Wet dreams are killing me

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ray Breslin, Jun 26, 2015.

  1. Neeryimwey

    Neeryimwey Fapstronaut

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    Dont you guys think its perfectly normal that for example your subconsciousness takes over while rebooting? The whole rebooting thing is about quitting porn to get your Satisfaction level to normal again - why so much worrys about absolutely normal psychological effects like wet dreams ( or dreams in General)?

    The whole process of rebooting may get harder beeing threatened time by time by wer dreams , i get that, but in the end its just about the discipline of one.

    OP you must not over-complicate things. Watching porn like there is no tomorrow isnt normal, but having a rich dream life is. Stay calm :)
     
  2. MJH

    MJH New Fapstronaut

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    This is my first post here.
    I'm 30 and have had issues with pron on and off since I was 4 years old.
    The wet dreams started when I joined SLAA and gave up the addiction about 4 years ago.
    They started gradually then increased to around 3 a week by spring just gone.
    Yes they are very debilitating and depressing.
    I managed to get them under control as follows:
    1. Find a sexual body worker. Eg Taoist or other energy worker. I can introduce you if you PM me. There are exercises I perform before sleep which can keep them at bay for up to 3 weeks.
    2. Watch carefully your diet. Stimulants like caffeine, sugar, chocolate, spicy / fatty food make them more likely. Beware cycles of exhaustion & stimulants.
    3. Learn triggers. For me, being around family, authority figures, decision makers, sexual partners increase their likelihood and I have to be careful to do 1&2 or I'll likely have a release.
    4. Celebrate sexuality. Keep an eye out for 'repression' - trying to cut off or ignore sexual need is likely to lead to more wet dreams; an attitude of 'healthy expression' however can get the balance set up.
    5. Speak your mind; keep your mouth open, communicate, share. If you find this hard perhaps look up NVC or call friends you can chat to freely. If I start to go quiet then it sets me on the path to the pron dreams.

    Hope this helps. The baths / kegel / lucid dreaming never did for me. PM me if you need to; copy and paste this elsewhere if u want.

    MJH
     
  3. MJH

    MJH New Fapstronaut

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    PS for those who say relax, it's natural - I'm in the performing arts. When I have a wet dream I lose stage presence, creative stamina, vocal power, ability to keep time, ability to set up / scout for leads in the industry, as well as sleep deprivation and a tendency to become reliant on stimulants. I found the frequent posts on forums telling other men not to worry frustrating, as I needed practical advice to re-balance my sexual output.
     
  4. irock

    irock Fapstronaut

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    I can so relate to you bro that wet dreams soaks energy and sets you back mentally. Even I have wet dreams about every 10 days and so far i think on average, to fully recover from a WD it takes you five to six days. Sometimes a full week and then you start to feel amazing again, back at the track. But you don't even last a week before having a wd again so you may not feel the benifits at all. I can't suggest you anything that will probably work because even I have not find anything. As true lucid suggest you can try lucid dreaming, it is hard for me though. But i will wish you luck and do PM me if you find something that would work
     
  5. Daijimbo

    Daijimbo Fapstronaut

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    same over here , i got wet dream at day 27 ( hardmode ) ...
    not about porn , but about a girl that i want to see ^_^ ., also i take cold shower , and i resist to temptation before sleep ! ( i think its because of this , that i have weet dream )

    Like all of you guy , i was sad to have this wet dream ( for me it was like ''i fail'' the challenge ) ... but its not so simple ... i think i will try until 90day ( and maybe more 120 day ) to ''clear mi mind ''
    Because if i do the nopfap challenge ... dont watch porn but ''think about sexy , sexual activity (not porn , but sexy think like kissing or other stuff ) in mi mind .... it dosnt make sens for me !!!!! ( and maybe because of it , i do some wet dream ? ) ....

    and after mi reboot , i can thing about this , and masturbate !! ( but not like an addiction , because if u masturbate to much its also an addiction like PORN ... )

