What about hand-jobs or blow-jobs? Do I need to reset my PMO tracker?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by drayd97, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. drayd97

    drayd97 New Fapstronaut

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    I was wondering if a girl or boy for the ladies, were to give you a hand-job or blow-job. Does that count as fapping, sort of? I was wondering because it's not sex, so if this were to happen to me, do I need to reset my PMO tracker
     
  2. fedex575

    fedex575 Fapstronaut

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    Hello!

    I am a newbie as well, so I would encourage you to take opinions of veteran fapstranauts as well.

    Ultimately, we undertake the nofap exercise so we can get rid of our self-defeating PMO habits and live our life in a more fulfilling way. If you and your significant other, or not-so-significant-but-still-has-potential want to fool around a little bit, and express your desires towards each other, that should be okay I think.

    I had sex with my wife after starting nofap, and I refuse to reset my counter :p.

    Unless, of course, you have a very strong reason to be on a hard mode. Then remind yourself of the reasons why started this to begin with and then choose accordingly.

    I started nofap just a little less than a week ago. In my case, I enjoyed a healthy sex life with my wife even though I was a PMO addict (yes, addiction is the appropriate term in my case) for the last 10 years. My addiction got worse hen my relationship hit a road block. Getting a promotion at my work place and getting an office room did not help at all. I started moving to more and more extreme porn and internet communities. And even in real life, I had done things I am not proud of. In spite of me being disgusted with myself, I couldn't stop.

    If my increasing affinity towards more extreme stuff was one problem, there were a couple of other major factors that motivated me to take up nofap. One, I am done and disgusted with wasting precious time for pixels. As my college roommate once said (which I regret not taking to heart): "People who do porn are so unemp!". I am also done with self pleasure. When I look back at my life and think about when I was really happy, it always included pleasant company.

    The other reason (which freaked me out even more) was that I started having delayed ejaculation consistently for like 4 times in a row. I had this problem when I did excessive PMO in the past 10 years, but the occurrence was very rare (two or three times in my 10 year PMO stint).

    All round sucking of life and an accumulated years of shame were the reasons I chose nofap: wasting time in the office, being too tired to spend time with family, getting the feeling that all my peers putting me to shame in terms of their exuberant approach to life pushed me to find answers. Luckily I stumbled on YBOP and nofap.org. For the first time I thought I found a group of people who understood my issue, unlike other internet communities which would laugh at ideas such as porn addiction.

    I apologize for the rant! Anyway, for me, my reasons were clear. I wanted a better life and having sex with my wife is okay for me. I would encourage you to review your reasons for the challenge and then think about the counter.

    Good Luck!
     
    Actavius likes this.
  3. Nikantor22

    Nikantor22 Fapstronaut

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    Generally, I think you'd recover faster if you went on hard mode. However, I've read a good amount about the value of intimacy and touch as you're recovering, so I don't think it's an open and shut case. If you have to fantasize during, well, that would be harmful. But otherwise I think there are some positive benefits to it, and I don't think it's going to hurt you much, if any at all, as long as you're not making your own porno in your head.
     
  4. Angriff

    Angriff Fapstronaut

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    Blow job isn't sex?
     
  5. slipsonic

    slipsonic Fapstronaut

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    Personally, the reason I joined Nofap was to improve me and my GFs sex life. I just didnt feel the drive to really connect with her, and I think she could sense that, which caused her to lose desire as well. Apparently its working because this weekend I could see that there was a new level of deep attraction and (not trying to brag lol) we did the deed 3 times! I feel like improving my attraction and motivation with REAL women and in effect my chances with them is one of my main goals with Nofap. I also think that having an O with another person doesnt have the damaging effects that PMO does. So of course Im not going to reset my counter anytime I get busy with my GF, to me that means Nofap success.
     
    ConMan likes this.

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