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Torn

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by muterabbit, May 6, 2018.

  1. May 6, 2018 #1
    muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    I badly want to date, but I’m shy, anxious, and depressed. My first foray into the dating world didn’t go particularly well, and I haven’t completely recovered from it. Some people tell me I need to work on myself before I get involved with women again, while others tell me I need to move on from my past mistakes and get back in the saddle. I really don’t know what to do. What I do know is that nofap is simultaneously making me horny and frustrating me, because 1) no outlet for my sexual desires and 2) I still have erectile disfunction and am afraid nofap won’t cure it.
     
    muterabbit, May 6, 2018
    muterabbit, May 6, 2018
    #1
    Peace467 likes this.
  2. May 8, 2018 #2
    Peace467

    Peace467 Fapstronaut

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    Im notnsure I can offer advice, but just want to say that I feel you. Im in a similar situation where I have no dated for 10 years and the few times Ive gone on a limb (with people Ive built friendships with) Ive been rejected.

    The fustration and longing for a relasionship is often what drives me to PMO. I know its terrible but its a viscious circle of PMO then being like ‘i cant date cuz of PMO’ then the frar of rejection then relapse into starting all over again.

    My two cents:

    From reading around others experiences, you can do both :). Make sure you steadily have more casual convos with people in your life, build strong friendships to anchour you and then go for dating! That way you might meet someone and it be much more natural and ultimatly you never stop improving yourself - thats what life is (in my eyes atleast)!
     
    Peace467, May 8, 2018
    Peace467, May 8, 2018
    #2
    Savedpagan likes this.
  3. May 13, 2018 #3
    Savedpagan

    Savedpagan Fapstronaut

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    Yeah in a similar position in my ways. Is abstinence from PMO the remedy or the reward? It's both, and you're abstinence and courage need to go hand in hand.

    To use a warrior analogy, warriors who are ready for battle but never fight lose their touch and warriors who fight without being ready lose their fight.

    There's a difference between strength and courage. Sounds like you've built some strength by not spilling seed but I encourage you to ask down girls out. If they knock you back that's on them , not you, they just weren't ready to be taken out by a warrior
     
    Savedpagan, May 13, 2018
    Savedpagan, May 13, 2018
    #3
  4. May 21, 2018 #4
    muterabbit

    muterabbit Fapstronaut

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    Sorry it’s taken me forever to reply guys, but thank you for your input. After talking to a friend from work who I live with, I’ve become aware of a friendship phase that comes before the dating phase. The way I was raised left me SO confused about the process of romance, but now I understand that I need to just shoot for friendships and hope for chemistry. That same buddy wants to get me out on the weekends clubbing, so we’ll see how that goes.
     
    muterabbit, May 21, 2018
    muterabbit, May 21, 2018
    #4

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