    :D
     
  6. John Nixon

    John Nixon Fapstronaut

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    I know it's hard mate. I have personally tried really hard to stop myself from masturbating twice in my lifetime. See how long I could last, it was less than 4 weeks. What made me give up NoFap were the wet dreams I had. You have persevered through so many wet dreams in the past and kept going. Kudos to you bro, well done I must say. Good luck towards your future No Fapping streaks mate.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2016
  7. Wilhelm II

    Wilhelm II Fapstronaut

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    Wet dreams is certainly a natural thing. I had them maybe twice a month before I fell into PMO. After that, the stuff they are made from, so to speak, disappeared. After that they became a problemn to me, when I time and time again tried to quit PMO. After a period of 30 to 90 days without PMO, I got a wet dream, and after that the urge for more satisfaction generally was too strong to withstand :(

    Later I have experienced wet dreams not followed by the same daytime urge for PMO.

    In the old days wet dreams felt inspiring and good. They were solely about non-sexual things, but about feelings of happiness and exitement. After having been in the grasp of PMO for some years, they changed more in a sexualized direction.

    I thought all men after puberty had wet dreams if they did not have sex or mastrubate, but the posts here indicate that I have to reconsider that.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2016
  8. bodigura

    bodigura Fapstronaut

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    your machine is so productive, i am jealous of you.... maybe you should do a workout and hope the protein become muscles instead become a magical fluid
     
  9. franco216

    franco216 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe, like others indicated, the wet dreams are caused by your strong libido. And I guess people with strong libido generally have a more hard time to reboot in hard mode. It doesn't apply to me, and thus I can't speak from experience. But in other areas when my self-discipline doesn't seem strong enough, I more or less adapt my goals in a way that I can still improve but don't try the impossible.

    Abstaining from PMO and completely getting rid of wet dreams seems like a good long-term goal. If that's out of reach for now, maybe try to compromise and set a goal that still is an improvement but more realistic at the same time.

    For me personally, wet dreams are similar to fantasy in that both are not triggered by actual porn use but can hit you and drag you down any point in time. Wet dreams again are special in that I seemingly don't have any control whatsoever over them, whereas fantasy is something I can avoid by seeking distraction.

    To be honest though, even avoiding fantasy which is arguably easier than avoiding wet dreams, seems like an impossible task to me. Once I'm in a situation where I have erotic images in my head, I can do superficial measures to fight the symptoms ... but I feel much more comfortable when I don't have to fight fantasy at all. Therefore I tried to figure out what causes this fantasy temptation and all I know that there are good times and bad times and that I don't have any control over that yet.

    So in your situation I would do this

    1. Indeed relax and observe, but don't give up on your long-term goal of "no wet dreams"
    2. Don't be hard on yourself. Obviously you don't have your dreams under control, so trying to fight them could turn out exhausting and counterproductive.
    3. Try to figure out what kind of state you're in when you're having a lot of wet dreams. Maybe the problem starts already while you're still active and awake.
    4. Maybe try to find out what you can do to improve the quality of your sleep. I often have whet dreams when I'm half awake and not really sleeping well.
    5. Try work-outs, jogging, cold shower (see below), a rigid sleeping schedule (you sleep during afternoons?), meditation, breathing techniques, and find out what works.
    Regarding the cold showers: When I have a cold shower I never wet my head to prevent cooling down too much and catch a cold, which would otherwise be a problem.
     
  10. Star Lord

    Star Lord Fapstronaut

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    @Ray Breslin

    Great avatar analogy of breaking free from evil/darkness.
    Spider-Man out of venom, very gooood
     
  11. SomeAussieGuy

    SomeAussieGuy New Fapstronaut

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    Hey man ive read that what ur having is actually pretty bad... im havinf the same shit (vision foggy, cant focus, passing out feeling) luckily there is a natural herbal therapy:

    NF cure
    +
    M-40 capsules

    The two of these together are not drugs they r just capsules comprised of plant nutrients that increase your testerone allowing u to control and completely remove wetdreams (takes like 2-4 months though sorry).
    Anyway im NOT speaking from hands on experience. I cant provide the links because this website is preventing me. BUT google these two things and ull find the information i found VERY INFORMATIVE.
     
