What is excessive?

Please tell me if I'm in the wrong place. I have not stopped masturbating. Actually, it was recommended by my therapist and my wife as a way to live with a "dead bedroom". But do I still qualify as a fapstronaut? I get the impression by the posts that any masturbating is a no no, but in my case I'm allowing myself 3-4 times a week. Is total abstinence required?

 

Most members stop all masturbation during their reboot (including edging). Thereafter, they may or may not masturbate sometimes. So, you are free to masturbate every other day if you think it is not in conflict with your goal(s) to stop porn.

However, the overstimulation of the reward circuit in your brain by using porn, is exacerbated by masturbation. By still jerking off, you will be slowing down your reboot. You will also be experiencing cravings for porn triggered by jerking off.

But it is up to you.

 

That might be cos you are browsing retention forum section...

But generally no, it's porn that is the real problem. It's just that, like IGY said, not masturbating will help you reboot faster. But you can still do it with masturbation, it will just take longer.

Is it excessive? Well, it's hard to draw an objective line tho cos we all are different with different genetics, sex drives, hormonal levels and so on. But I personally define "excessive" as anything more than 3 times a week (assuming one does not has sex, if one does then I would say even one time is excessive). And that is me being generous, ideally you would masturbate once a week or less. There are a lot of benefits to semen retention.

Ask yourself why you are doing it? Do you run and MO because you are so horny physically that you can not hold back from releasing? In which case it is probably ok. Or are you being triggered by compulsive erotic thoughts while not actually being physically horny? Do you use masturbation as a way how to deal with stress or boredom? Is it a just a habit for you and not a need? Do you do it simply because you are attached to pleasure but do not actually have physical need for it? In these cases I would say you probably should not masturbate and wait until there is actually physical need and discomfort from too high arousal before doing it. Just try being mindful and analyse yourself a bit.

 

Proposal: Try it out.
Most of us here noticed several positive side-effects if stopping to masturbate for a period of time. Maybe you´ll be surprised

 

Doing something you have to keep a secret...even once. That is excessive.