Trans and Sissy porn has hijacked my life, is it too late to return?

This made me so sad to read...

 

Thanks for the share.

 

Hey @Jamie_K_ ,

Keep coming back. I'm not sure it was porn the rewired your brain or if it was your desire and you simply figured it out. But, if it was porn, there is help here.

At least give yourself time to figure it all out.

* L

 

Sexual Identity is far more than male and female.

There is a broad spectrum of sexual identity in the middle of those two.

Genital development in a fetus is complicated, especially a male fetus' development.

Today, those that were labeled "intersexed" by doctors at birth now frequently identify as "non-binary". It's a whole post in itself as to the mutilation done to babies born with ambiguous genitals. Most have two or three surgeries by the time they are 3 years old and their testicles or ovaries are almost always removed. Doctors defend this practice even though non-binary adults that were mutilated as a child are speaking up saying they wish they'd never had surgery.

But, that's not the end of sexual identity. There are men who dress as women and only feel comfortable in such apparel. They are male, identify as male and see no contradiction in they way they dress. If offered free SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) to form a vagina, they'd turn it down. They are males, why would they want SRS?

There are many names to describe a male who both prefers to dress as a female but would never consider SRS. Those names are normally generated by the person themselves. Some identify as transgendered person, sissy, ladyboy, cross dresser, etc. But, for me, it's important to use the term they want. Why? If I meet a person whose given name is Samuel and that is what it says on his birth certificate, and so I call him Samuel. He corrects me and says, "I go by Sam". It would be very rude of me to continue to call him Samuel - knowing that he wants to be called Sam. So, if a person identifies as non-binary or as a transgendered person then wouldn't it be rude to call them something else?

Which brings us to transsexuals. A transsexual is a male or female. It's true, the not knowing how they identify, a quick look at their genitals would show the opposite. But, if a person is a male in their mind, then they are a male irrespective of what their genitals look like.

The transsexual community has come up with two terms to help identify male versus female: Trans and Cis

Trans is the prefix that means "over there". As in transport, which means to take something "over there".

Cis is the prefix that means "over here".

So, a trans male is a male that was born with female genitals but has moved "over there" to the male gender - they are male. A cis male is male that was born male and identifies as male.

So, to just say, "you still have a dick, don't you", really does not answer the question as to sexual identity.

Notice, I never mentioned sexuality. Sexuality is a whole different ball game.

--> L

 

I'm not one to engage in flame wars. So, I write this as an example not an attempt to prove you wrong.

Sometimes men have accidents. A sports injury for example can twist the cords that lead to a testicle and rarely to both testicles. Industrial accidents can crush or damage men's testicles. Testicular cancer sometimes occurs in both testicles and they have to be removed.

Further, some male babies are born with two undescended testicles. Normally doctors will try to push them down into the scrotum or just wait a few months for the to descend into the scrotum by themselves. Sometimes surgery can move the testicles into the scrotum.

But, if the two testicles remain "lost" in the abdomen for too much time (a year or two), surgery is preformed to find them and remove them. It's very common for undescended testicles to develop cancer.

The point? (I always get there).

These men with missing testicles have to take hormones (testosterone replace therapy) to maintain their body mass, their libido, their weight, and general male mindset.

A man that needs hormones to be a man is no less male than a male that has to functioning testicles. A urologist can surgically install two prosthetic testicles and even a doctor checking for lumps would be fooled into thinking they were real if she didn't know they were prosthetic.

You're welcome

--> L

 

Very glad you weren't.

 

Hey @Jamie_K_ ,

I don't really think I know the subject perfectly. But, I've lived it and that's how I learned it.

When I was born, there were laws against not only gay sex, but even laws against gay men gathering in groups. I was born in 1960. Up until the 1970s gay teenagers were castrated to "cure" their homosexual deviant behavior. https://www.reddit.com/r/castration/comments/7os6dc/qa_deans_castration_in_1970_for_homosexuality/
Hard to believe, I know, but it happened.

A common practice was for the police to raid a public park where men were sun tanning with their shirts off. If a man was with his wife or girlfriend they let them be. But if he was shirtless with a male friend or by himself, they were arrested for public indecency. Raids on gay bars were common.

The worst part was that in the paper after the raid, the men's names, pictures, home address, place of employment were all listed next to them having been arrested for public indecency. Many of them just didn't bother to show up to work the next day because they knew they were fired.

