Took my protein pills and put my helmet on

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by MajorTom, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. Mordandy

    Mordandy Fapstronaut

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    Your journey is very inspiring sir, that gives me more motivation and energy to pursue this adventure, a life without PMOing is definitely more exciting and valuable. God bless you...Arigato gozaimasu :)
     
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  2. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    ieie!

    Kochirakoso arigatoo gozaimasu!

    (yeah, I had to google how to respond lol)
     
  3. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

    The promise is that if I remain in Jesus, and He in me, that I will bear much fruit. It isn't a matter of strategy and there aren't any particular details. Apart from Jesus I can accomplish nothing, bear no fruit at all. But by simply abiding in Him, and He abiding in me, I go from nothing to bearing much fruit. And does the branch think about what it has to do to bear fruit? It does not. It merely takes the strength sent to it from the vine and the fruit forms naturally.

    Attachment, receiving the flow from God, is the thing. Plans are things humans make. They say "Wanna make God laugh, tell Him your plans"

    And maybe He does laugh, but I know He'd rather not. That kind of laugh is the laugh you give when you hear about something retarded in politics. An "I wish things weren't this way" laugh.

    No plans. Just listening. Just speaking to Him.
     
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  4. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    There is no one who understands; no one who seeks God. All have turned away; they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.

    "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day."

    These two verses, taken together, put us in a right frame of mind for the basis of our relationship with God. If we believe the bible, we must believe that we none of us were looking for God or wanted anything to do with Him. The only way we got to the point where we wanted to get right with God through Jesus is because God drew us. (and the word 'draws' means literally 'dragged against one's will')

    A good thing to take from this is whatever relationship you have with God, God initiated it. Not just generally, by creating everything in six days, setting some laws, and providing His Perfect Sacrifice for us just in case we wanted to take advantage; but PERSONALLY by deciding He wanted us in His life and dragging us to Jesus. For many of us, the dragging process wasn't that bad. I was 6 years old, had nothing better to do, and didn't really fight Him when I came to the reality of the Lord. I could almost fool myself into thinking that I was always seeking God, you know, in my heart and that all I needed was an opportunity. Scripture says that isn't true. If the Father hadn't taken me by the heart, I would have shrugged my little six year old shoulders at the gospel and walked away.

    God wants a personal relationship with you, He started one and continues to work on it. Work on it with Him. Seek His face. Throw yourself into worship and prayer. You don't need to try to get His attention, but He is looking for you to give Him all of yours.

    "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
     
  5. StanleyB

    StanleyB Fapstronaut

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    This is where Christianity really loses me. I feel like on one hand I am being told that I need to seek god / make some decision to believe in Jesus, and on the other I am being told that god will decide if it wants me and my seeking is meaningless. It also seems that if I never come to Jesus that god never wanted me in the first place, and that I will believe in Jesus eventually if god wants me to regardless of how I feel about the matter. Seems paradoxical to me.

    This is not to argue with you about your beliefs. I like you Tom (what I can know about you from your writings on the internet), and I don't think that you will ever make a Christian out of me, but I do want to let you know that I am following your story.

    I am genuinely curious about the seemingly paradoxical nature of this tenant of modern Christianity though because I found it recently and it was very surprising to me.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
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  6. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    Oh it's that whole free will thing again. It is indeed a paradox, the bible makes frequent use of paradoxes in order to tell us something very specific. (see also definition of paradox for clarity). The bible's teaching on free will is that it isn't as free as people think and the bible's teaching on predestination is leaves a bit more leeway than it gets credit for.

    So it is true He made everything and knows the end from the beginning and dwells outside of time. He knows what choices we will make and is surprised by none of it. A lot of predestination is implicit there.

    However, He has built into us the actual ability to choose and holds us accountable for our choices. So, Will.

    However our rebellious nature is such that we are free to do anything but seek God, like a fish's nature frees it for all kinds of swimming but not much fire-building.

    So, God intervenes and brings us internally to a place where we can choose to follow Him and accept Jesus. God suspends what we would call our free will to give us an actual choice in the matter of whether or not to seek Him. Having brought us to this place, the choice IS ours whether to accept or deny.

    However, even though I made this choice, of my own free will, to serve Jesus; it is more true to say that God predestined me to choose Jesus. Or put another way, that I chose to choose Jesus is no contradiction to the fact that that most of it was not my choice.

    Like if I pulled my son from his video games, dragged him to where there was a blown out light bulb in my stairwell, gave him a light bulb, put him up on my shoulders so he could reach and told him "change the light bulb", and then later him going around talking about how he changed the light bulb to his friends. He didn't want to do it, it wasn't his idea, he couldn't have done it by himself even if he did want to, but yes he could have refused and at some point he had to make the decision to actually do what I said.

    That's just about the nature of our free will.

    And I'm going through some real strong deja vu over here. Have we talked about this before?

    But to respond a bit:

    "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

    God really wants you, no doubt. But, just like Bruce Almighty, He can't force a free-will relationship on a person. It's not usually about having the facts or the proof. Humans are stout creatures with regards to belief, with or without firsthand empirical data. It's always a matter of 'Are we willing?' that's the biggest question.

    If you've ever come to the place where you're considering seeking after God, to test His claims, or learn more about Him, or considering whether or not to follow Jesus; well, the bible says that that is actually because God is currently choosing you. Our rebellious nature we inherited from the incident at the garden ensures that left to our own devices we'd never do any such thing.

