Very distressed by triggers/people..

For some reason whenever I see something that is related to hentai/furry porn it's like a scrambler to my brain.
I haven't actually came across images of it lately (I can avoid THAT, at least..), but whenever even the TOPIC is introduced I feel super anxious and scared. I want to handle this normally, because panicking never helps me with this. It makes it stick out in my mind more firmly, makes me more weak to temptation. I wish I could avoid these triggers but it seems wherever I go on Youtube or someplace else on the internet there's always a reminder..whether it be a profile picture or just the mention of it...I feel super upset by it. I wish I could help those people. I wish I could rescue them from the dark pit they've fallen into. Why does this have to happen? People treat porn like it's no big deal..but in reality it's a drug. One that can fuck you up just as bad as crack. I just don't understand why they constantly bring it up or have pictures of it...are they searching for company? Do they seek company in their misery? That would make sense. Humans are fucked up sometimes. We all have our flaws...but this needs to stop. We need to bring an end to this. People making money off of our self-destruction..no better than drug dealers. I want to erase porn from my brain. No one understands but us. The ones that have managed to pull ourselves out of this mess. We are the only ones that could understand.

 

I don't know where you go on the internet, but I never see something that is related to hentai/furry porn on YouTube etc. I suggest you should review your internet usage.

 

I occasionally come across people with profile pictures of hentai/furry porn. Also, I find that a lot of people on twitch.tv make porn references during streams...it's not just a particular stream. It's EVERYWHERE. I wish I could handle these triggers in a more productive way but I usually just end up feeling really upset. I don't want to be thinking about that stuff, because every time I do think about it I end up chasing the thought and wanting to relapse. It's more the fact that the thought makes me feel aroused and excited. THAT scares me.

 

What I am asking is how to deal with the fact that I'm still aroused by these types of thoughts. I'm already trying to avoid the triggers, but sometimes it's just my mind that wanders. Occasionally I will chase the thought and feel aroused and that makes me feel super scared and depressed. Makes me feel like I'm not a normal human being.