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Waiting until Marriage-- The road so far

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Rodrigov600, May 23, 2017.

  1. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Nofap has been the greatest resource i've ever found on the internet. I find myself constantly refreshing the success story page as I fight my own addiction.

    My name is Rodrigo, I am 20 years old and this is my third run at NoFap. I began masturbating when I was 13 years old, but prior to this I would watch porn just for the adrenaline of "Doing something bad"

    I remember my first orgasm, it was a feeling of great pleasure but with it came this intense guilt. At the time I was a very bright student in middle school in the bay area, standing out academically and physically.

    I went from watching porn once every week to finding myself watching it everyday: in my room or my shower, sometimes twice a day which would leave a cramp like feeling in my testicles. It was just so good!

    As time went on, I found myself being less creative, less energetic, the rate at which I talked to girls dropped significantly, and I became less social. I thought all this came with the stereotypical teenager, so I shrugged it off as something normal.

    In High School I suffered from two major traumatic experiences, for which I will not describe in depth to protect those involved. I began abusing alcohol, which my friends used for fun but I used to mitigate my pain. Then came weed, the drug I vowed to never touch and from there I began wiping out most of the small but meaningful memories I had.

    This went on for four years, my grades were mediocre to bad, probably because I wasn't an extreme porn addict I had some energy in me, but I wasn't my full liberated self. I was a captive of pain, a captive of depression and the tolling dopamine of porn. I never had a girlfriend up to this point. A few girls would approach me but I would always be friendzoned because I was too shy or I seemed like I was tagging along.

    I finally graduated, I was 17 and most of my "friends" went out to party and do other social events. I simply went home and sat around doing nothing, and I reallized that at this rate I wasn't going to amount to much. I had conflict at home, my mom would complain and nag that I was a good for nothing, and she was right. I was like an old patient that had to be fed and taken care after because I never had the initative to do anything myself.

    Fast forward to college, I had taken some steps to make myself a better person. After highschool I had gotten a job with my dad, and basically spent my days for a whole year consuming alcohol and weed while playing GTA V. I met someone (Shoutout if you read this post!) in college who pointed me to Nofap in a random conversation. "Take a look at it" He said, and so I did and what I found was what I still can't believe actually exists. It was a poisoned dagger stuck on my side, that slowly aged me to 90 as I became slower and less bright at the early age of 19.

    I noticed that everyone was displaying awesome new traits as a result of defeating PMO, and I honestly focused on that instead of day by day goals. Unfortunately I believe that was my first failure, as 30 days went by and I only became an angry person who would literally rage at the smallest things. At the time I didn't know that meant my brain was in "repair mode" but after that rage I became very neutral. I had some confidence, and I had attracted two girls already of whom I really got interested in me. Unfortunately I was 30 and some days in when the massive urges hit me, I found myself daydreaming about many of the videos so I caved in.

    Right after I caved in I still had a bit of confidence, so I thought maybe the confidence was going to still linger around. Wrong. As time went on and I kept fapping, I noticed that I was more immature, more socially anxious, and more fatigued.

    After a month or so I took the challenge again: This time I lasted 60 days. Unfortunately I did not learn from my mistake from the first run, which to top off I was also using drugs and alcohol again as I couldn't get rid of my trauma so I was once again hopeless and lost in life.

    It wasn't until this year that I let go of all anger and sadness. I wasn't just fighting a PMO battle. I was fighting a battle with my depressed spirit. I had a wake up call, a close hit that threatened my life. I found God and began praying to him and despite being a catholic and attending mass a couple times as well as doing Baptism/First Communion, I never actually felt the prayer ring through my body so deeply.

    After that experience, where my life was threatened and I went straight to God and found a calm never felt before, I started a new goal for my life: I wanted to completely liberate myself from all my addictions that kept me tied like a slave. I started Nofap again, this time until marriage that way once the maximum was reached, I wouldn't feel like my job was done and would keep pushing until the right girl came around.

    Around day 30, I met a girl near my workplace. I had met many girls but this girl was special to me because it was the first girl I actually had anything close with. On our first date she cuddled to my arm in the theater, but my 30 day enslaved-self froze until the small rehab I had under my belt moved my hand on top of hers. On our second date we went picnicking, probably 45 days PMO-free, where I hugged her as we ate then walked along the shoreline at the beach. We sat and watched the sunset, and I sang to her ear as we both sat in my car to escape the cold breeze of the beach. She gave me my first ever kiss haha as I hit a sweet note in the song.

    We went out three more times, our last being in a hotel (I was homeless at the time) where we went to the hotel swimming pool, we showered together, and lastly we cuddled together for what seemed like 10 minutes but turned out to be 3 hours. After that we went shopping and out to get some grub after cuddling, and at last she said goodbye and we hugged. Unfortunately she confessed the next day she was hoping I'd make the next move and make love to her. She was disappointed when I said I wanted to wait until marriage, and she just couldn't stand not doing more so we parted ways.