    Assuredly not. While it may seem we don't have a lot of say in the matter, God respects what little agency we have with the most deadly seriousness. The notion that we may choose Him is worth enough to Him that He would pay the price in blood Himself to draw us close. That we would after all, reject our Creator and Savior is likewise not treated lightly.
     
  7. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 89

    Coming down slightly off of my high. I blame it on a vigorous unpleasant debate and a slightly sore throat.

    Still that's like 26 days where I was riding too high to pay attention to staying away from darkness, I was too close to the light for that to be a realistic concern.

    My current challenge: weather this current season and get right back to seeking His face. The closer I am to Him and the more I am submitted to His will, the less my failings can be relevant.
     
  8. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 93

    Sore throat still with me, booo.

    Spend most of my time fantasizing about being well so I can get back to singing and praising God. (yaay)

    Time is really at a premium for me these days. There's so much to do, between my projects, devotional, and spending time with my family. How did I ever make time to PMO?

    Oh yeah.. that's right, by cutting out projects, devotion, and family time.

    "Letting God heal you" isn't passively giving Him permission. Firstly, He hardly needs my permission. Secondly He's already stated in His word under which conditions He will work with me.

    If I don't seek Him with all my strength, I won't find Him. If I don't stay my mind upon Him, I won't be kept in perfect peace.

    If I don't present my problems to Him, but keep them to myself to fret over, I won't have that supernatural peace that I have come to rely upon.

    "And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

    Yes, God wants us to do the right thing. Yes, He wants us to be forgivers.

    But if you discipline yourself to do the right thing and let others off the hook whenever you can, you still haven't met the basic requirements.

    Relationship is not optional. If you want everything The Father has to offer, you have to walk with Him.
     
  9. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 96

    Sore throat it finally starting to mend. What a pain! I can sing some now.

    Interesting note: I've always admired people who could create songs but always felt that to be out of my grasp, too much creativity and talent that I don't have. In the last 2 weeks I've written a couple songs, both worship songs obvs, and I'll be the first to admit they aren't very complicated or original. But I feel like something has been unlocked in me since I learned how to get out of my own way during worship.

    I've been craving some dedicated prayer time. I mean I worship while I'm driving and do my (almost) daily devotional, but there's no substitute for spending real quality time. I think maybe that's what I'll do when I get home. I'll ditch my Japanese lesson and my devotional and just pray.
     
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  10. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 103

    Ok I can sing, but my voice is pretty raspy in the morning, I think my sore throat is actually all the way gone but the pollen in the air is doing a number on me.

    Anywayyyyys. NfNp is going well, no problems so far. I'm calling an official end to the "Tom the Grey" saga because I think I've outgrown it's usefulness.

    I still think having a milestone every 10-15 days was a good idea, but ultimately it's only a stage that should be surpassed. It's not like just piling clean days on top of each other is the end all be all of rebooting. There has to be a mind-transformation.

    The things I've found helpful, in chronological order:
    1) Spiritual deliverance through Jesus
    2) Daily Posting on my Log (for pretty much the whole first month)
    3) Having milestones to look forward to got me to day 60
    4) Regular posting (1-3 days) got me pretty much to day 120
    5) After my relapse, setting regular milestones 5-15 days apart gave me a road map that I was able to follow for the next 60 days
    6) Determining to stay away from websites that might 'accidentally' show me sexually provocative things
    7) A weekend encounter with some brethren of my faith
    8) Learning to walk with God daily.

    Obviously I'm going to say that #8 is the most crucial
    "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God."

    I have discovered that a mind that is transformed and renewed daily finds the yoke of Nf easy and the burden to be light.
     
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  11. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    A look back...

    All things considered, things have worked out well for me. My NoFap journey started around 270 days ago.

    I was sad, angry, and apathetic. I initially stopped fapping because I was literally too disgusted with myself to bother.

    I was able to go 165 or so days and then relapsed, and I'd like to say that before relapsing, I had made a lot of real progress as far as resisting temptations and learning positive disciplines. My mind had 'rebooted' about as far as simply abstaining from blatant P and M will take you.

    The second big change came after cutting all the "Psubs" out of my diet. No more places where there were sexually charged images at all. It's amazing how much your 'temptation resisting muscles' can grow if you give them half a chance to REST.

    And the third big change came after not just 'refusing to put any wicked thing before my eyes' but turning my eyes upon Jesus.

    270 days later, it's like I'm a completely different man.

    I am not sad, but am joyful. I am not angry... at all. And things that would make me angry are so easy to put down. My apathy these days isn't because everything is grey and flavorless. In fact there is so much color and flavor everywhere! It's just that God is so good that everything else I can experience isn't an adequate substitute. I yearn for more of God!
    And the more I have of God, the better everything else is and the less it matters if everything else is good or bad or blah.

    Jesus!
     
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  12. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 110

    Still going strong. It seems that the Lord has been answering a lot of my recent prayers very swiftly these days, so much so that I almost forget to thank Him for them.

    He is kind and forgiving and full of mercy to those that seek His face.
     
  13. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 118

    Managed to catch a sinus infection. It's not great.
     
  14. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 122

    I got better.
     
  15. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 140

    Still going strong.
     
  16. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    IREQUIREVAGINALINTERCOURSEWITHAWOMAN
     
  17. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    It happened. Things are better. lol
     
  18. Salt

    Salt Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing! This is very motivating to read.
     
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  19. MajorTom

    MajorTom Fapstronaut

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    DAY 1

    Pfff. Dang.
     
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