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traitor of myself

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Deleted Account, Jun 26, 2017.

  1. Hello everyone.

    I am very tired. I am now writing from my bed after 3 "failures". I have a. Lot of things to tell. I don't know accurately since when I fap. I think it's since 12 or 13 years old. I am 21 now. I barely remember life before this. I want to get away, to get rid of this. I am fighting this for some years now. I can say that it's been 3 years since I started to fight more. But only since last year I fight it more seriously. I tried Fortify, it's really good, but I stopped it ask at the question "who I am". I am searching for the answer since so.

    I come to here through gamequitters. It's another problem that I have, gaming has messed my life a lot. I was even recording lack of pmo altogether with lack of gaming. I was doing a good detox. But when I failed at pmo control, I ruined it all, 3 days ago. I tried to keep on it but, now today I failed again. Only a beautiful face in a regular movie leading to the fall. So now I will keep the fight against pmo here, because this is my hardest challenge.

    I am dating my girlfriend for 3y9m right now, and pmo has messed it too. Thanks to porn and hentai, during 2014 world cup I started to move sexually over her. It was terrible. We almost ruined it all in 2015. We regret these things, that aren't compatible with our relationship and goals. She doesn't have any problem with pmo, and never fapped, though I did it on her. I know that we would have a better relationship if it wasn't hurt by this. And I cheat her with pmo, and she knows that too. She's always with me in this struggle, and we even are some months without touching each other. But my biggest streak without pmo was in last year, for 1 month and some days with Fortify. I broke a good almost 1 month streak four days ago.

    I am a math graduate student from Brazil and I can't control myself. I need to be a better man to my girl (we are in relationship crisis now) and a better human to myself. I want to stop seeing people sexually.
     
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Thank you DJ.

    I currently don't have a great strategy. The point is getting a week streak. After that, it's harder to lose. I keep it up if my life works, so avoiding procrastination is crucial. I need better habits at all. Confessing to a priest is a turning point for me, after that I become stronger.

    If you have any idea of strategy please tell me.
     
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

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