    It was around day 55 PMO Free, when depression hit me like a truck again as I replayed those memories I had with her, and as I saw the gifts she had given me I went down the drain. But then it struck me: It was 60 days worth of accomplishments. It was 60 days free of alcohol, weed, porn, masturbation and orgasm. It was 60 days of complete love to myself of which got extended to her.

    I went from being that extroverted fun kid at parties, to a soulless teenager who sat all day playing video games/smoking/doing drugs/drinking, to a mature and confident but also fun and extroverted at times guy.

    As a guy who "wasn't going to amount to much" and who consistently believed I was going to die single, I gotta say I'm impressed at the fact I got dumped for rejecting sex. I probably would've leaped at the chance if it was the addicted me, probable would have had ED, and most likely of all I wouldn't have even gotten to that level as I'd trip over my anxiety and fogged mind.

    It's possible guys. Women are conquered by the ear and despite that I only got to that level with that girl, I was only at level 55 (55 days without PMO). I am almost there, I want to be COMPLETELY free and I know it seems impossible at the moment for you but just hang in there. One day at a time, until eventually you start leaving new footprints: New adult and mature footprints that enable you to do better each day.

    As for me, Relapsing is not an option. Relapsing is not on the table. One girl left me because she disagreed with my PMO choices? Another one will take her place who will look after my affection needs, and who will be the winner of the champion I'll be building for her.

    Free yourself. Be the best you can be. It will be tough. You will face hurdles physically and emotionally. Your pants will beg for you to touch it. A girl will tempt you to erase the counter. But ultimately your hands will defeat all those as they smash the shackles that have left you paralyzed all along.

    Stay strong guys, If I can do it you can do it.
     
  2. w95chris

    w95chris Fapstronaut

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    Nice story!I found it very inspirational.I am really glad you found your way to avoid PMO and become a better person this is a story everyone should read and i am serious.I also believe that everything in life is achievable only if you want to have them.So what if a girl did not agree with your choices?Show her the exit door if she cannot respect them because someone out there is waiting for you and you only have to believe in yourself in order to meet that person

    Anyways i wish you the best fellow Fapstronaut and stay strong
     
    Deleted Account, jest and Rodrigov600 like this.
  3. fapstronaut_12

    fapstronaut_12 Fapstronaut

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    Really loved your article....
    Had the same dagger stuck in me too...
    Regret my past...but we got to move on..
     
    Rodrigov600 likes this.
  4. fapstronaut_12

    fapstronaut_12 Fapstronaut

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    This line touched my heart bro. ...
     
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  5. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Aww I'm so glad this is helpful, I sincerely believe that though you may feel alone at times while fighting hand to hand with your addiction, just knowing you gave reinforcements to your fellow nofappers gives you a boost in morale to keep punching everyday.

    Thanks alot guys!
     
    w95chris likes this.
  6. Very motivating. I hope to one day look back at my pmo phase with disgust and move on with my life as a human and not a slave of desires God willing. Thanks on sharing your story
     
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  7. orison

    orison Guest

    you did a good thing for that girl, now she will lose her virginity in some unfounded relationship based on lust, that won't last and then she will wonder why all her relationships don't last and then she will remember you,
    and appreciate purity and the celibate life style.



    sex is for procreation, if your not planning to have a baby you shouldn't do it.
    and even in married life one shouldnt do it as much as it drains our life energy and gets you more babies.
    dating is to create friendships with the opposite sex and see if they are suitable partner for life. but our society is hyper sexualized, and has turned what is supposed to be sacred and intimate is now vulgar andvertising everywhere you go praying on our primitive instincts to sell products or get people hooked on a miserable culture. stay stong, pray and liberate yourself
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 24, 2017
    yukenkai, chastedude, Roar and 2 others like this.
  8. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    You taught that girl a lesson - she doesn't know it yet but when she finally understands it, it'll most likely be too late. You're definitely on the right track and this is a very inspirational story.
     
    Rodrigov600 and orison like this.
  9. Maxo

    Maxo Fapstronaut

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    I wish i was strong as you at that age. Keep good attitude, and pray when hard time come.
    [​IMG]
     
    Rodrigov600 likes this.
  10. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    I don't have any grudges against her, didn't raise my voice or call her any names.

    The day when she wants to right her wrong I will forgive her in a heartbeat but if her place is already taken she will have to understand.

    A big part of changing for the better is learning to be the adult when the next available adult in the problem isn't being one. For those like me who are with Christ, we learn that forgiving and loving is always the way to go.
     
  11. Caped Crusader

    Caped Crusader Fapstronaut

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    Awesome story. You did the right thing!

    When I was 16, I had a girl beg me to have sex with her. My father had instilled within me the idea that sex was for a husband and wife.

    I was a virgin when I married at the age of 27 and we had an awesome honeymoon.
     
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  12. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Well I do hope my life plays out that way, I just finished watching the video attached above and honestly I now 100% feel like I took the right choice.

    It hurts me and pains me to see her lost and gone, as a person who likes to care and help those lost. But at this point either time will make her a better person or she'll ruin her life by losing her virginity to a lust-filled guy.

    Let's pray that things play out for the best for her
     
    orison and jest like this.
  13. Caped Crusader

    Caped Crusader Fapstronaut

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    I have no doubt in my mind that you made the right choice.

