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Unloved

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by renowned fighter, Jul 29, 2016.

  1. renowned fighter

    renowned fighter Fapstronaut

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    I came to post here because of what I just saw. I feel bad for myself. I was really distressed when I saw that another girl of my dreams is happy with another guy and there she is clueless of what I feel for her. I met her during college. We were partnered for a school project which was a music video and our role there was to act as lovers. We shot romantic scenes, but I haven't felt anything, until we had separate ways. I think that's the problem with me. I don't know how to express my love for someone. I just keep it inside me. Maybe that's what PMO taught me to be, to be coldhearted and be a person with very low self esteem. Let me tell you more about the story of my "love" life.

    I am an 18 year old guy and I never had a girlfriend. I never experienced getting laid, had that first kiss and many things that mostly my age had done and enjoyed. During high school, I had that girl who I thought we had special connections. I don't know why sometimes I have feelings for her and most of the times, none. We were sweet, but we don't have any label, until everything blacked out and we act like strangers. I graduated high school without experiencing love for real. Then, I became a college student and still had not had a single girlfriend. I met that girl I've been talking about earlier. I think it was just a crush but every time I see her, it felt like a wasted opportunity. She looked like the girl of my dreams and she don't know about it. After that, I was loveless for a time, until I met another girl. She was my crush and I had the courage to talk to her because we have a "common friend". I talk to her every night. She was really special to me, but for her, I guess I was just a garbage bag waiting to be thrown out the window. I kept wooing her so I could get to know her better or to make her fall for me. I thought that was it, until... I just heard that she already had "mutual understanding" with another guy. It really broke my heart. I thought to myself, "Am I ugly?" or things like, "What did I do wrong?". I just can't accept the fact that no one is there to make me special and I would do the same for her. I don't know what's wrong. Maybe, I was just really not made to love. All I want is simple. I just want to love someone, to be happy with someone and to create great memories with a special someone. I just want to feel love. That's all I'm asking for.

    Some of you guys are so lucky because you have girlfriends to support you throughout. One of the main reasons why I entered NoFap because I wanted to have a REALationship. I think NoFap will help me to be more confident and grow self esteem. I think that's what I lack. I'm also trying to achieve a great body maybe a girl would love me for that. I just feel so alone and I just need somebody to tell what I feel or to have some coffee and laugh about things or someone who could enjoy precious moments with me. :(

    "I try to make people feel loved and wanted because I know what it's like to not feel loved and wanted."

    HOPE!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    I think NoFap will help me to be more confident and grow self esteem. I think that's what I lack. I'm also trying to achieve a great body maybe a girl would love me for that.

    If you follow the NoFap lifestyle I guarantee you that your self esteem will be sky high. Do it and see.

    Yes, getting in great shape will definitely help your chances.

    Here's what you fundamentally need to understand, and it's something I wish that someone had told me when I was your age.

    It is this: WOMEN DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. WOMEN ONLY CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES. YOU ARE VALUABLE TO WOMEN ONLY TO THE EXTENT THAT YOU IMPROVE THEIR LIVES, AND HOW MUCH THEY LIKE YOU WILL VARY ACCORDINGLY.

    So based on this, you can forget about that one girl. Never focus on one girl unless she has committed herself to you and you have accepted that commitment. And second, work on yourself. That is all. Build up your body. Work on your education and career prospects, your interests in life. Get your goals and long term plans in order. Forget trying to please one woman, or getting one girl to like you. That is a fool's game. You want to be working on yourself all the time, and going out and meeting many different kinds of women. Meet so many women that you can't keep track of them all. You will continue to improve your value and they will be the ones trying to lock you into a relationship, not the other way around.
     
