Three years clean from PMO today

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, May 12, 2018.

  1. udit376

    udit376 Fapstronaut

    you are not on zero.........maybe on 68 or 79 its not like you have to start all over again
    benefits are still there
    but beware of chaser effect...........
  2. Renato Pollo

    Renato Pollo New Fapstronaut

    thanks for share your history and keep going up.
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    You can do it again, your story is very inspirational.
  4. Nate1879

    Nate1879 Fapstronaut

    That is so amazing. I'm blown away by your journey. You are now a force of great good in the world. Thank you.
  5. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

    wow man, THANK you for the vulnerable update. I can feel the sting BUT what an opportunity to do it AGAIN - and become even stronger. Just think - you've already tasted the incredible benefits. Now you can recapture them again - and this time becoming even more powerful. GO man, GO!
  6. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

    You're still golden in my eyes, brother. I'm still trying to hit double-digits.
  7. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much for your congratulations @Awakeatlast . I see you have already +500 days, congrats to you too.
    Unfortunately I relapsed last Monday, so I have reset my counter. It does not feel life, but this is our life as "addicts on rehabilitation". One day we are celebrating and the next day we fall down. But I will not complain, nor become a victim. I already stood up and here I am, on the battle front once again!
    Stay strong and keep fighting
  8. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

    Damn, man, that must be hard to relapse from such a big streak.

    I recently relapsed from 345 days what was my first streak and it feels like starting from zero again only with a loss.

    Saw recently a dream that was like reality show. There was people at the breaksfast table and each had white T-shirt with their streak written on it nofap style. I had only 7 days and I felt like nothing next to guys with 300+ days. Its like no one really took me seriously on what I have to say.

    I remember you saying that you seen guys with 4 year streaks relapse and struggling to get back on a roll.
    Seen a guy with 400+ days of monk mode relapsing last year and since then havent seen him getting past 30 days.

    Its funny how people admire you when you have large streak. Also private message and such. Now sure we will get less of that lol.

    What lead to your relapse Fercho? How long you been going for this relapse, like not being careful or letting dangerous thoughts in your mind?
  9. udit376

    udit376 Fapstronaut

    This was same with me
    I started M in 2009....then I got clean in 2010.....I hardly M 5 times in complete 2010.....till March 2011
    Since March 2011 to decide 2017 I was not able to break the record of two months
    But look here I am with five month streak
    fercho29 likes this.
  10. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Hi @pcmaster , I understand what you say : some people just wants to follow the success cases so they can feel part of this, and give the back to losers. This is mit right, but it is human instinct.
    Fortunately I had amazing support from many good friends in this site, in the public forums and also in private messages. Some people that I even do not know and has been follow me has taken the time to write me and cheer me up. Which was very recomforting and helped me to stand up and start over.
    One of the tools I used in the past when I was feeling urges was exactly that: to think how bad would feel to write in this site that I have failed. Just the idea of disappointing so many Fapstronauts was a deterrent. Now I know how it feels, and it is not pretty. I do not feel proud or happy about myself.
    But this is good, because when I face my next urge I will remember this, and how shitty feel to relapse. And this will give me extra strength to avoid relapsing.
    I know that there is a stigma that guys that have had long streaks cannot get back to stay clean for long after relapsing.
    But there is also the idea around here that you cannot be clean for long in your first streak, and I have proved myself that it is possible. The day I quit 3 years ago was the last day I PMO until last Monday.
    So now I am facing a road fork and need to chose between both: should I take once again the hardes, rocky road and stay clean again for several years? Or I will take the easy one, becoming a victim, blaming some others for my relapse, and get back to a compulsive life of escorts, MO, hook ups and P?
    I can listen the song of the sirens trying to convince me that the second is great, that I will have a lot of pleasure and great time.
    But I know better. I remember how depressed and sad I felt on May 12 th, 2015 when I quit PMO and started my reboot. I feel now a bit sad, but does not compare with that feeling.
    So, why to get back to that shit? To get 5 seconds of intense pleasure? No, because I know that they will be followed by many days of sadness and depression.
    Once again, I need to ask to myself the tow magic questions: if I do it, how I will feel later ? Where will this lead me?
    The war continues. I lost just one battle in 3 years, after winning 1097 days. Statistically the chances of winning are mine.
    I do not want to believe that because I relapsed one time after 1097 days, the game is over.
    I just saw the devil on the face and does not look pretty. I will make sure I remember this next time when Inface an urge
    Keep on fighting
    Vandermeer and udit376 like this.
  11. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    That’ s great @udit376 , congratulations for your new streak. Now you know that you can be 5 months clean, which is awesome
    udit376 likes this.
  12. udit376

