Very extreme severe Femdom real life- help

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Aiden5, Aug 6, 2017.

  1. Aiden5

    Aiden5 Fapstronaut

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    Does anyone know if there is a section of this website or another website that would be specifically for femdom addiction and fetishes, particularly those that have become part of real life and lifestyle. Without getting into too many details I have developed a rather severe femdom addiction that has escalated to being a full time live in slave/servant to a woman for several years. I am desperate to get out of it as the situation is terrible. I do not want to trigger anyone and I am also thinking my situation is much harder to relate to because it is no just porn and online. I have found very little resources for help and have tried professional therapists who specialize in these addictions but did not have any success. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
     
  2. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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  3. Sever Sava

    Sever Sava Fapstronaut

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    Hi,

    I agree with what sparkywantsnoPMO said. Only suggestion i have is to take it slowly with your female partner and dilute the relation a bit with diffrent kibd of topics like taking with her about her struggle and how she sees herself when she does this? What does she think about you? Also ask her how would discribe you to a woman that likes you and would like a relation with you? What she sees in you? How do you help her? How staryed for her this and if ahe tried to get rid of this habbit or drive to hummliate and undermine a man? Why this makes her to feel good? And also do some thought simulation about you having sez with a woman that likes you, lovea you, and you play as equals in relation and during the sexual act.

    I'm at work at the moment, but i would like to talk with you and see how this can be tackled.

    Good luck mate, and don't bracke up sudden but do it in an organised manner on a longer pwriod of time like a mounth or two or more. I think you should clarify more bits before you brake with her.
     
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  4. Aiden5

    Aiden5 Fapstronaut

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    TRIGGER WARNING- please do not read if you are sensitive to femdom and fetish addictions.

    It is a bit difficult to explain but she had given me a choice to either remain in her life as a live-in slave or to never see her again. I can't get myslef to leave as I have strong feelings for her but i am legitamately being used for her benefit and tortured very severely both mentally and physically. Any complaints and I will be forced to leave and never see her again which would devastate me. But she has no interest in me... she dates other men and there is nothing sexual. I have a long list of rules, chores and financial obligations to meet. All my money from work is given to her and I am basically live to clean, work, serve her.... whatever she wants she gets. Any talk back or bad behavior results in very severe whippings, canings, and other punishments. I am in permanent chastity and only taken Out to clean cage, but restrained during this. I am nor allowed to date other woman, not allowed to Leave my room (slave quarters) of house unless working, etc, have responsibilities and deadlines that must be met. I live to serve her. It is not healthy but I can not get myslef to leave. I am also broke due to all my money being given to her. I have nothing saved. I do not know what to do cuase I am stuck with this idea of wanting to her boyfriend. It will never happen. I am just being used. The beatings and whippings are also very real and painful. It may sound like a dream for those with A femdom fetish... it is not. It is really hell. It is humiliating. It is no way to live
     
  5. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    So, if the tables were turned, I think generally anyone would tell a woman in your position, "you are being abused. Run, get free now." Therefore, I think the same prudence applies.

    While I may personally question the morality of such relationships even when done "properly," from what I've read about it, good relationships in this realm take care of the needs of both people. Your needs are not being addressed at all. And if she's not willing to discuss it, that's just not healthy.

    We can all tell you that we think you should run, but you're the only one who can do it, and only if you believe it yourself. The only other thing you can try is to tell her, "I think this has crossed the line into abuse; we need to pause this lifestyle (use the safewords if applicable) and discuss this." If she's not willing to do that, that's a problem.

    If she makes moves to tighten control on you, then I might suggest contacting an abuse hotline.
     
  6. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    It's not always that simple.
    I'm familiar with your situation, actually.
    Do you have a written contract?
     
  7. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    And if you are in the states... He might not be able to.
    He signed up for these conditions.
    As long as he's living within the rules and so is she... It's no go
    (depending on the state)
    The same would apply to females
     
  8. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    If nothing is written or signed, yes, leave.
    And call the cops.
    If you are working under a written consent contract, that date is your best bet.
    Or..... You need to reoffer something to get a new contract.
    Or buy out your contract somehow.
    Or get someone else to "buy your contract out" for you.
    And, a forewarning to all who read this...
    A dom/sub lifestyle IS A REAL thing.
    You get what you sign up for. LITERALLY.
    MAKE SURE it's written crystal clear.
     
  9. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    ^ There is no fucking contract for that kind of shit don't be absurd slavery is illegal. Get a lawyer and sue the fuck out of this bitch.
     
  10. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    https://harvardlawreview.org/2014/12/nonbinding-bondage/
    Here's a Harvard Law review in why since 2015 the law has been taking contracts for BDSM seriously in the eyes of the courts and legal systems in the US.
    Oh, and I found a relatively relatable one on Fifty Shades, because I didn't care to waste my own breath explaining this to you.
    If there is a contract, and I previously quoted in another text where he said a 'written set of rules'
    It Could be a legal format.
    Which is why I said what I said, and now I am done.
     
