Very extreme severe Femdom real life- help

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Aiden5, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    Holy shit, man. All I can say is get the fuck out of there. If you need to stay with a friend or family member until you can get your own place.
     
  2. Max Toulouse

    Max Toulouse Fapstronaut

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    It’s not that I don’t like criticism, in fact, I love criticism when it’s done correctly. The way you’re criticizing is far from productive.

    The problem I have with the way you addressed this guy’s obvious problem is the lack of disregard for his situation and possible emotions he may be dealing with.

    I get that you came from something similar and you needed to come to a harsh realization to get out of it but from my experience with working with hundreds of people on an interpersonal level to try and effect positive change is that condemnation and harsh criticism don’t get very far.

    All it does is fuel your own ego by putting him down and making yourself seem bigger than you really are.

    Good for you for getting out of your situation but instead of being a dick why don’t you offer some consolation and ACTUAL advice or techniques that helped you get out. Not call him names and put him down.

    Also, yes, this is a safehaven. No, it isn’t perfect, but through addressing issues like this we can collectively try to make thia forum a better place for those struggling.
     
    Roady likes this.
  3. Marlon-Brando

    Marlon-Brando Fapstronaut

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    Are you still in that home? This is disgusting. Find a man therapists not a woman!
     
    TIMMY0110 likes this.
  4. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

    There are so many people giving suggestions and trying to help Aiden5. However, I dont think it will ever work. Looking that Aiden5's response, it is as if he is telling us "I know that I am in trouble....But no matter what I do I will never get out of this mess."

    He doesnot have the belief that you can change. The first step to do something is to believe you can do it. Without belief everythingelse is useless
     
  5. anewversion

    anewversion Fapstronaut

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    In a way I agree with some of the points @truthseeker17 makes. I've heard this before from my friends.

    However one thing that @truthseeker17 needs to understand is that a fetish isn't chosen. It chooses you.

    I had a fetish way back since I was like 6 or 7. Well before I knew what it was, well before porn, well before I even sexualized it.

    It was just something magical and even innocent even tho I knew I had to keep it secret.

    This is the part I struggle with. Because I can try to practice nofap etc but then the fetish is still there. Maybe it will soften with time but I doubt it ever truly leaves. It's hard wired in to my brain.

     
    j.89 likes this.
  6. Grifo Caveira

    Grifo Caveira Fapstronaut

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    Look for a MAN therapist, that woman will not help you just rank your money
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.
  7. Grifo Caveira

    Grifo Caveira Fapstronaut

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    Aiden, I have a question no one asked (I think) Do you still watch pornography femdom? If yes, the first step is to stop watching pornography, otherwise you will never leave this life, because you will always be stuck in the femdom
     
    Epic Fight and Roady like this.
  8. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    I keep reading this only to see if @Aiden5 has gotten out.

    I have people who have been taking advantage of my inability to say 'no' when they ask me for money. I have hit bottom. I have many thousands of dollars in credit card debt. I will be years paying it off while having very little money to spend on myself. I have finally started to tell them no, and I will probably change all my phone numbers in order to prevent backsliding.

    There seems to be no way to avoid the need for hitting the bottom. Rock Bottom is what it took for me with alcohol, and it's what it's taken for me with this.

    Good luck Aiden5. I hope that your rock bottom still leaves you with enough of a life to go on with, afterwards.
     
    Roady likes this.
  9. Aiden5

    Aiden5 Fapstronaut

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    Grifo no I do not watch femdom porn. I am not allowed to be on computer and have to check my phone at door when I come home. Not allowed to be on phone or computer ever. At work of course I would not look at porn.
    But i want to reiterate that looking at porn was what caused me to seek this these arrangements in real life
     
  10. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

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    @Aiden5 why don’t you talk through your issues with someone from nofap instead of going to a therapist (the rapist)
     
    j.89 likes this.
  11. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    Do you have a contact number? I would love to talk to you as I'm considering becoming a full time slave for a mistress, one other question if that's not possible, are you getting any sexual gratification?


    If not, could you talk about how it started/changed.

    thanks Aiden
     
  12. Aiden5

    Aiden5 Fapstronaut

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    Grahm i dont advise going down the road of being a live-in or any pursuit of real life situations involving service and slavery. It is a dangerous path.
    I am fully aware not everyone who wishes to explore their fetishes and fantasies will end up like me but why take the chance. You have to understand that you may not find yourself in an unhealthy situation with the first woman, or second, or third, but if you continue to pursue it you may eventually find a woman happy to exploit your weaknesses admd fetish for her own benefit. And if you find yourslef addicted to the high you get from her abuse and control over you, it is very dangerous path. She will use and absue you and take you for eveeything you’ve got my friend. A lot of woman who are into this on a more extreme level are not into mutual respect and will not treat you as an equal. Some have no problem destroyint your life and will get great pleasure in the process of it. Im sure there are people reading this laughing and saying yeah right that would never happen to me. It can and will. People end up in abusive relationships and obsessions with partners all the time despite it being healthy. And also do you think the people here on NoFap ever thought porn would end up consuming there life, causing this many problems, changing there brain chemistry, etc!?!
    Another analogy would be smoking pot... not everyone who tries it gets addicted or gets carried away with it, but there is always a few that do. And the real harm is it a gateway that can lead to other drugs and ultimately drug abuse.
    As far as sexual gratification i dont even know what that is anymore. I have been in 24/7 spiked chastity with hardly any release for years now. And chastity is not a joke either which someone once joked aboit on here. I am in a device made by a company called steelwerks extreme chastity. It is custom made, completely inescapble high grade steel with special screw and keys. No lock to clip off. Anyway my emotions and sexual thoughts are a mess. After being tortured teased and denied real sexual pleasure for years, gratification is not the same for me as it is to a person in a healthy relationship. This parallels the people or here who get PIED from porn! Very similar in that way. Both things cause destruction to normal sexual gratification. And keep in mind in my case fear, real fear and deep dread of threat of extreme torture and punishment interferes with true sexual gratifaction. The pleaaure i get instead is very unhealthy and due to endorphins released from humilation and pain. I hope this is someway helps you to see the danger in all this and not pursue a potentially addictive unhealthy and dangerous lifestyle.
     
