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What do you have the hardest time talking about?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by jfromcr, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. jfromcr

    jfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Guys and Gals,

    This is a survey / self-improvement opportunity.

    I have found in my recovery some areas are harder to discuss than others.

    Ironically, discussing those areas has helped me to stay clean.

    So, please respond with an area of difficulty and why you don't like talking about it.

    From there, we will see if you get some freedom.

    Thanks.
     
    burningmidnight, dude01 and Sailor93 like this.
  2. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    It has always been difficult for me to talk about finding a relationship. This is something I think about a lot but have never discussed with anyone I know. I am not afraid to ask out a girl, and plan to do so for the first time soon when the time is right. I have difficulty talking to others about my true emotions and the emotions I want to experience while in a relationship sex aside.
     
    Deleted Account__3319 likes this.
  3. jfromcr

    jfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing @Mankrik. Sharing emotions can be very difficult, especially when it is difficult to fully understand them.
     
    Mankrik likes this.
  4. Mankrik

    Mankrik Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the support, I am further changing my mindset everyday to improve my approach. I have decided if I like someone I should let them know and not worry about what others may think.
     
  5. My feelings and reasons for them. Cos it makes me feel vulnerable.

    Ok, now what?
     
  6. dude01

    dude01 Fapstronaut

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    the hardest part in the recovery for me,bro the reason why I started fapping. I remember a friend of mine introduced me to porn when I was 13 and as I m on this site I m happy that I can speak about problems. than for that.so as I was saying hardest part if the recovery for me is always been the very reason why I started fapping.. I remember the first time I fapped. I was depressed because some guys tried to beat me but I escaped. I was sitting in my room thinking about myself. thoughts were coming in my mind like why I m so weak(cause physically I was skinny) ,why I m so afraid of ppl ,why I didn't try to stop them then I don't know why my hands just went on my thing and it felt good and I masturbated.. that was the first time I tapped and at that time I felt good and I kept doing it and that bring misery in my life. now I realise I did it because I was depressed . at the again of 21 and going to be if 22 in march 8 years of this wonderfully life I spent on fapping whenever felt the depression I just faped. i could could have good realtions ships with girls as i know they were attrected to my send me proposal that they liked me but masturbation snached everything from my 7 years so now I'm on my recovery mode(hard mode) from 1 st january and I had a streak of 47 days before. trying to eliminate the riot cause that was depression,lake of self confidence ,fear, loneliness and now I m being busy. thanks bro for asking this question I went back to first time so deeply. but good time is ahead and I will become a better version of me. I am giving it my best ya and sorry my English is not good.than again !!!:)
     
    jfromcr likes this.
  7. jfromcr

    jfromcr Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing that vulnerability is difficult for you.

    I read the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It is all about how vulnerability leads to living a fuller life.

    To answer your question, now that you know "feeling vulnerable" is difficult for you - you can address the issue. Find people that you can be vulnerable with. Develop a sense of what feelings expose you the most, and who is the person you are most concerned about showing those feelings.

    There is an opportunity to overcome or heal that part of your life so that PMO is not as much of an outlet for you.
     
  8. kroon007

    kroon007 Fapstronaut

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    The hardest is talking about sex and girls ima boy ink why it is always esier for the others tho.,,sigh ik im lame :(
     
  9. dude01

    dude01 Fapstronaut

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    RU from India ?
     
  10. kroon007

    kroon007 Fapstronaut

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    srilanka
     
  11. burningmidnight

    burningmidnight Fapstronaut

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    The hardest topic to talk about is myself. I often dismissed myself off. I don't think people care about my thoughts, feelings, opinions and other things in my life. I just keep to myself and that is about it. I have gotten better with this, but it is still a long way before I can truly connect with any person.
     
    Matrix Intel likes this.
  12. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

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    I have the hardest time talking about the infrequency of sex between my wife and I. I have a lot of guilt about it, because my PMO use in the past pushed our sex life apart. There's also a macho aspect to me (ego?) that feels ashamed that I'm not able to easily initiate and lead our sex life. I'm doing really great in the other aspects of my reboot, so this is the area I'm focusing on now.
     
    Matrix Intel and burningmidnight like this.
  13. Kennen

    Kennen Fapstronaut

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    In before, I find it hard to talk about gender and preferences...

    But now, I don't have anything to be afraid of. There's always someone who are willing to listen. There are lots of good listeners.
     
    Aiyoshi likes this.
  14. Proceed

    Proceed Fapstronaut

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    Hardest thing for me to talk about is probably my past drug use. It had destroyed my life and when I was getting clean I never found anyone to listen to me except for my friends that were still using drugs. And of course these conversations never went anywhere. Most of my friends are Christians and I seriously doubt any of them would understand, or even listen without freaking out or judging me. I don't know if the fact that they are Christians matters. In any event there is no one in my life right now who I feel like I can open up to about it. But fortunately I am clean now, so maybe it doesn't matter.
     
    Matrix Intel and Aiyoshi like this.
  15. Rikarwb

    Rikarwb Fapstronaut

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    Exactly like me. In the internet, it's different though. ( Usually ) Nobody knows anyone, so we are all at the same "pace". But in real life, I don't see a point on sharing "myself" ( how perverted does that sound :p ), because i just have not found anyone who i can relate a lot. For example, i have a "friend" at school, and we hang out during breaks ( only in school ), but i just cannot open myself enough to him ( pun intended ), because 1. We are not that close 2. I feel like he ignores everything i say ... so i just don't bother.

    Also because i feel ashamed of myself ( to a certain degree ). I'm just not an "average teenager" ( I'm 17 ) ... But it's not like "I don't like who i am", but more like "I'm not like others" ... and, in this age, teenagers are just a bunch of dicks to eachother XD If i say something like "Oh hey, I'm a porn addict" ... hell is broken lose. JUST BECAUSE i started growing my hair out ( I'm a boy ), people started treating me differently, always nagging me to get a hair cut, or calling me a girl, constantly ... So there is literally no point on revealing who i am.

    However, i know who i am. You know who you are. First, we need to know who we are, then we can work on accepting it ... and i guess I'm working on that.
     
    burningmidnight and Aiyoshi like this.
  16. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    If you had a mentor, what would you want him to help you work through? What things do you have difficulty talking about and fixing?
     
  17. The fact that I'm lonely, and bc I am lonely
     
  18. Jonathansierra

    Jonathansierra Fapstronaut

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    I find it hard to talk about myself and who I am as a person. All these years of pmo addiction you just lose yourself and don't bother or care to figure yourself out which is shitty. When always asked "describe yourself" the surface of me said "charismatic, energetic, and joyful." That wasn't the case, truly deep down I was depressed, lonely, sad, guilty.. you name it. I never loved myself to care about and thoroughly think those thoughts and emotions thru. That was what pmo was for. But I feel empowered now and I have a purpose and one day I'll be able to talk about that with confidence and pride!
     
  19. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    The hardest thing I find to talk about is my feelings with others and those who care about me. All my life there have been opportunities for me to talk things out and get the help I needed, but I turned them all down and it's caught up with me and I'm working on making the best version of me.
     
  20. Aklaborer

    Aklaborer Fapstronaut

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    Hardest thing to talk about for me is casual talk. Or small talk. I'm horrible at getting to know new people unless i feel a click with them at the beginning. I get all antisocial where I become as mute as a mime. Eh.

    I also have poor eye contact skills.
     

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