Welcome all to my journal. I’ve started one before but I’m not too sure what came of it. I guess I must have strayed from it. Anyway...I’m 37. I’ve been watching porn since I was in 5th grade. Yep...VHS tapes. Porn always seemed to be available everywhere I went. Obviously this has become a problem. I’ve gotten off to everything from girls twerking on YouTube to sissy hypnosis. I’ve seen it all... It got to a point earlier this year that I decided to quit. I was ignoring my wife and kids, hiding in the bathroom to rub one out. I’d take long “showers”. It always felt like I was never in the moment. If I ever saw a attractive girl in public then I couldn’t wait to get home to fap. PIED has been around for a long time. I’ve been using pills to have sex with my wife...and when that happens I was usually fantasizing about something else completely. It was time to say goodbye to porn for good. One problem...it turns out it’s not that easy. Since I started in February this year I’ve had 151 clean days. My longest streak is 28 days. So there was some relapses sprinkled in there. The withdrawals have really put me through a test like no other. I have never had withdrawals as bad as this...and I’ve had my fair share. It literally feels like I’m about to go crazy and wake up in the looney bin at times. What I want is to be a better overall person, to live in the moment, to actually feel feelings other than horniness, to be a good father, to be a good husband, to not rely on pills to have sex with the woman I married, and to not be so selfish. If anyone is reading you are more than welcome to comment or ask questions along the way. Hopefully keeping a journal will help with things and also help me wrap up my day. Best wishes to the rest of you and good luck!