  12. Doupleastronaut

    Doupleastronaut Fapstronaut

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    if you increase testosterone.
    also increases libido (and wet dreams)?
     
  13. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    I think the post was just an ad, don't worry about it. [​IMG] I'm surprised it wasn't removed, it's probably because it doesn't seem bot-like.
     
    Doupleastronaut likes this.
  14. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    The Complete Guide

    Background info:

    When you're asleep your rational brain actually gets shut almost entirely off. You cannot make rational decisions while asleep. This is why you do stuff in dreams you never would in real life, stuff that would land you in jail, massive social shame or dead. You wouldn't hold someone responsible for committing a crime or offense in a dream no matter how heinous, because not only is there no victim but there was no way you could've stopped yourself. My own theory is that we evolved to actively do or experience the worst outcomes in dreams to learn from first person experiences; I know that bad actions in dreams have helped strengthen my resolve to avoid a harmful action. Not only is it not your fault what you do during dreams, its healthy and expected that you'll sometimes make the wrong decision in a dream.

    While you were sleeping:
    No matter what you saw or participated in during the dream, feel zero shame for doing it. You truly had no choice at the time; it only felt like you had a choice. Shame pushes towards depression which pushes towards relapse, which is exactly what you must not do.

    When you wake:
    1. Once you are awake, if you are not over the edge already, you must refrain from the urge to finish off, because you are once again responsible for your actions. If you cause yourself to go over the edge (without a consenting adult partner) while awake, that means you performed an MO, which is a relapse, period. You would have to start over if you did that, so do not do it.
    2. If you wake up and you're already over the edge, do not try to stop it. As far as you know in that moment, the body has its own reasons, like cleansing out the system, for sending you over the edge while you were asleep. You shouldn't try pinching that off anymore than you would half way through urination--it's not healthy. Remember, MO is in that order. If you're already in O when you wake up, then it's not actually an MO anyway. So if you wake up over the edge, don't worry be happy and finish off guilt free to make sure the body gets itself fully cleansed so it doesn't happen again soon: it's not an MO.
    3. If you wake up long after, obviously you should not feel any guilt for that.
    The morning after:
    1. Remember, you're absolutely fine on your commitment as long as you kept to the advice above; however, that doesn't stop your body from thinking you've relapsed. The day after one of these is much harder than other days, just like an actual relapse. So write it down if you have to: you did not relapse, and make sure to focus all the more today to prevent today from becoming a relapse.
    2. While it's not within your control at all during the dream, quite often these are the direct result of your own slippin' the previous day. It's still not a relapse, but it's often a massive red flag telling you just how close you were. Review and correct your behavior accordingly.
    3. No shame sleeping on a towel
    Prevention:
    Prevention is the last item because it's not actually something to be ashamed of as long as you take the precautions above.
    1. If you want to prevent these occurrences, you're already doing the first step from going on hard mode and your body should adjust within the first several weeks.
    2. The second step is to even more actively avoid any and all lewd images, they are almost everywhere. So look away instantly, shut your eyes, plug your ears, and chant your mantra until it blocks out all other thought if you have to(mine is the set minimum date I'm going until; works great). As a general advice, almost all of this takes place within individual mind battles with the animal, lasting ONLY 2-20 seconds. Never view these battles collectively (except in hindsight), but only as one 2-20 second battle right here in this moment. Make sure never to flee these battles but fight boldly until you have annihilated the animal and feasted upon its mangled corpse; otherwise the animal will have that little bit of extra strength in the next battle, which you should never be thinking about, remember?
    3. Third, make sure to go to bed wearing underwear and even pajama pants for extra safety, if it's not too hot: involuntary movements during sleep and interaction with bedding often trigger these.
    4. Else, see a doctor.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
    Dizzy Lotus and FX-05 like this.
  15. Doupleastronaut

    Doupleastronaut Fapstronaut

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    always say during the day: "I don't have to have orgasms".
    maybe it can be useful
     

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