Told my family about my partners addiction

You need healing more than he does. You need support no matter what parts of his *privacy* get disclosed, especially to family or friends. If he can't deal with that, why would you deal with betrayal?

 

Are they His family or yours?
Are you married?
How long have you been married?
Are there kids involved?
I feel like you left alot out.

For instance.... My SO has told his mother.
He told her.
Himself.
He wanted to have me to be able to talk to her.
He KNOWS how close we are.
I told my mother.
He doesn't know.
She will not tell a soul.
We have many children.
I told my mother only after he started coming out to his mother.
I was always going to tell my mother anyway.
I didn't know whether she would be supportive.
She was in fact.
He is my second partner with this issue but he is a completely different person than the last.
He works on it, every day.
The thing is, he needs to work on his healing and you need to work on yours.
Whether you grow together and it makes you stronger or better or worse off from here... Depends on both sides of the journey and how you meet in the middle.

If he was relapsing and you reached out for support... I don't think you impacted his journey.
.... I think he impacted yours.
My 2cents.

 

You did nothing wrong. There's not much coverage on SO support as available as addiction info.

You are a victim and you need support. You need to react. You just do you without the shame or guilt. I feel this will also help you support your addict if you choose to stay with them.

He needs to learn to deal with his addiction. If my SO told my family, coworkers, friends, I would be embarrassed and uncomfortable but I would not be mad. I victimized her. I indulged in my addiction and that hurt her. I can't fault her in needing to talk.

In the end, it will get out anyways. A common theme in recovery is talking about your addiction and removing the shame and guilt associated with it that causes the lying and secretive behavior that this addiction thrives on.

The only thing he needs to be angry or concerned about it's himself and his lack of knowledge on the subject or his unwillingness to deal with his addiction.