Thoughts of a Sailor

Hey Guys,

As some of you may know, I am an officer on a cargo ship, and in 1 week, I will again join a ship for 3 months of work. I have just passed 2 months of vacation.

For a little bit of background and my previous experience, here is the link to the last post I wrote:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/130-days-pmo-free-why-we-do-this.96666/#post-793261

At the time of writing this old post, I thought I had completely rebooted, that I was completely released from all addictions. Well, I was wrong.

The problem I had was that I thought that I HAD to have a girlfriend to find happiness. And I was so fucking wrong! Every time I was at sea, I told myself: Next vacation, you WILL find yourself a girlfriend. 2 months later, I would step on board again with my dick in my hand. Then I started NoFap, so last vacation, I told myself: You have stopped fapping and watching porn, now you will finally find yourself a girlfriend. Guess what, I didn’t find one. I went out more, but didn’t meet a lot of interesting women. One month passed, nobody. One month and a half passed, nobody. I grew desperate, anxious, that I would step on board the ship again, still lonely. And because I was lonely, I was unhappy. To add to it, I kept having these fantasies with some MILF lady who I would meet randomly.

A friend from my AG told me to try the following. Take a moment, and think about going on board, without having talked to any girl in the last 2 months, without any girls kiss or phone number. Hold on to that thought and the emotions that well up. It seems to help in getting rid of the thoughts and feelings. I did this thought experiment and the feelings that came up where desperateness and sadness. But almost immediately, my thoughts automatically started to attack these feelings. I have the best job in the world, where I work both outside and inside, with a beautiful mix of skilled work, physical work and administration work. In my holidays, I can travel where I want. I train 7 times a week, of which 5 times in a Crossfit gym, with likeminded people who push me to go further. My body feels good and in balance, even with this large amount of training. I eat healthier, I barely drink alcohol, and I don’t lose my fucking energy on fapping and watching some perfect girls getting fucked by a guy with an oversized dick on a screen. I have 2 fantastic cats and I still live with my parents, who are amazing people. I already have the perfect life, and if I ever find a girlfriend (which I certainly will), it will only make it more perfect!

Before this experience, I had these bouts of depression and desperateness. After the experience, I haven’t felt a single sad moment. I used to say that I was against having a life motto because I thought life was too complicated to have a single motto. But I was wrong, and I have found mine.

Healthy and Strong, in mind and body

It’s probably one that already exists and I have probably read it somewhere, but it popped into my head and stayed. I feel very healthy and very strong, I feel it when I wake up and I feel it when I go to bed. It’s not just something I say to myself or make myself believe. I really feel this energy, both mentally and physically. It feels like I can handle any situation. NoFap has played a huge part in it. It was the spark that lit the engine. The fantasies about MILFs have completely gone, not a single thought left. When I do think about a girl, it’s about a healthy, normal girl of my own age. I finally feel that I have rebooted and left the old me behind.

So next week I will be on board again, probably not talking to a girl for 3 months, but I feel good about it. I went out a lot more this vacation, I can be proud of myself. I have the perfect life right now and I know that when that beautiful girl shows up in the bar, grocery store, where ever, I will have the guts to talk to her.

Keep going, it is worth it!