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Wanting to buy something for SO...

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by CieroWake, Jul 16, 2018.

  1. Jul 16, 2018 #1
    CieroWake

    CieroWake Fapstronaut

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    Dear all,

    Ive been doing well so far with no PMO. My GF doesnt know about my PMO history and she'll never know I guess.

    Anyways I want to buy her something sexy (lingerie/outfit) to enjoy while we are on holiday. However looking for it might trigger me....How to approach this problem?
     
    CieroWake, Jul 16, 2018
    CieroWake, Jul 16, 2018
    #1
  2. Jul 16, 2018 #2
    souvlakispacestation

    souvlakispacestation Fapstronaut

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    So are you buying this for her to enjoy or for you to enjoy? Like, is this a gift you want to buy her with her interests in mind or with your own interests in mind?
     
    souvlakispacestation, Jul 16, 2018
    souvlakispacestation, Jul 16, 2018
    #2
  3. Jul 16, 2018 #3
    CieroWake

    CieroWake Fapstronaut

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    For us both, she likes to wear it sometimes during sex and I like her in it. Its pretty normal. Its just that I will have to look to all these picture of models wearing the stuff.. I fear I might be triggered
     
    CieroWake, Jul 16, 2018
    CieroWake, Jul 16, 2018
    #3
  4. Jul 16, 2018 #4
    souvlakispacestation

    souvlakispacestation Fapstronaut

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    Are you sure you aren’t trying to make excuses for yourself to look at these things? “P-subs”? Is buying lingerie really worth the risk of relapse?

    Maybe a good middle ground is a piece of jewelry? Doesn’t have to be expensive... or triggering.

    For what it’s worth, if I was aware of any model-less lingerie websites I would tell you.
     
    souvlakispacestation, Jul 16, 2018
    souvlakispacestation, Jul 16, 2018
    #4
  5. Jul 16, 2018 #5
    TheMightyQuinn

    TheMightyQuinn Fapstronaut

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    Why will she never know? What are your reasons for not telling her?

    I don't see how shopping for women's lingerie won't be a trigger. Why don't you let her buy her wardrobe and you focus on the scented candles?

    Can you see how by not telling her you are already boxing yourself in between your secret and your sobriety?

    Peace,
    -Quinn
     
    TheMightyQuinn, Jul 16, 2018
    TheMightyQuinn, Jul 16, 2018
    #5
    Queen_Of_Hearts_13, Numb, Trappist and 2 others like this.

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