    I do pray that she comes to know Jesus and avoids a life of unfulfillmemt.
     
    Rodrigov600 likes this.
  14. orison

    orison Guest

    Great, here's another one for you. To strengthen you and help you detach from what you think might be holly wood love.



    To reminisce on those cute moments you both enjoyed together can be Dangerous as it will reinforce bonding and attachment they will ruin you if you are not aware, if you do not let go and move on... I have gone through similar things and learned to leave it in God's hand as he is the only thing I really desire.

    Stay blessed friend. :emoji_pray:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 25, 2017
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  15. Roar

    Roar Fapstronaut

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    Great read man! Hats off to you. I wish I was as wise as you at your age. Feel wasted a lot of time staying away from God, but not anymore. I have similar goal as you, I will live a celibate life until marriage. I might even push bit further to have sex only to have children. Any woman who doesn't understand this is not the one for me.

    Keep going brother. You inspire us!
     
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  16. Caped Crusader

    Caped Crusader Fapstronaut

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    Sex is a great gift to us and extends beyond just having children.

    Hope you find the right woman to be your wife. It makes all of the difference.
     
    Rodrigov600 likes this.
  17. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    If you have purpose and determination you will attract ladies at all times, you just need to be confident and 100% sure of your decision.

    What I am planning to do is re-evaluate areas of my life where I am uncertain of my opinion, do research on those philosophies and stick to a goal or ultimate way of life. Once that is over with, women will test (all women test) and they will lean on you, push you, and smack your values. If you break, you are not your best being yet. If you get 1000x harder to move from your stance you're the one for her and any girl for that matter.

    I say this because I tested it with the girl and it worked. It's only a matter of pushing ahead in life and continuing to meet women and see which one has my values.

    Google Coach Corey Wayne, I myself had some weak areas that the Coach is pointing out on his videos. Thanks to Nofap I have nothing but desire to do something (getting antsy for not doing anything as yesterday I did pushups at home just for the energy of it)

    So yeah check him out, I HIGHLY recommend it, even if you are already married and just want to surprise your significant other. Make yourself a better person physically, spiritually, and mentally!
     
    orison likes this.
  18. orison

    orison Guest

    Just checked out Coach Corey, videos: Alpha male warrior and "how to get back with an Ex"
    I like what you wrote on strong values, but following this guy is not very healthy in my opinion. and will get you into trouble. I found both videos really bad and pretentious, but that's my conviction they might work superficially, Applying cheap techniques and presentation, will get you seemingly far but won't genuinely tackle your own heart's issues, Relying on anything other than god to guide you is a mistake.

    The act people put on of being alphas eventually crumbles. Most interestingly they put on this act for pursuing women's approval which is exactly contrary to what and alpha is. an obvious double bind.
    Not saying alpha mentality is wrong, men should be strong, They should be strong in and of themselves. Jesus Is the ultimate and truest Alpha there is in Love, spiritual strength, mental strength, bodily strength, emotional strength and soul.

    All else is trendy garbage in my humble opinion. marital advice should be sought out from god.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2017
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  19. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    I do see your point and pushing that as well as the fact he uses vulgar language aside, I like his take on maintaining and keeping relationships. As a guy who came from a family who showed little to no genuine affection, his main goal of relationship coaching is to allow us guys to understand how women communicate their feelings toward us. I must admit, I had no idea how to tell a girl what I was thinking in a way she'd understand it.

    But what I agree with the Coach and what I noticed in my own experience in that to enter a woman's life one must take a bit of risk, so much that eventually it becomes easy to approach anyone for that matter.

    The most important part to me however is not so much on how to approach but how to listen and reciprocate affection. We as men tend to think with logic while women think with emotion. I would find myself butting into her conversation to give her advice, something girls dont understand which they see as controlling, while all I really wanted was to give advice.

    Anywho, I learned new things, God asks that we all get along and what better way to get along if I can speak their language a bit better you know. She or any of the future girls may not be "the one" but each and every single one is a learning process for most of us guys who weren't raised in a household that showed love. My Dad would cause domestic violence and I rarely heard him say "I love you" and is to this day a very reserved man when it comes to affection. I can also say my mom has her downsides too, though they're my parents and they've messed up I still forgive them as I understand where they come from.

    Coach Corey Wayne comes from a similar background, and so do many guys out there, I'm simply putting this out there for those guys like me who may be pumped and ready for a new life, but they still are unprepared for a healthy relationship. Without resources like these, they will most likely jump in to a relationship (like me) fail miserably once, relapse and give up or if they were strong like me they'll give it two or three more shots until they give up on NoFap.

    My take is just don't pick on the aggressive macho like advice from Corey Wayne, SPECIALLY IF YOURE AT A FLATLINE. Take good notes, review your weaknesses at least once a day through your notes and be a better person!

    I may be posting my personal notes here once I am done reading his book and studying his videos.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2017
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  20. I'm glad you found peace in being celibate, but please don't preach it as being the way to live. Everyone lives their own truth.
     
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