Waiting for marriage but fapping?

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Jackb97, May 17, 2019.

  1. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    I don't really understand waiting for Marriage as it is, but waiting for Marriage whilst jerking off to hardcore porn all the time, where is the logic in that?
    Porn seems more sinful than a banging before being wed. I don't care what anyone does so don't get offended I'm just curious.
     
  2. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    You just need to know how to masturbate healthily. /sarc
     
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  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    If I am honest, I wouldn't be here on NoFap I had an SO. I would M thinking about her. I am not religious in any way and I wouldn't probably wait until marriage but I would wait until I am sure she is someone I want to marry.
     
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  4. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Well, even from a non-religious perspective, sex has serious risks that PMO does not. Namely, pregnancy and STDs.

    Even more so than that, sex bonds you with another person in a lot of ways, chemically and emotionally, so having sex with someone you are likely going to break up with, or with whom you're not even in a relationship, is very unwise.

    There are a lot of serious risks to being sexually active that you don't have to worry about by PMOing. Not that I'm advocating for PMO, of course. I think both are harmful in different ways, but personally I would rather risk addiction than an STD/pregnancy with someone who isn't committed to me at all.
     
  5. drac16

    drac16 Fapstronaut

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    Indeed, there is an inconsistency. My understanding of human sexuality is primarily based on the Bible. In Matthew 5 of the Bible, Jesus said that if you look at a woman with lustful intent, then you are committing adultery in your heart. Viewing pornography is a huge problem among those who are single. In a sense, it is selfish, because you are not willing to wait until you are committed [in marriage] to someone, but instead you are using their bodies, which is something that does not belong to you.

    I don't believe that it's beyond repair, though. It is possible for a porn viewer to change. Unfortunately, many women hop around from partner to partner. They don't want to be monogamous, let alone committed. That makes it kind of hard to find a partner because I'm always worried that a girl I'm interested in has had a past of sexual immorality.
     
  6. Whole Marriage ritual dont have logic.
     
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  7. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

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    Marriage was invented first as an financial agreement between families
     
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  8. Fausterity

    Fausterity Fapstronaut

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    Fapping doesn't permanently damage your ability to pair bond like promiscuity does. It does temporarily damage it though.
     
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  9. Wankeroni

    Wankeroni Fapstronaut

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    Well, you're going to be jacking off anyway if you're in a sexless marriage so I guess it's just practice :D *hehe*.

    Newsweek magazine estimates that 15 to 20 percent of couples are in a sexless relationship. Studies show that 10% or less of the married population below age 50 have not had sex in the past year. In addition less than 20% report having sex a few times per year, or even monthly, under the age 40.
     
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  10. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Maybe consider going MGTOW-lite and wear your ballcap backwards.
     
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  11. Reuby

    Reuby Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Not trying to shit on Christianity but the reason there are so many christians on here who can’t kick their addictions but who keep going on about waiting for marriage is because of the way the church has failed when it comes to teaching kids about sex and sexuality. There is a big stigma around it which means people who get addicted to pmo probably have a harder time than non Christians because of all the shame. Also I think the church has made people afraid of dating and relationships as well.
     
  12. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    This is definitely not shitting on Christianity. I'm a Christian, and I am and pretty much every Christian I know totally agree with you. It definitely depends on the denomination though as well. My church definitely preaches that sex is healthy and a beautiful thing in a marriage, but a lot of more strict churches, like Baptist churches for example, are pretty harsh. It's not healthy, in my opinion.
     
  13. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    People are waiting for marriage while jerking off, because it is not easy to stop jerking off. You go down the porn rabbit hole when you are young and stupid and then you can't stop for years. As it was said here before irresponsible sex have different set of associated problems so there is no reason to double your stuggle.

    You totally can enjoy sex in marriage if you are christian (catholic here). To be honest I don't blame the Church or teaching as much as overly puritan and misguided parents who believe in things like "feeling sexual attraction towards others = sin" or "pleasure, especially sexual is inherently bad". I would blame folk beliefs more than anything, also there is osmosis of these between denominations. There are parents who even forbid their kids to have dates. For kid it all look superficial and arbitrary and many of kids from those backgrounds fall of all kinds of things when they gain at least some autonomy. It is bad idea to forbid your kid normal things and claim that it is religiously justified.
     
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  14. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    But where do the views of "overly puritan and misguided parents" originate? It is the church! The Catholic church teaches the doctrine of original sin. Parents are only implementing what their priests have been telling them. It is not healthy. :(
     
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  15. Wankeroni

    Wankeroni Fapstronaut

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    And then, come to find out the priests are getting their fix behind closed doors. With children, with widowed wives, etc. Such hypocrisy, it's disturbing.
     
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  16. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Why did you brought original sin? It has nothing to do with sexual ethics. People often ignore the meaning of original sin and treat it like a myth with no deeper meaning. Original sin is a description of fallen nature of mankind. We have free will and we can choose between good and evil, but we often fail to control our urges, impulses and instincts and we choose evil so often. Look at this community. At all those people who want to stop doing all kinds of destructive things, and they fail again and again and again. This is the reality of original sin, of our fallen nature. It is better to understand this than to lie to yourself that humanity is truly good by nature. It is also not truly evil, just fallen. And you know, the most tragic thing is that most of PMO addicts or drug addicts, alcoholics are good guys. Lots of them know they do wrong, yet we choose to eat the forbidden fruit each day.

    The Church is a giant structure. Ignorant priest or journalist may do lots of harm. Today there is also lots of osmosis between denominations. While Church is strict on issues like pre marital sex, physical love in marriage is beutiful. I think some people are overly protective about their kids, some are misguided, in the era of internet it is easy to stumble upon fakes, some have bad priests or bad religious educators.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
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  17. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    Yes it is. But as long as pope Francis is alive nothing will change, because it was exposed during the Vigano affair that current pope was backed during the conclave by clique of cardinals connected to protecting priests responsible of sexual abuse of clerics and children. The Church is in the greatest crisis since... The Borgias I guess? But I don't think it is a reason to left, it is a reason to do everything to expose and bring justice to abusers.
     
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  18. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut

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    It seemed relevant at the time, but I can see now it isn't. Sorry dude.
     
  19. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    Oh yeah it is. Big time. Alot of people seem willing to turn a blind eye, which is even more disturbing imo.
     
  20. wethebest

    wethebest Fapstronaut

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    So sex outside of marriage is unhealthy and ridden with STDs and unplanned pregnancies, but within marriage its suddenly some healthy and normal entity w less risks?
     

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