What baffles me the most about relapsing

Do you want to fail? If you know hours before then do something to prevent it. Like running or cold shower or just go out where there is people.

 

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

It might be a good idea to try formalizing a plan or checklist for yourself when you feel a relapse coming on again. If you've committed to doing a distracting activity or have a plan to re-encourage yourself, you stand a better chance.

 

Have you block porn from your phone and computer?

 

Do you think it's because there's not enough pleasure substitute in your life maybe?

 

I know that feeling bro. In these cases you should "plan" the relapse properly. You know you're gonna fail. So fail properly! Don't use porn while you relapse. This way set back isn't as much as it could be. Next step here is to learn from the mistake: You didn't have enough brainpower, and you didn't use that energy, therefore you just went to the stalemate with your urges. Learn why it was a stalemate and next time you'll win that fight. This isn't easy, but you'll get better at this over the time. Overcoming psychological barriers is much harder than it sounds like.

Good luck!

 

Relax man. Just masturbation itself isn't all that bad. If you can do it without porn in a controlled manner, don't feel guilty. Especially if you're not having sex, it means your sexuality wants an escape

 

You're probably learning something anyways, even if you don't realize it. Like how your brain works, how much awareness you have within your conscious thoughts, how much you think you understand what's going on...

To borrow from Inception, they say the most resilient parasite is an idea. I find the hardest thing to do still is to take someone else's advice when I don't see the merit, truthfulness or purpose. And I'm saying even what you believe and know about yourself.

Yet in the past I have taken's others' advice, feeling and "knowing" it was the wrong thing to do, but still doing it because somehow I had reached a point. Actually, mostly it was reverse psychology and victim mode I would use on myself, "it won't work so I'll try it to prove it doesn't work". And yet even now when a similar situation comes up, the good part of me will say "this is exactly like when you didn't think that would work and it did", while the other part will say "no two things are ever alike, this is obviously different".

What I'm trying to say is you might have a resilient idea that still hasn't been replaced or modified. I know I'm not saying anything mind blowing here, except that sometimes wording things or laying them out in long form might help someone have an "aha" moment.

You have that feeling that you're going to relapse, you know it, you have that idea that's proven to be true time and time again. Fuck that feeling, disappoint that feeling, don't relapse.

Good luck to you, my metalli-friend.