Went to a prostitute as a virgin but...

Yea, but sex you can buy. Being loved you can't.

 

Yeah, agree with Tess here, I was a virgin (for religious reasons) until I got married at age 25 and so so glad I waited. Unfortunately, I had plenty of hand jobs and some blow jobs peppered in here and there before I got married, by a former girlfriend, which I disclosed to my then fiancee. WTH - did I just say that blow jobs were unfortunate??? And yep, it was potentially a deal breaker for her, because she had no sexual contact before marriage. I was the experienced one, lol. From my perspective, just rushing out to anyone that's not at least a girlfriend or wife for sex MAY result in some later regret. For me, personally, If I was even 30, yep, sure, it's gonna make you anxious, but once you've done the deed, there's no going back... Just something to think about. You can't undo your first sexual experience. It's lost "innocence", in a sense. And, trust me, there's many women that will find that "innocence" extremely appealing. From my perspective, if I had to go back in time, being sexually involved before marriage was a huge mistake, but then so was marrying my first wife.

Just think about it this way - would you look at a woman that's a virgin as appealing??? I sure would! Even though I'm divorced, fooling around with girlfriends can be a real problem for my next wife, because I've now had sex with multiple partners... And just think if you were to get married someday... Are you gonna be upfront and honest with her about your previous sexual experiences? And would you actually tell her you've been with a prostitute? Something to take into serious consideration... Not to mention the potential for STDs including hepatitus, which I think you can easily get from blow jobs without protection... Yikes!

My opinion - embrace your virginity - and tell any future girlfriends you're a virgin, but be very careful not to "advertise" that - you may attract some warped sexual predators that want to *take* your virginity. Just some advice from an old, wise dude that's been around for a while that's had some experiences/mistakes, aka learning opportunities...

 

Yeah. Let's take that "1000 movies to see before you die" list. The movies on it are probably worthy experiences, or else they shouldn't be on the list. If you have the opportunity to watch one of them with friends or family: great! Watch the film and mentally cross it off the list, also having a good time socially.
However, if there's a movie you don't get to watching, or even if there are 973 of those 1000 movies you don't get to watching... your life isn't any less successful. The movies are nice to watch. But you won't be subordinated if you haven't watched them. And once, in the future, you might find some people who'd also want to watch the movie. Do so! Have fun!
But until then... don't worry about it so much! The list isn't important, it's the experiences that come with it that are!
Don't spend your nights binging movies from the list on your own, or with someone you actually don't really like... Save them! Because once, you might in fact find somebody to watch them with. And else... you're not missing a lot.
When I think back to a movie, I think back to the setting and environment I watched it in. I'm glad I watched most with friends or family, as the experiences are much more fun to look back on than if I would've watched them on my own, on a lonely evening.

Is that good enough of an analogy for you? You started it.

 

I have never been in a relationship before and still have never kissed and am still a virgin. However after nofap I believe very strongly in forming a meaningful relationship that goes beyond sex. Obviously easier said than done, but that is my goal and what I have determined to be the greatest form of happiness and sexual satisfaction despite being very inexperienced. Meaningless sex especially for your first time will leave you feeling regretful and hollow inside. You made the right decision and should be very proud. good luck in finding real love and experiencing passionate sex with someone you really care about.

 

Mh, okay, I think we have somewhat different opinions about sexuality and virginity. I don't really see multiple partners as something problematic. Hell, I might not even be opposed to someone having other sexual partners while being in a relationship with me. So "saving yourself" for someone doesn't really have any value for me and thus I'm not really proud in that sense of my virginity.

You're one of few people who ever took one of my analogies, understood it (mostly) and turned it around in a way that made me think...
I say "mostly" because my argument wasn't really that one has to see all 1000 movies but one might want to. So obviously, watching the DVD with some friends is the best option but if you don't have the DVD (let's ignore Netflix for sake of argument) and none of your friends want to see the movie with you, would you rather die without having seen it or pay for a movie ticket? I think the misunderstanding I generally encounter is that people assume I'm choosing between "paid sex now" and "loving sex later" but actually, it's "paid sex eventually" or "no sex ever". That's my point: I'd rather pay for sex just so I know what it feels like rather than never experiencing it at all. And even if I'm really not missing a lot, I'd rather be able to say "Yea, those people were right, this wasn't so amazing" than wasting one of my last living thoughts with "I wonder what it would have felt like..."
You're assuming I don't want to wait to have sex. And under that assumption, your argumentation is really solid and makes a lot of sense. But the option you're suggesting is not available for me.

With that said, I feel bad for hijacking this tread. If you want to continue this discussion, maybe we should move to a new thread, PM or revive this old thread I started about a similar topic. Or maybe this one.

 

Years ago my father was in a story telling group, and he had a story he liked to tell about making love. In it after shocking his teenage grandson by telling him that he and Grandma had just been making love, he went on to explain what he meant. Making love wasn't sex, it was doing something for somebody else that resulted in there being more love than before. It meant sacrificing time or energy in showing love. Grampa then went on to tell some of the incidences when he and his wife had made love, sacrificially working together to help someone else or by helping each other, like his changing the baby's diaper in the middle of the night so his wife could keep sleeping.
I do not know why we use the term, "making love" to describe the sexual act. Sometimes it does build more love, but, too often, it takes more than it gives. Even though the sex felt good, afterwards, we may not feel as close as we had before.
If you want to make love, you create it by doing for others, by sacrificially meeting their needs and enjoying it, especially if the diaper is really messy. Showing (making) love leads to feelings of love that can lead to a relationship where you can make love in a way you can't yet get out of your mind.