extreme) issues, so going on for hours was always the norm. Unfortunately, extended P viewing didn't help make me realize this wasn't expected and/or enjoyable and/or feasible for most women. The consequence of lasting long is that you have to be creative in positions and switching and playing etc.

    So both those questions about duration and positions are kindda linked, in my perspective. A totally normal (i.e. average) penetration duration doesn't allow for much switching...
     

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