Triggers everywhere

i wouldn't say i go into a panic attack every time, but unless my kids are with to distract me and make me stay in reality. i go down a rabbit hole when i go out in public with my husband and think OMG did he look at her? would she have been someone he would have normally looked at? did he notice her tight clothes? large chest? etc etc. its awful. otherwise i am silent until we are done shopping or whatever. And i have ADHD so that is not common for me lol

 

I don't know if it is normal, but it happens to me pretty much constantly. I'm a year from finding out about P, known about PA for 4.5 months.

 

mine can be so bad at times, i dont even want to take my kids to the bowling alley...

 

only recently. and not much yet. I also am not sure what to say. i want him to make sure im ok when we in public. ya know? i shouldn't have to say hey i am worried your checking out her boobs. he should be checking on me and emphasizing that he is only looking at me etc. ya know?


thats in an ideal world i guess.

do you?

 

not to sound like a jerk. but sometimes what they are doing isn't enough.
They have to understand that this effects you as well
they also need to make sure to put effort towards fixing the relationship as well as themselves.

Thats not to say they should be doing all the work, but i am most certainly not going to act like im just peachy with all this.

 

im glad to help anyway i can. i am not sure how much help ill be.
i have been breaking down PA in and of its self. and how the mind of a man works etc. i think if i understand that better i can say, ok i don't agree but i can see how you would think of it that way.
that way i can respectfully move forward.

Im never just gonna accept this unless i understand it. or atleast thats my take

 

I wonder if he's looking probably way more than he actually is. I've talked to him about it and he tries to avoid looking at other women in front of me now. I find it just disrespectful to me.