  11. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    It doesn't matter, Jolie, slavery is illegal. You can make up some bullshit that says murder is legal, but it's still illegal and the bullshit law can be overruled. [As it is there is no law to overrule as there is no law protecting these scumbags and these contracts are used as evidence[instead of their intended purpose to protect them] against these dommes and other scumbags who abuse people]

    I'm not gonna read that whole article as it's huge, but I perused over it.

    ^ That quote is from the link you posted, Jolie. It shows those contracts are not legal and can be used as evidence against the perpetrator.

    @Aiden5 There is no contract that can make slavery or torture legal. Sue the fuck out of this bitch!

    Sorry for the line through I can't seem to get rid of it, lol


    I'll just add even though I bolded it in the quote they can be prosecuted for S/M activities regardless of consent given. They also bring up "sex slave contract" for sex trafficking being used as evidence to support prosecution. The contracts are utter garbage and as stated may be evidence of wrong doing rather than means to get away with a crime.
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2017
  12. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    Again, depending on the state.
    I do agree with you it's bullshit @Themadfapper
    And a lawyer is the best bet.
    Absolutely.
     
  13. sparkywantsnoPMO

    sparkywantsnoPMO NoFap Moderator & Yeoman
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    I respect there may be a contract. (Never knew that was a thing.). I’d still be hopeful that one cannot legally enforce an illegal contract, so then the question would be whether or not the treatment was legal.

    @Jolie thank you for the insight.
     
  14. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    We all had other lives before we ended up here.
    We try to keep them separate, but sometimes you want to help.
     
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  15. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    From what I read on the link Jolie posted according to what was stated on the link those "contracts" are bogus and hold no weight. Crimes are still crimes.

    P.S

    Thanks to whoever removed the line through.

    If this person took all OP's money especially when he may be mentally deranged or in a deranged state. When she abused and apparently tortured him to exacerbate this mentally deranged state and contributed to it.When she used her influence and power over this poor guy to get him to hand over his money. IMO he most certainly has a case to sue her and to have her imprisoned. This is pimping 101 only more demented and malicious.

    Hell if he has been living with her for more than 6 months [ not sure the exact time] they may be common law married? He could sue her that way as well and get half her assets [ not sure how that works either]

    I would talk to several lawyers and get different opinions.
     
  16. Kenzi

    Kenzi Fapstronaut

    #BOOM
    Do it.
     
  17. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    Indeed. Whatever you do, @Aiden5, the general consensus here is that you need to GTFO of this relationship as soon as possible. It's doing nothing but destroying you.
     
  18. Anonymouspanda

    Anonymouspanda Fapstronaut

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    I think the other commentators here dont understand the main issue. Its not like she has chained him down and there is difficulty in him leaving and that she wont let him and so. The guy said above that any complaints or anything will have her leave him and that he is free to leave but to never see her again. Guy has feelings for her that are destructive and mainly because of his addiction that he went for the real thing for years.

    The main problem is this guys will to leave her, if he can be strong enough to leave her because he said he couldnt leave her out of his own choice. I do understand femdom, but this is destructive and she is just using him for money and chores and also to relieve her frustrations on him with beatings and so. You are being a tool, you need to get out of it and leave her for good and never see her again. Thats how you usually get over anyone, cutting off contact. You need to make up a decision and no matter how hard it sounds to even talk to her or for you to leave her, tell her you want to leave now and agree that you wont see her forever. Its not even funny that she used the exact dialogue almost all femdom fiction or videos have, where they say to either leave but never see them again, or to stay forever. Its probably a line that she used because she knows that line usually haa a good effect on people that are into femdom and that it makes them want to not leave them because they become so dependent on the other person. And being in chastity for too long and unfer control of someone makes you more dependent on them. Leave it all, you will definitely get back on your feet once you realize that she wants you for your money and the things and is just manipulatinf you. Femdom is harmful and it usually never ends well in life. Since you are already in chastity for long, i guess masturbating for a while could actually help. Its not too late to leave yet, she has made you dependent on her but you can still get free of it. Be strong and have a strong willpower and leave her asap. Would be preferable if you do so 5-10 days earlier from the day you get paid, so she doesnt ask you for money before leaving else she could say u can leave but after another payment. Save up enough for a 24 hr gym membership or something or just survive out there or find a way and take fhe money and leave on payday
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2017
  19. This is one of the most severe cases I've heard of. Man, get the hell out of this nightmare and reject it forever.
     
  20. PicNick

    PicNick Fapstronaut

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    There is a lot of following discussion on whether there is a written contract. My focus is on these above words of yours. You are more worried about your devastation from leaving her; ergo, its not so much as a legal issue as it is addiction to her. If your addiction is to femdom, you will surely find better ones who will have simpler rules and hopefully a code word to stop. Thats what I get from TV/ movies! I hope that is true. You can work out better terms with anyone if you quit. JUST QUIT. Its very unlikely that you will sue her although I too would encourage you do so, since you seem to think that she is your whole world. If she throws you out, you will make it, don't worry about it. You will come out stronger and find another milder version of her. Just get out of it NOW, this very MOMENT. DO NOT postpone it.

    If your addiction is to her, its a huge mistake in concluding so; rethink, your addiction may be to femdom only and any such dom would do; so just shift out first and then wean yourself out later.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2017

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