  3. BlackKnight

    BlackKnight Fapstronaut

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    Bro. You're in college so instead of trying to get a girlfriend try and get laid first and foremost. Just go up to a girl at a party, and do it little drunk, cause it seems to me you lack confidence, and hit on her and try to take her home with you either her house or your house and f*** her. Once you're done you can focus on getting a girlfriend
     
  4. BlackKnight

    BlackKnight Fapstronaut

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  5. MsPants

    MsPants Guest

    This addiction causes many confusing symptoms. You may not realize that you are not sending the message clearly to a girl that you like because your addiction is altering some of your behaviours. Think about getting your addiction under control first and then you may be surprised about how others (especially girls) respond to you. Many don't realize that this addiction causes a blockage of emotions and you may come off as distant to girls. My SO definitely sent many messages to me that are not accurate about how he actually feels about me and us, and it was due to his PMO addiction. The things he is able to communicate and show me now are very different than when he was PMOing. Help yourself first, so that you are ready emotionally and physically to be involved in a healthy relationship. Don't give up on what you want, but look at what you have been doing as keeping you from getting what you want out of life. Kick this addiction to the curb and you will see the benefits with a girl that you really want to be with.
     
    renowned fighter likes this.
  6. acid wizard

    acid wizard Fapstronaut

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    I had the same thoughts as you when i was at your age. But you just have to wait until you meet "that" girl. With time she will come and before you know it, she stands in front of you. It happened to me all the times. Forget about women, dont think about them. Otherwise your behaviour will come across very needy, but you have to be spontaneous. Just wait until she comes and then go from there.

    For your self esteem you can do many things. Nofap is one of them, sport and gym are others. Get a hobby etc. I can only recommend sports, it has helped me many times and with a fit body you will feel great. It makes a huge difference in your life.
    This are the things that helped me so far, and im continuing using them.

    cheers
     
    renowned fighter and MsPants like this.
  7. renowned fighter

    renowned fighter Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys for all your tips! I know I can use this and it will help me a lot. I'll do my best to boost my confidence. Sorry for the late replies. I've lost track once more for a very very long time and now I finally found my way to resist this addiction. This time, it'll be successful.
     
    MsPants likes this.
  8. iceman40

    iceman40 Fapstronaut

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    I think you're very concerned about your needs instead of the girls needs. She definitely did not feel the same way as you did with with her. Whenever you felt for her was your feelings and nothing else. Maybe at one point she was lonely and single and was looking for somebody yet you did not pull the trigger.

    A lot of men say the same thing that I have so much feelings for this girl and she dumped me up she threw me like a piece of garbage. But the truth of the matter is she also has to like you and you have to tell her about your feelings. Yes there is a risk if you tell her when the risk is you may make a run away from you. But that same risk you take if you don't tell her at all.

    I have a really good friend and he's in the same boat. He's very shy and he never tells a girl how he feels. He spent so much time when he goes on dates tries to wind a girl and Dyna girl yet he doesn't show any substance. The was one girl he took out four times and didn't even make a move with her. This sort of stuff that's expected from a man to do and one is to take risks. guys take risks with women have a higher success rate.

    imagine asking 10 women out. Now I did attend you will get a percentage who will say yes. That is a success rate. Severe success rate is 30% take that into consideration.

    Bro you're in college and there so many women out there. Get physically fit, get mentally fit, talk to girls. The most important part is this is the best time of your life and is the easiest time of your life. Have fun, don't expect every woman that you like to follow-up with you, and enjoy the journey.
     
    renowned fighter likes this.
  9. What I will tell you is that you are starting from the wrong mentality. You have made yourself someone to evaluate. You have said to the woman of your desire, "I'm not worthy, please let me be with you!" This mentality will never work. Women will never be wooed by someone that pleads.

    Instead, I suggest that you work on your self esteem first and foremost. Go and tell yourself how awesome you are. In fact, get that book called, "You are a Bad Ass." Seriously, you're awesome, just accept that and go work on yourself until you believe it.

    Once you believe that. Then, start approaching women from the perspective that YOU are evaluating THEM! Yes, as a man, you decide that they are attractive by what you see. Don't let that visual and sexual attraction end there. Be harder on the women that you are attracted to... Think about all of the characteristics of a woman that you would like would display. Get really specific. You deserve the best. Approach women completely from this mentality. There is no way she can reject you because you are evaluating whether she is even worthy of your time.

    You are 18, man! You're so young. I wish I would have heard of NoFap at your age. You're way ahead of the game. Just keep at it. Don't let a woman have all power over you just because she's hot. She knows that you think she's hot. So, give her a challenge. Flirt, tell her that you like her and that you'd like to get to know her better. Experiment, get numbers, give your number, etc.

    It's not about being a "player". It's about getting yourself desensitized from feeling the pain of rejection. Once you're over that, you will be able to find a woman that you are actually into.
     
    renowned fighter likes this.
  10. Move on bro your future will be good
     

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