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To those just beginning...

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by sir fappanot, Feb 9, 2017.

  1. sir fappanot

    sir fappanot Fapstronaut

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    Here is the first post I made in my journal 97 days ago.

    "I'm in no mood to type up some grandiose declaration of how I will never again watch porn in my life, go 90 days without masterbating, have a perfect diet, focus more on school, develop a perfect sleep pattern, cut back internet use age, get a girlfriend, be the perfect boyfriend, ect, ect, ect. The weight of such claims is tad too unrealistic to burden myself with for the moment.

    I'm going to instead start right here.
    For the rest of TODAY I will not masterbate or watch porn.
    That simple."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    It is now 97 days later and I haven't watched any porn!

    If you don't know were to start, start with today. Don't imagine the week, don't imagine two, or a month. Just take a deep breath right now, and in the moment, let yourself know that your not gonna watch porn, masterbate, or any of that, just for today. Don't think about tomorrow. Just enjoy today.

    I am optimistic. I believe in myself. This is just the beginning!
     
  2. aberration

    aberration Fapstronaut

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    how did you deal with dopamine withdrawals? Any suggestions or tips for someone whose job and hobbies revolve around using a computer all day (they were also my hobbies before porn viewing)? What is your view on MO without P material? Should I fully commit to the nofap challenge if I am not influenced by Coolidge effect (for example I watch extreme P but I can still MO to vanilla pictures of nude women)?
     
  3. sir fappanot

    sir fappanot Fapstronaut

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    Hey there man. Thanks for asking me some questions, I hope my answers can be of some help.

    Dopamine Withdrawals:
    Well, when it comes to dopamine withdrawls, at the end of the day there is no easy way around them. On that neuronal level it is going to happen. I believe it's something like after about 3 weeks of ceasing a behavior like such, there is actually going to be growth of more dendrites and a sort of neurological push to get the old habit firing up again. You have just got to take a breath. You have just got to remind yourself of how low you have felt before, question your urges, "Is this really what I want to do?"... "Would it be worth it?" .."Who do I want to become?" .." Where do I want to be?".... Now again, as I'm sure you aware, there's a sort of mental hijacking from these midbrain structures, but your just going to have to put your frontal cortex into practice, and experience overcoming urges.

    At the end of the day, you will learn and change your behavior through experience and nothing else. Knowledge is useless without action. You have got to give your brain the experience of say, "Okay! I really really want to do this right now, but instead, because I'm committed to something larger than these urges to jerk my dick off to pixels, I'm gonna have to endure through the discomfort, mental anguish, and shittyness."

    Overtime, your brain will change and rewire, the beauty of neural plasticity! Definitly check out yourbrainonporn.com if your interested in the science behind some of this stuff. And in general, a great resource to learn and get tips from!

    My view on MO without P material?
    Personally, I used to in the past set these grandiose declarations as aforementioned, that ultimately ended up being unrealistic and silly to trifle about. For me, I found that when I was endeavoring on this process to eliminate porn from my life, I'd simply start there, eliminate the porn. I'd allow myself to MO every now and again if I ever got way way to wound up, felt like I just needed to, I would. And.. like everything else in life, those moments would pass and I think to myself, "Okay, I've MO'd.. I did not watch porn though!" And just simply move on to the next moment without worrying and thinking about am I regressing, am I failing, ect.

    Now, it would be another thing entirely to stop porn watching, but than just MO all the time. That would really just trade one compulsive behavior for another. Over time, and even very much still now, I'm learning more and more about my natural libido, my natural drive. What happens if I MO? How do I feel later that same day? The next day? Ect.

    At this point, today, I'm endeavoring to do much more controlled hard mode chunks of time. For example. Yesterday I MO'd. I plan now to go about two weeks or so with no edging, MO, and pursuing a chick. The game plan is to sublimate desires to sexually express myself physically into other life things that require my attention. Should be a trying, but growth ensuing next week or so!

    Should you fully commit to the nofap program if you don't fully experience the coolidge effect?
    In my opinion, you should create your own nofap program and find out what works for you. Constraining yourself to some arbitrary set of rules or some one else's (typically non-scientific) subjective opinions is usually pretty defeating. Now, that being said, in my opinion, the best medicine for us guys out there is just to see what life is like without porn.

    Again, personally, I found that by doing things in levels that sort of all went into the next I was able to just start slow and small. Gradually, overtime, I've been making changes to many facets of my life, but none of this was all at once or sudden. There was no quantum leap here to 97 days. It's been a day by day process, that each morning, I recommit myself too.

    Is porn negatively impacting your life? Do you want to do nofap? Why would you want to do nofap, what's the point for you?

    .....

    Thank you for posting some questions man. And as far as your job and stuff on the comp, well, your just gonna have to look at yourself and question how you wish to go about making changes in your life. At the end of the day man, you have the power to choose!

    Best
     
  4. Mr. Fox

    Mr. Fox Guest

    I've been lurking a bit and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your OP. I really enjoyed the honesty and the realistic tone. I'm not saying the rest of the success posts are unrealistic, but rather that this one struck a cord with me, so thank you for writing it.

    Life is only given one day at a time and so that's how my recovery will be carried out.
     
    hope4now likes this.
  5. aberration

    aberration Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the detailed reply, my personal goal is to get rid of my p induced fetish and then to overtime cut out PMO entirely, while still continuing MO (usually to romantic/erotic fantasies, however I noticed as of late that p induced fetishes would at times interfere with and corrupt my romantic fantasies prompting me to deal with my p fetishes). Yeah I would say that maybe 15-20% of my MO is dependent on p material and the reminder is from fantasies. One thing I noticed is that even if I am into extreme P fetish it lasts very intensely but only for a short period of time (few days) and then I get bored of it. One thing that I wonder is whether I am addicted to MO (and maybe PMO) or if I just have a high libido, but that I am unable and unwilling to try to have intercourse irl and so it manifests through MO and to a lesser extent PMO? but I guess I will have to figure things out over time...

    good luck with accomplishing your future goals.
     
  6. sir fappanot

    sir fappanot Fapstronaut

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    It would make quiet a bit of sense that you were lurking around... hahah
    http://www.theonion.com/article/biologists-confirm-foxes-sneakiest-little-fuckers--55255

    At anyrate, well, thank you for letting me know man. Best of luck to you!
     
    Mr. Fox likes this.
  7. Thank you man, i needed that! Good luck with your goals, and i think the day-to-day approach is what works for me best as well. I did not watch porn now for 33 days, which is a huge accomplishment for me, and life indeed feels different and there are lots of things to find out and learn. I M'ed and had sex, and it felt ok, good, and bad too, depending on my situation and how i perceived what i did. So no matter what happens, the porn-counter will not reset, that is priority.

    Thanks again and all the best
     
    sir fappanot and Mr. Fox like this.

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