Too tired for sex?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Dawid1997, May 19, 2019.

  1. Dawid1997

    Dawid1997 Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone.

    Let me introduce myself first. I am 21, about to finish my degree, (it really has been stressful), I work 20-25 hours a week, of split shifts, I train on a bicycle 5 times a week, 1 hour each session, I eat healthily, but also actively looking for a new job in my degree, my mother wants to do natural bodybuilding (I have been thought that when I was 14-19), and I know how much mentality it takes from you, and because that is my only family here (In UK), it is a scaring me.

    I am on the 70/75 day of no PMO; however, during those days, I have been trying to have sex with my girlfriend. Oral sex was fine; I didn't have trouble; my erection stayed strong. However, when I was putting a condom on, it all went soft (this happened to me a couple of times now - 4/5 times). But all those times it happened, I was under university stress, stress from work, and so on, and I was physically tired from all cycling training. Could this be eat, that I was under so much stress, that my erection went from hard to soft as soon as I wanted to have sex with her, because I have been getting erection when I am with her, and it stays strong? My girlfriend has been supportive and knows my journey of nofap since the day one. We tried sex, but just didn't succeed.

    Also, on the 7Th of June I will be going away with my girlfriend for one week holiday (7 days), I will finish my university, on the 23rd of May, and the biggest three year stress will be gone, and one week off should mean that I won't be rushing, because other times that I have invited her, we were either working both split shifts on the same, or she was working, and therefore we only had two hours.

    Also, could anyone say if this is a good suggestion, because it happened to me couple of times where my erection went from hard to soft, should I and my girlfriend skip sex all together for that first night do something different, and on the second try and see what happens? I know I am physically healthy, but I tend to worry about little things often and more than any other person. Please, people let me know if anyone was in the same situation and if you have got any recommendations, because I don't want to take any blue pills to help.
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2019
  2. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

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    So I am on the other end :( my boyfriend has the exact issue and I wish someone could assist as it’s made me so insecure about myself.
    Especially as we are still a fairly new couple and I’m wanting to be intimate with him regularly.
    I wish I had answers both for you and for me
     
  3. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    Anxiety and stress play huge parts in these problems. If you both want the first night of vacation to be no sex, go for it. Spend some time just being close and intimate. Let things flow naturally and in the moment. When you decide to do things, stay engaged with her, look her in the eyes, talk with her, let things flow and don't rush.
     
  4. Dawid1997

    Dawid1997 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much. I really appreciate this reply.
     
  5. Dawid1997

    Dawid1997 Fapstronaut

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    I fully understand how you feel. I talked with professional, specifically acupuncture professional, and trust me when I say this (I am therapist myself), they will help you and talk with you, don't be afraid to say every little detail, because they will have to keep such information confidential and anonymous. Please do this, as it does help, at least it will make you happy and less embarrassed. Message me if you need to talk privately, please.
     
  6. Realitycheck

    Realitycheck Fapstronaut

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    Thank you- I am happy to chat further and maybe get perspective from the other persons side
     
  7. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    1. Usually overtraining can lead to problems. 1 hour 5 times/week AND working AND school can be very stressful

    2. Bicycle can be very problematic for men, you're messing your pc/bc muscles that help erection. This is actually a known medical issue https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/can-cycling-cause-erectile-dysfunction

    I can only imagine it makes matters even worse when you're recovering from PMO addiction.
     
  8. Dawid1997

    Dawid1997 Fapstronaut

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    So in that case, if I give myself two weeks of full rest before the holiday (7Th of June - 14Th of June), no hard training, I have finish my degree, do some stretches and maybe some yoga, do you think that would help me recover and make things better?
     
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    No, in your case i'd say you need to think of another hobby in the long run, aside from taking a momentary break. If you really want to keep doing it, you should change the saddle at least to something less stiff and more wide.

    Just do any other sport for a month or two imo, besides the full rest now
     

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