After a day filled with panic attacks and stress it ended all too well. I was posting a comment on an SO thread here when he sat next to me. I didn't want him to see what I was writing, as this is my safe space, my outlet, my solace. He flipped out. Threw an oven mit at my face. How can he spend hours in holed up in the bathroom and be mad I'm posting in forums? How does he justify his PA behaviour and get angry at me for seeking comfort and understanding? I'm on my last rope. I would never ask to read a journal of his personal thoughts. I'm just damned if I do, damned if I don't. This site has kept me as sane as I could possibly be considering. The women here have validated my feelings of worthlessness and my assuredl me it's not me. The men have helped me try to understand PA and where it's coming from. Without you all I honestly don't know how I'd be ok enough to fake another day. His internet history yesterday included his car website. But one link was entitled babes. Photos of barely dressed girls at car shows. Twice tonight he made sexual comments about innocent tv. Of course I came here to seek understanding. I'd much rather jump online for 5 minutes than start a fight. My heart is just broken. And he knows it.