Update for my own sanity

Discussion in 'Uncategorized Reboot Logs' started by Mibah.cm, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. Mibah.cm

    Mibah.cm Fapstronaut

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    I went on a 80 day flatline during a sexual relationship with girlfriend, could not get it up, pied, no libido, sexually frustrated and felt incompetent. I’m grateful for my beautiful and understanding gf whom I told this to. On day 83 or so I relapsed twice to porn out of pure fustration and anger. Soon after I started getting erections and libido returned by very little. Got real first blowjob (can’t O yet still) and felt amazing. I relapsed twice again the next day because of the damn chaser effect. Made it 8 days until yesterday where I MO’d but without porn. Took a while and went faster than I should have. I read about someone who masturbated very lightly every other week to cure pied and regain sensitivity. Erections today aren’t what they were because of relapse but I’m hoping they’ll come back tomorrow because I’m hanging with gf again Friday. I’m proud I made it 3 months and hopefully I’ll be the horny, normal, able to ejaculate teen I aspire and should be. I want that for me and my gf. I think that first relapse was beneficial to my sexual relationship and after yesterday I don’t plan on masturbating again unless pied comes back. Fighting porn is not much of a problem for me only every now and then, now I just think of my gf fortunately and don’t think about porn scenarios as much. After all that frustration and feeling like I wasn’t getting anywhere I feel like I’ve made some progress. Thank you for all of those that read this. I’m probably looking at a 6 month reboot after 3 or so years of addiction. On month 3 despite relapses.
     
    Contentful T likes this.
  2. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

  3. Mibah.cm

    Mibah.cm Fapstronaut

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    New update, today I had a fantastic date with gf, baseball game then went home and did some oral which was bomb. This has just made me realize how frustrated I used to be for not even be able to get erect to my legs shaking. I still don’t reach orgasm yet as that will take a while and I’m still along on the way to reboot. So happy I get erect and turned on and nofap made me so angry from flatline and everything but now I feel happy about my sex life. If I ever go back into a flatline Idk what I’ll do it’ll wreck me again
     
  4. Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

    Flatline is temporary. Life is not a walk in the park however.
     
    Mibah.cm likes this.
  5. Mibah.cm

    Mibah.cm Fapstronaut

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    Very true my guy
     
  6. Mibah.cm

    Mibah.cm Fapstronaut

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    Right now I still have delayed ejaculation (DE) and I can’t tell if I’ve had a ride in libido because I’ve been so long without it I’m not sure. I’m waiting for the day I feel like a horny little middle school kid. Have not relapsed like I said I wouldn’t and still
    In my way to reboot completely.
     
  7. Mibah.cm

    Mibah.cm Fapstronaut

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    Just now MO’d but to live and light grip. Delayed ejaculation is best replaced instead of waited out. After years of using a tight grip you become accustomed to that and then won’t be able to O to anything else. Took me a long ass time but that’s the only way I’ll get my body to get used to friction in sex instead of hand pressure. To anyone that will say, “oh well no pmo is the best option” I realize that but I’m not sitting around waiting I’m trying for self improvement and an ultimate goal to have normal sexual activities with my partner
     

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