In 1969 the police in New York raided a bar called Stonewall. They arrested everyone in the bar. Why? Because they were congregating with know homosexuals. Seriously, they were just in the same place with other men and that was good enough to ruin a man's life.

The Stonewall riots followed. Now, normally, I don't think that violence in the streets is a good idea. The riots were pretty bad. The gay men of New York had had enough and burned police cars and fought back. Oddly, the raids stopped. Laws were changed and politicians started to support gay rights.

It was a long battle. If you'd told me when I was in my teen years that the day would come in my life where marriage equality would be the law of the land - the two men could gain the benefits of the institution of marriage (the definition of which has changed over the generations so many times) I'd have told you you were crazy.

Part of that battle was the expansion of the community. What started out as the Gay community became the Gay and Lesbian community. I learned there were different issues for lesbians than gay men. I'm still no expert on lesbian politics, but I willingly accept them as being equal and needing their rights protected.

Then, the bisexual community was included. What had been the fight for Gay and Lesbian rights became the fight for GLB rights. The side that was on the side of the angles was growing. An organization known as PFLAG was started. Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians. These were people whose only stake in the fight were their children's or friends rights, yet the numbers grew.

GLB later became GLBT when the trans community stepped up and demanded their rights also. SRS surgery is expensive. Again, if you'd told me when I was in my 20s that the day would come in my life where major employers and some state and city governments would include SRS surgery in their health coverage, I've have scoffed. But, many now do include that coverage.

Then it became GLBTQ. Queer. I term the community tried and failed to "take back". A take back term is one that used to be used as an insult and then is taken back by the community and used as a badge of honor. Gay is a take back term. When homosexuals were described as "gay" prior to the 1970s it was an insult.

The "Q" is fading. More and more, I see the community referred to as GLBT without the Q. Queer was more than just a take back term. It also was used to describe intersexed people. Today the term "intersexed" is considered an insult by some, they prefer the term "non-binary".

Q also was used to describe a host of sexualities that fall between gay and straight. Cross Dressers, men who are married to a woman yet fall into a very passive role. It was a useful term, but never really caught on.

I wonder if the community will soon include an "N" on the end. GLBTN? With the N standing for non-binary. I don't know.

The cross dressing community of males is coming out of the closet in greater numbers. They are a part of the community that has a spectrum that is vast. Some cross dress for sexual satisfaction, some as a part of their daily lives. Some have a desire to undergo SRS, some would never do that - they life what's between their legs they just also like to wear feminine attire. Some would never take female hormones, while others can't imagine life without them. "Sissy" is a term many are uncomfortable with. Yet it is in the early stages of becoming a "take back" term.

So, think I've learned about these issues by living in the right time. Also, I've lived in some very progressive cities.

Hope that made any sense at all.

--> L

 

Hey @Lucid Kazekuro ,

I've read 99% of this thread and that point had not been brought up. It was a great point full of valuable ESH (Experience, Strength and Hope) and I thank you for it.

I wish I'd been 1% as introspective at your age as you are. It's taken me almost 3 times your age and I don't think I could have seen it from your perspective.

--> L

 

Everybody is half male and half female anyway, according to yoga literature. It could be that you had a string of female births and this time, being born a male, the transition living in a male body was very rough for you. Having a penis, yet identifying with the female persona, naturally, you were drawn to transgendered person and ladyboy porn. So trying to be 'a man' again will be against your natural tendency. Don't be brainwashed by others of convincing you to be 'a man' again! You are infinitely deep as a formless being. The body is merely clothing.

 

You are my friend as well. You are such a good person, and you reaching out and caring so genuinely and so deeply is beyond touching, it is loving....and for that and your friendship and your instinctive nurturing, I am humbled and thankful and grateful.

The VERY REASON I returned ---- I missed you and a few other good and real friends here.

BRILLIANT advice for SO MANY things in life

My heart speaks LOUDLY to me on this, and as far as DEBATING this issue with troglodytes and narrow-minded people, I will be more judicious and careful in HOW I engage. What I have come to realize, though, is running away from NoFap because of bigots and trans-phobes and homo-phobes solves nothing. In many ways it just forestalls the inevitable attacks from the bullies ---- but on others. So this is "my watch" and I must rep my own views and not allow the bullies to win.
I LOVE YOU @Kenzi for so many things ------- and this post proves my views of you ---- YOU are AWESOME!!!