  13. TIMMY0110

    TIMMY0110 Fapstronaut

    I agree with Aiden5 on this.

    I have foot fetish and femdom fetish just like you. I do get the insane urge to try out things in real life. However, my rational part of the brain still knows that my life will be destructive if I act out my urges.

    Remember....no matter how tempting things might seem...nothing is worth doing if it is going to destroy your life.

    Just remember that there are thousands of people with femdom fetish just like you (including me). We all are trying to overcome our problem. Lets keep fighting and not give up.
     
    TimeToQuitNow and KenAdams010197 like this.
  14. I_E

    I_E New Fapstronaut

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    I feel with you, Aiden5. Hopefully, you can be inspired by something like this (YouTube code FMgLPjy_66Y) which should move one's higher senses, not the primitive, lustful ones. This saved me today from findom-induced selfdestruction.

    Be at least sure to watch part two!
     
  15. @Aiden5

    You seem to be aware of what is going on here. It will take some time and pain possibly to transition to a lifestyle that enables you to live in a way that benefits yourself and the people around you. But at the end of the day, that transition period might be a year or two, whereas in your whole life you still have probably 50-60-70-80-90 years to go. So like 1-2% of your life you will dedicate to transitioning out of this hell, and into a much better life. That's not that bad.

    You know that this is not a good situation for you to say the least, otherwise you wouldn't be talking to us on here. So in a way by talking to us you have already made the decision to leave, because you are talking to us about how much you want to leave. You will not be happy as long as this situation continues, so you should just leave as soon as possible.

    There is the possibility of going to rehab. This begins and ends with you. None of us can really make you get out of there. I am so sorry that this is happening. There is always hope. Baby steps man. She just wants your money. She cannot take your thoughts and your heart and soul or control your actions. Any kind of life will be better then this. Even living on the streets. There are homeless shelters. There are rehab centers. Just google some in your area. GTFO.

    Patience once you get out. It will be difficult at first with much pain possibly, but eventually the pain will subside and you will be free and making a better life for yourself where you are meeting good people and helping good people and learning good skills and bettering yourself. I would seek a therapist once you get out. Like you said, this is just another form of an abusive relationship.
     
  16. Dogmatico

    Dogmatico Fapstronaut

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    I feel for you man, I hope to go that you will be guided one way out of this. I wish you the best of luck, I have no advice since I haven't been at this stage. But I know it's on the way if I don't do something about it now. I really do hold out hope for you, just know there are people in the world that care about you man. You're better than this, I'd wish you know it.
     
  17. spiridijlqk2

    spiridijlqk2 New Fapstronaut

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    @Aiden5
    Did u manage to get out of there bro?
     
    zaba99 likes this.
  18. aliasghar1378

    aliasghar1378 Fapstronaut

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    its called "training" dear members! !! he has been trained for years and years to become "this". probably she forces him to say (he is nothing without her, or she can't live without her (we all know this isn't true)) there is no difference between training a pet and human, the mechanism is similar .his brain has been trained to think like that!
    so to Aiden i know your feeling what is your life is my fantasy!(unfortunately!) you know in some moment we feel ashamed or guilty or anger sometimes . at that specific moment you need to do something.
    second just believe in God, embrace God even if you don't believe in him .just act as you believe in him and follow the signs! if you think about God as the most powerful and want you to be happy (i say again just think you believe in him without thinking about existence of him) it may give you some courage to do something.
    PS: Aiden's life reminds me Theon Greyjoy and Ramsy Bolton who trained him to think like that!
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  19. Mr.Chips

    Mr.Chips Fapstronaut

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    It takes courage to fight, and start all over again. God is always forgiving, we are always given new opportunity to show up, so why dont we forgive ourselves.
     
  20. zaba99

    zaba99 Fapstronaut

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    @Aiden5
    I know that a lot of peoples will dislike my advice , but it it the most logical one .
    To get over a Drug you need to do it slowly , even as a Femdom addict and BDSM fan i think this women is crazy.
    You are living in the worst situation that can happen in BDSM scene . Take in mind that after some time , months or years she will get married and she will kick you out the house .
    You are already giving her all of your wage , so my advice to you is to search for another Dominant women and you can pay her half of your salary, and keep the half for you and you can arrange the relation with your own rules .
    Maybe it will not solve the problem but it will make you on a better situation , at least you will start saving some money and you can start working to heal from there.
     
    Brown Boy likes this.

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