    udit376 Fapstronaut

    yes it is
    but it scares me a bit when i see people like you with amazing streaks relapse
    you are not the only one ........i have seen many other here with streaks of 4,2 years relapse.........
    but i think we should train ourselves to deal with negative emotion like loneliness, saddness.......or even anger .........because somehow they are the root cause of relapse
  13. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    I have been doing some soul searching this weekend, looking to answers about how to move forward.
    In fact, m problem was probably that I got too comfortable after so many years, and I relaxed the set of rules I have been following for so long.
    I became complacent, which is the besrevipe for a relapse. I thought myself as a “rehabilitated PMO addict”, when in fact I am still a PMO addict “ under rehab”. I wil maybe this the rest of my life.
    It is silly, because I wrote this post so long ago, and shared with so many people here:
    But I relaxed my daily routines and allow myself to put some distance with the reboot.
    I forgot to read my Emergency Toolbox notes when I got the first strong urges, as I used to do so many times. These reading have always helped me to remember how bad was my life before I started reboot, and were very effective in getting me out of the “zombie mode”:
    I did not take a cold shower , and when Inwent to the gym it was too late.
    I understand now why @Alexander always insist that sleep hegyene is so important. I had 4 hours of sleep and this lowered my defenses too.

    I have been revising what happened so I can learn how to fight better next time.
    As many told me, one episode after 3 years it is not the end of the world, if I avoid now binging and doing it again, just because “my counter is so low that there is nothing to lose “. That will be very bad.
    I need to use this episode to reinforce the belief in myself. To get back to the NoFap Academy weekly video calls that allowed me to stay connected and focus in my reboot. I need to re read the Willpower Process that Mark Queppet teaches in the NoFap Academy e-course, because it helped me boost my confidence when I felt weak.
    I need to start again coming to this site every day and helping some fellow Fapstronauts that are starting and need some help. The fact that I managed to be 3 years clean is something I already conquered, and will not dissapear for one single reset, as far as I kept it as this: one single mistake.
    I will put all my willpower to stand up and continue this race to glory. I will not allow one fall to be my defeat
    Stay tuned
    theprocedure and udit376 like this.
  14. Summer Son

    Summer Son Fapstronaut

    You have won more than 3 years. Let we think like this: In all this 1097 days, if you PMO'ed every day and just one time... Which is good? You didn't lose everything and you have still gainings and benefits. Just sober from porn. Also I congratulate for this great success you know what to do as an expert you can do this again. And thank you so much for sharing your story.

    Nevertheless, as a younger guy, relapsing feels bad. I had a lot of streaks like 30-45-60-80 and even almost 5 months - which is my record- streaks. And I watched pornography all the nights. You have to know that, you are not alone we are stronger together. Good luck for your new streak!
  15. theprocedure

    theprocedure Fapstronaut

    “my counter is so low that there is nothing to lose “ is so relatable.

    Fercho you an inspiration my guy. keep fighting.

    you saying that you have to always frame your mindset that you're a pmo addict under rehabilitation for life is a game changer. patience is key. the moment we think we beat it is the moment we relapse. thank you for sharing your life and struggle with us here on nofap.

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