Three years clean from PMO today

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by fercho29, May 12, 2018.

  1. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

    852
    2,432
    123
    you are not on zero.........maybe on 68 or 79 .......so its not like you have to start all over again
    benefits are still there
    but beware of chaser effect...........
     
  2. Renato Pollo

    Renato Pollo Fapstronaut

    7
    4
    3
    thanks for share your history and keep going up.
     
  3. nomo

    nomo Fapstronaut

    807
    509
    93
    You can do it again, your story is very inspirational.
     
  4. Nate1879

    Nate1879 Fapstronaut

    35
    45
    18
    That is so amazing. I'm blown away by your journey. You are now a force of great good in the world. Thank you.
     
  5. Atrium_Guy

    Atrium_Guy Fapstronaut

    74
    83
    18
    wow man, THANK you for the vulnerable update. I can feel the sting BUT what an opportunity to do it AGAIN - and become even stronger. Just think - you've already tasted the incredible benefits. Now you can recapture them again - and this time becoming even more powerful. GO man, GO!
     
  6. Tonytone

    Tonytone Fapstronaut

    688
    1,039
    123
    You're still golden in my eyes, brother. I'm still trying to hit double-digits.
     
  7. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    Thank you very much for your congratulations @Awakeatlast . I see you have already +500 days, congrats to you too.
    Unfortunately I relapsed last Monday, so I have reset my counter. It does not feel life, but this is our life as "addicts on rehabilitation". One day we are celebrating and the next day we fall down. But I will not complain, nor become a victim. I already stood up and here I am, on the battle front once again!
    Stay strong and keep fighting
    Fercho
     
  8. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

    380
    426
    63
    Damn, man, that must be hard to relapse from such a big streak.

    I recently relapsed from 345 days what was my first streak and it feels like starting from zero again only with a loss.

    Saw recently a dream that was like reality show. There was people at the breaksfast table and each had white T-shirt with their streak written on it nofap style. I had only 7 days and I felt like nothing next to guys with 300+ days. Its like no one really took me seriously on what I have to say.

    I remember you saying that you seen guys with 4 year streaks relapse and struggling to get back on a roll.
    Seen a guy with 400+ days of monk mode relapsing last year and since then havent seen him getting past 30 days.

    Its funny how people admire you when you have large streak. Also private message and such. Now sure we will get less of that lol.

    What lead to your relapse Fercho? How long you been going for this relapse, like not being careful or letting dangerous thoughts in your mind?
     
  9. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

    852
    2,432
    123
    This was same with me
    I started M in 2009....then I got clean in 2010.....I hardly M 5 times in complete 2010.....till March 2011
    Since March 2011 to decide 2017 I was not able to break the record of two months
    But look here I am with five month streak
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  10. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    Hi @pcmaster , I understand what you say : some people just wants to follow the success cases so they can feel part of this, and give the back to losers. This is mit right, but it is human instinct.
    Fortunately I had amazing support from many good friends in this site, in the public forums and also in private messages. Some people that I even do not know and has been follow me has taken the time to write me and cheer me up. Which was very recomforting and helped me to stand up and start over.
    One of the tools I used in the past when I was feeling urges was exactly that: to think how bad would feel to write in this site that I have failed. Just the idea of disappointing so many Fapstronauts was a deterrent. Now I know how it feels, and it is not pretty. I do not feel proud or happy about myself.
    But this is good, because when I face my next urge I will remember this, and how shitty feel to relapse. And this will give me extra strength to avoid relapsing.
    I know that there is a stigma that guys that have had long streaks cannot get back to stay clean for long after relapsing.
    But there is also the idea around here that you cannot be clean for long in your first streak, and I have proved myself that it is possible. The day I quit 3 years ago was the last day I PMO until last Monday.
    So now I am facing a road fork and need to chose between both: should I take once again the hardes, rocky road and stay clean again for several years? Or I will take the easy one, becoming a victim, blaming some others for my relapse, and get back to a compulsive life of escorts, MO, hook ups and P?
    I can listen the song of the sirens trying to convince me that the second is great, that I will have a lot of pleasure and great time.
    But I know better. I remember how depressed and sad I felt on May 12 th, 2015 when I quit PMO and started my reboot. I feel now a bit sad, but does not compare with that feeling.
    So, why to get back to that shit? To get 5 seconds of intense pleasure? No, because I know that they will be followed by many days of sadness and depression.
    Once again, I need to ask to myself the tow magic questions: if I do it, how I will feel later ? Where will this lead me?
    The war continues. I lost just one battle in 3 years, after winning 1097 days. Statistically the chances of winning are mine.
    I do not want to believe that because I relapsed one time after 1097 days, the game is over.
    I just saw the devil on the face and does not look pretty. I will make sure I remember this next time when Inface an urge
    Keep on fighting
    Fercho
     
    Vandermeer and u376 like this.
  11. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    That’ s great @udit376 , congratulations for your new streak. Now you know that you can be 5 months clean, which is awesome
    Fercho
     
    u376 likes this.
  12. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

    852
    2,432
    123
    yes it is
    but it scares me a bit when i see people like you with amazing streaks relapse
    you are not the only one ........i have seen many other here with streaks of 4,2 years relapse.........
    but i think we should train ourselves to deal with negative emotion like loneliness, saddness.......or even anger .........because somehow they are the root cause of relapse
     
