transcending

nothing was ever overcome by avoiding it. acting out with porn is an act of avoidance. thru porn we avoid the realities of life. it serves as a buffer. a filter. a deadener. i used it to lobotomize myself. the frontal lobes are where our higher self gets realized..or not. i evicted god. i evicted my conscience.... my guiding light. i went off the rails. i was spinning around the drain. and i didnt care. suicide thru not being present. i had low self esteem. i gave my power away. i was just marking time until i was here no more. a dud. a non event. i was hiding from my response abilities. i was acting small. i was afraid of my greatness. i wanted no attention. i was an escape artist. a survivor but not a fruit bearing being. spiteful of life. a big flipping finger to god. a wasted opportunity. not creative. i was angry. i thought i understood how evil was created but i didnt know why i had to know it.... what kind of fucked up karma put me into this life. so i became a sort of healer. i used drugs, alcohol and porn. i put myself in positions of powerlessness. i joined the military. now, at 64 and 12 days sober from porn i see why. we are not bodies. we have one. but we are light beings. systems busters. interventionists at key times of earth history. sleeper agents that have been activated by source. the wound was the gift. why ? to assist us in healing from the toxic glue of sexual abuses. not just in this life but in all the lives of our family tree. yup. big shit takers. we move some old kaka. its in our genes. we clean house. we hold a vibration now that assist family to start the aquarian age. alchemists. from wasted lives to glorious purpose. god is great. i hide no more. i am response able. : ) thank you brave souls of nofap.com. we got this. lol