What happened? I tell you

Hi im alexhexvans or should i say my real name is Alex Vanzovich, im 18 years old male and i come from little country called Latvia.
So it all begin when i was 12 years old, started to exploring myself and later on i found about pornography.. thats a big dark demon with huge horns that brings a joy in our life, well at least i tought so.. growing up i really become addicted to porn, as far as i can remember i was highly addicted especially around 15-17 years old.. i liked the feeling soo mutch and i tought "damn, i need to get a girl" pretty stupid right? When i was 17 i started to feel numb all over my body.. i didnt know what happened there but my attraction, sex drive and especially libido went so low, that i felt depressed and didnt see any joy in my life.. well it leaded me to suicide toughts.
Im still struggling with this, but once i found out about this NoFap thing and reading other successful storyes i understood that if they can, i can to! My symptoms are:
Self no-confidence
Social anxiety
Low libido
Low sex drive
ED
No motivation
Low energy
Sleepiness
Brain fogged
Feeling that - i dont know
Who iam
I really do hate porn.. i wish i never knew what it is, im not masturbating and im not watching porn.. i think i relapsed after on 13 days streak beacuse i opened porn and watched a bit but i wasnt interested and closed it off, i mean i didnt even watch porn, i mean i watches some girls live on webcam while they were naked.. but still i think i could call that an relapse. Thats why I downloaded an app called "No bate calendar" witch shows me for how many days i havent fapped and theres also motivation texts and everything to make you away from demon (porn)
I hope i will get better, i really want to. Im in relationship with my girlfriend, shes very pretty but im afraid i have to leave her beacuse she always wants to have sex.. its not like i dont want to, but im really into nofap thing now and if it can make my life/my sex life better then im going in with all 100% no matter what.
Thank you