  13. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    I have been doing some soul searching this weekend, looking to answers about how to move forward.
    In fact, m problem was probably that I got too comfortable after so many years, and I relaxed the set of rules I have been following for so long.
    I became complacent, which is the besrevipe for a relapse. I thought myself as a “rehabilitated PMO addict”, when in fact I am still a PMO addict “ under rehab”. I wil maybe this the rest of my life.
    It is silly, because I wrote this post so long ago, and shared with so many people here:
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...lped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    But I relaxed my daily routines and allow myself to put some distance with the reboot.
    I forgot to read my Emergency Toolbox notes when I got the first strong urges, as I used to do so many times. These reading have always helped me to remember how bad was my life before I started reboot, and were very effective in getting me out of the “zombie mode”:
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...lped-me-a-lot-during-my-first-100-days.45178/
    I did not take a cold shower , and when Inwent to the gym it was too late.
    I understand now why @Alexander always insist that sleep hegyene is so important. I had 4 hours of sleep and this lowered my defenses too.

    I have been revising what happened so I can learn how to fight better next time.
    As many told me, one episode after 3 years it is not the end of the world, if I avoid now binging and doing it again, just because “my counter is so low that there is nothing to lose “. That will be very bad.
    I need to use this episode to reinforce the belief in myself. To get back to the NoFap Academy weekly video calls that allowed me to stay connected and focus in my reboot. I need to re read the Willpower Process that Mark Queppet teaches in the NoFap Academy e-course, because it helped me boost my confidence when I felt weak.
    I need to start again coming to this site every day and helping some fellow Fapstronauts that are starting and need some help. The fact that I managed to be 3 years clean is something I already conquered, and will not dissapear for one single reset, as far as I kept it as this: one single mistake.
    I will put all my willpower to stand up and continue this race to glory. I will not allow one fall to be my defeat
    Stay tuned
    Fercho
     
    joarev85, theprocedure and u376 like this.
  14. Summer Son

    Summer Son Fapstronaut

    You have won more than 3 years. Let we think like this: In all this 1097 days, if you PMO'ed every day and just one time... Which is good? You didn't lose everything and you have still gainings and benefits. Just sober from porn. Also I congratulate for this great success you know what to do as an expert you can do this again. And thank you so much for sharing your story.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-is-it-like-to-experiment-with-porn-after-recovery

    Nevertheless, as a younger guy, relapsing feels bad. I had a lot of streaks like 30-45-60-80 and even almost 5 months - which is my record- streaks. And I watched pornography all the nights. You have to know that, you are not alone we are stronger together. Good luck for your new streak!
     
  15. theprocedure

    theprocedure Fapstronaut

    “my counter is so low that there is nothing to lose “ is so relatable.

    Fercho you an inspiration my guy. keep fighting.

    you saying that you have to always frame your mindset that you're a pmo addict under rehabilitation for life is a game changer. patience is key. the moment we think we beat it is the moment we relapse. thank you for sharing your life and struggle with us here on nofap.
     
  16. pcmaster

    pcmaster Fapstronaut

    380
    426
    63
    Yeah man, I see you. Getting comfortable and relaxing rules is what leads to relapse. Seems like only way to get to and stay in 500+ days club is to keep guard up at all times. Satan knows how to get you to play with your twinkie winkie. Only way how to stay on a narrow path to paradise is to expect attack and be strong everyday. Every single day. Cause PMO don't have holidays. "Enemy here is to kill, steal and destroy".
     
    fercho29 likes this.
  17. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    Exactly @pcmaster . Although I always repeated to myself that I should not get complacent, sooner or later you fell on this trap.
    Actually, i think we all want to get back to a "normal life" and do not want to accept that we will be all the rest of our lives "addicts under rehab". We may be "rehabilitated addicts" but remembering every day this condition so we stay alert.
    Anyway, I feel more optimistic now. I took this as another step in my learning process. I started reboot on May 12th, 2015, after 40 years of compulsive PMO (4-5 times per day), promiscuous sex with ransom hook ups and hiring hundred of male escorts.
    Which means if I could stay clean for 3 years starting from such a low baseline, I am sure I can do it now, after my brain has seriously been "rewired" and i have so many tools to fight my urges.
    I will keep fighting and never lower my arms
    Fercho
     
  18. joarev85

    joarev85 Fapstronaut

    581
    750
    93
    why is it that we watch p all the nights when we have opened a p site. ? If we dont m and o while watch p is it possible to get back on track. Is it still a relapse? Isometimes used to watch p without m and o.
     
  19. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    2,192
    4,599
    143
    Hi @joarev85 . watching P even if you do not MO is considered a relapse.
    The idea is to stop hitting your brain with so much shit so it starts "rewiring".
    MO using your fantasies, or with a sex partner may be considered a relapse or not, depending on what you feel. If you are with a real person having sex but you are using P images to get aroused, should be considered a relapse because you are "cheating", probably because you get more excited with P than with real life persons
    Hope this helps
    fercho
     
    Summer Son and joarev85 like this.
  20. Nick:3

    Nick:3 Fapstronaut

    that story has inspired me to continue on with nofap! tbh I have been quite tempted lately
     

Share This Page