We First Make Our Habits Then Our Habits Make Us - My Journal

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by bbchadi, May 31, 2019.

  1. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    My Decision:
    • On March 29, 2019 I took the decision to change my life to the better through implementing new good habits and eliminating old bad habits.
    • The rule is pretty simple; I’m tackling one habit at a time.
    • Because all the habits are not the same, the time allowed to each one can vary depending on its difficulty, 30 days being the minimum before going to another habit.
    • Once a habit is well established, it will be marked as "implemented", 90 days being the minimum before getting the mark.
    • A habit won't be marked as "implemented" if the number of missed days exceeds 10% of the total number of days. For example, for 90 days reached in a habit, the number of missed days should be 9 days or less in order to be marked as "implemented". If that's not the case, I should keep on until it gets to 10% or lower.
    • I will be reporting about my journey here every day; struggles, successes, feelings, etc.
    Habits Overview:
    1. Daily Intermittent Fasting (91 days so far on June 28, 2019) / Starting date: March 29, 2019 / Missed days: 20 - CANCELLED
    2. Morning Cold Showers (74 days so far) / Starting date: May 06, 2019 / Missed days: 05 - ONGOING
    3. Quitting Refined Sugar (19 days so far) / Starting date: July 01, 2019 / Missed days: 00 - ONGOING
    4. Morning Workout - ON HOLD
    5. Quitting Porn - ON HOLD
    6. Quitting Compulsive Masturbation - ON HOLD
    7. Quitting Daydreaming - ON HOLD
    8. ...
     
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2019 at 11:21 AM
  2. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

    600
    10,098
    123
    My Journal
    Wow, great way to improve yourself!

    You must have a lot of courage, lmao. I don't even have the courage to say "Hi." to my crush.

    Thank you for sharing this with us... I've tried cold showers. They make me feel like I'm in the Arctic, stranded.

    You're really strong!
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  3. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut


    I like your spirit. I saw an article that convinced me to change as many things as I needed to or wanted to simultaneously. I was impressed by the science and felt it’s a good topic for your perusal.
    https://www.developgoodhabits.com/multiple-habits/
     
    Robinthehood and bbchadi like this.
  4. Greenblanket

    Greenblanket Fapstronaut

    16
    21
    3
    Nice approach. But have you considered stopping with pmo all together? It usually makes it much easier to stay away from porn or masturbation or orgasm individually.
     
    Robinthehood and bbchadi like this.
  5. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    Hello llortaton, I hope you're doing great buddy!

    Thank you for your encouragement! I think it's more about discipline and consistency than about courage. Building habits requires breaking them down to small daily repetitive tasks. In my experience, the daily task itself isn't that hard. What is intimidating, however, is the ability to stick with it for long periods of time!

    Regarding Cold Showers, I think I was lucky to be born in a country with mild to hot weather hahaha.

    Stay strong!
     
    Informius likes this.
  6. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    Hi need4realchg, how are you?

    Thank you for the article; pretty interesting insights especially about the mini-habits and neural pathway strengthening. However, I don't think I'm a multi-habits person. I know some people that can do it, but it's just not for me. I tried it many times and fell short, so I decided to change the perspective.

    Have a good day!
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  7. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    Howdy, Greenblanket. How are you today?

    I tried to stop PMO all at once but failed. I failed big and hard. After more than 2 years of trail and error, I've decided to change the way I'm doing things. I will start by tackling porn, since it's the black beast in my life. Meanwhile, I'll allow myself to masturbate every now and then to release tension (sex is not an option for the moment). Once I feel porn was left behind, I'll tackle my masturbation-related compulsive behaviors. I hope this works.

    Best of luck in all your undertakings!
     
  8. Greenblanket

    Greenblanket Fapstronaut

    16
    21
    3
    Im doing good, thanks.
    Hey whatever works for you man. I understand your reasoning behind it. I salute you for keep on trying.
    Getting rid of porn right now will be a great start.

    Best of luck to you too!
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  9. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    DAY 62 of my life-bettering journey: Thursday, May 30, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (62 days so far):
    Still on track. I did dry-fasting (no food, no water) for about 16 hours today. I had no urge whatsoever.

    Morning Cold Showers (24 days so far):
    Today's shower was so refreshing as the weather is getting hot these days. I feel refreshed, clean and smell good. All great.

    Quitting Porn (00 days so far): I'm totally aware that eliminating this bad habit won't be as easy as the other ones. Porn has ruined my life. However, I think I have enough knowledge and experience to beat it. This time, I choose to focus all my energy on porn without worrying about masturbation or orgasm. After more than two years of trying to tackle PMO all at once, I decided to change the strategy.
     
    Informius and need4realchg like this.
  10. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    I got you bro. I was blown away that the science shows the more new habits you try at once the higher the success rate. One doc said the “confusion” that’s created neurologically when making new habits helps the brain make new pathways. Which now as I apply that to pa , I am doing as many changes as I need and want. The gray matter regenerates for addicts after 26 weeks this one article talked about. Fascinating stuff. Makes me realize I’m in it to win it !!
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  11. llortaton

    llortaton Fapstronaut

    600
    10,098
    123
    My Journal
    I do agree, but it takes courage to create discipline and consistency! I found a quote that goes like,


    "If you build enough habits, you'll eventually accomplish any goal that you set foward."

    Because, what you practice today, is the habit of tomorrow.
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  12. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Great paragraph, I put it in my motivational stuff collection!


    I like that way, setting a realistic goal that you will achive. Just try to be strict with the P, as this is (in my eyes) the most important!
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  13. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    DAY 63 of my life-bettering journey: Friday, May 31, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (63 days so far):
    Yet another successful day. I feel light and energized during my fasting. The only inconvenient are the temporary cravings, especially when I smell some tasty food. Here the discipline plays a great role.

    Morning Cold Showers (25 days so far):
    Morning showers are automatic. I don't currently do any effort to remind myself to take them. Once I leave my bed, I go to the shower directly.

    Quitting Porn (01 day so far): I had so many urges the first day. The first one stroke when I was deleting porn history from my laptop. It felt like an electric wave flowing through my body, followed by intense imagery from porn memory in my mind. It is strong, because I'm still conditioned. With time, I believe urges will become less and less powerful.
     
  14. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    DAY 64 of my life-bettering journey: Saturday, June 01, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (64 days so far): More than 16 hours fasting. I feel good about it. No struggles.

    Morning Cold Showers (26 days so far): My 26th Cold Shower! All good.

    Quitting Porn (02 days so far): And this is the hardest one. I've had so many urges today and needed to release. I did masturbated but not to porn. I hope that with time my compulsive masturbation behaviors diminish as my mind understands and gets convinced that porn is no longer an option.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2019
    bikinhappy, Informius and eoptda like this.
  15. Informius

    Informius Fapstronaut

    Good work!

    I like your idea and how you post, I think I will implement this in my Log!
    Good luck on quitting porn. I know it's really hard especially the first days without masturbation, it feels like your head can only think about that...
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  16. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    Hi info Let, how are you doing buddy?

    I'm glad you liked it! Because our ability to focus is limited, my only advice to you is to concentrate on a small amount of habits at a time. Don't bombard yourself with things to change all at once so you don't dissipate your focus.

    Best of luck my friend. Be strong!
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2019
    Informius and need4realchg like this.
  17. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    DAY 65 of my life-bettering journey: Sunday, June 02, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (65 days so far): Again, it was easy. My only concern is about a few involuntary changes that I'll undergo in my life in the next few weeks. I'm afraid they upset my fasting system. But I tell myself that life is change and nothing is permanent, so I must find ways to adjust.

    Morning Cold Showers (27 days so far): My shower was delayed by about an hour today. I had some unexpected and urgent tasks to perform right after I woke up. However, I managed to get my share of cold after about 60 minutes! The important thing about habits is not to skip a single day because consistency gives a sense of engagement (even if the habit wasn't performed well or in a timely manner during the day).

    Quitting Porn (03 days so far): I didn't think much about porn today. I wish all days were like today!
     
  18. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    DAY 66 of my life-bettering journey: Monday, June 03, 2019

    Intermittent Fasting (66 days so far): Another day of fasting. No cravings. The only mistake I made is that I ate a lot when I broke my fasting. This is an important point I must be aware of. One of my fasting goals is to restrict calories (especially those coming from junk food). So it doesn't make sense if I keep cramming my stomach after long hours of fasting. It all comes down to awareness and self-control. When I eat, I unfortunately don't pay attention to the food, to the way I'm shewing, to the taste and that's a thing to work on in the future.

    Morning Cold Showers (28 days so far): It was a relatively long cold shower today, for about 8-10 minutes. I usually don't exceed 4-5 minutes under the cold water. So refreshing.

    Quitting Porn (04 days so far): Today, I woke up to an evil dream; one of a female pornstar. I felt intensely impacted by the events when I woke up but I switched my thinking to something else. I had a few urges during the day but nothing too powerful. However, a few minutes before sleeping at night, I caught myself unconsciously searching for videos of sexy women with bikinis or sportswear on YouTube. I locked my phone and slept. Awareness is key.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2019
  19. Your post made me remind of myself a bit.

    I'm working out(calisthenics) every day, started exercising like 4 months ago but 1 month ago it became serious. Quitting sugar and video games was quite easy just as IF(8/16). Started taking cold showers this week after a long break yet still struggle with PMO, can't deny the progress ~3 years ago I've PMO'ed like 3 times per day on average(~1h per session). Right now it's 1-2 per 2 weeks I would say so progress is real yet since I've used to be a real sweet tooth and literal no-life(mmorpgs) and can't comprehend how easy it was to cut those 2 "habits" out of my life yet still struggle with PMO. Maybe I never was truly addicted in the first place to video games and sugar.

    Good luck in your journey, bro.
     
    bbchadi likes this.
  20. bbchadi

    bbchadi Fapstronaut

    73
    31
    33
    Hi S1M0NK, how are you doing my friend?

    Some habits are just easier to quit than others. I guess it depends on the amount of pleasure (and therefore dopamine) experienced with the habit. Just like you, quitting PMO is the biggest struggle of my life. I can take on hard challenges in different areas of my life, yet I feel so week when it comes to the evil habit. That's why I decided to break it down and start with porn as a first step.

    I can tell you're doing pretty good with your habits and I like the way how you tackle things progressively.

    Stay strong buddy!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

Share This Page