Thoughts about relapsing...

TLDR
Dating is like a game where nobody wins. And it feels like it does not matter if you PMO or not because relationships these days feel meaningless. Marriages fail, husbands PMO. Even celebrities can’t stay together. People complain about being single but they have become so spoiled with all these matches they don’t take it seriously. Because they know they can always find someone to talk to. They can effectively just swipe the world away.

Dating
So I have a pretty good streak going here. It won’t be long before I’m well over 90 days! Unfortunately I’m starting to get disillusioned with dating... And it’s not because I’m struggling to meet girls in fact it’s the complete opposite! So I use online dating a lot it’s my primary way for getting dates. I’m picking up phone numbers so easily, far too easy. Over 20 girls to talk to and 4 dates so far. So you are probably wondering why I would want to go back to PMO? Well as amazing as online dating is I think it’s ruined dating in general. And this includes doing approaches it’s all the same. Those girls you approach they have online dating profiles or they have tried it before. My problem is nobody takes it seriously anymore I’m not kidding. Relationships are like a game. After years of trying to get a girlfriend it feels like such things are fantasy now. All of the girls I’m talking to are single. They have been single for so long they don’t even know what a relationship is anymore. It’s the same old stories. Career focused, lots of bad dates not ready to meet people. Always travelling, always working, single mothers. No time to meet no time to date. So many guys to talk to indecisive. Put it off for a few months. Same old shit different day.

My last date said she thought we had no chemistry. I was her fourth hinge date. She ghosted us all... Clearly a serial dater... The one before that, it felt like she friend zoned me before we got to know each other. Dinner date, meet her friends, go to a bar meet another friend. And then joking that one of them is single. And then acting like we all friends making it hard to be romantic. She already friend zoned her last date and did not tell him? Seriously? Does nobody care about dating anymore? And one of her friends (they were all girls) was supposed to have a date coming. He didn’t show. And she was weird the whole night asking me if she looked normal? Honestly it’s like the world has become undateble. Is it even possible to have boyfriend girlfriend relationship that work? The girl I met before that was just angry at every guy. Because her last dates lied to her. Secret family and girlfriend.

My first date this year she was just so busy and conversation died. It’s always the same so predictable relationships don’t happen. Also talking to another girl she was married now single. Met dozens of guys gave up on dating for a while. Disabled her dating profile. We still talk of course and joke about the state of dating.

Everywhere you look it’s the same! I have no doubt I can get more dates but if it’s just going to be the same bullshit over again what’s the point? Maybe we were born in the wrong century I’ve become very sceptical. My mum keeps complaining that I should be married with kids. I’m putting myself out there nothing happens. I see the same girls on dating apps year after year. They are always single everyone is single. We have created a society of spoiled babies who don’t know what they want anymore...

So now I’m thinking about relapsing. Because I crave sex and this dating game is bias. We have bad cards it’s just a joke now. Sure it’s fun having all these chat buddies. Oh look at me I have so many girls to talk to. They send voice messages and pictures. So many online friends....

What to do? Anyone see this differently? Better respond quick it might not be long before I relapse...

 

do pmo for yourself, u never know how your life might change and maybe the way u think. Maybe dating is not for u at the moment, try something different because relapsing is not worth it, is only going to make u feel worse.

 

I haven’t relapsed almost did though... Still might I don’t know... This year is just so crazy. But at least I’m not unemployed anymore started a job on Monday! So one incentive to not PMO, staying up late would make me late for work. I would perform badly...

The dating is weird... I keep meeting time wasters and weirdos. Have one girl who sends me naughty pictures. But is also very negative and accuses me of being negative? And is obsessed with spiders which I don’t like either. And she keeps going on about them and sending me pictures of them. And saying her room has too many. This is not romantic at all, it’s gross and a turn off. And she does not get it. She makes her room sound uninviting...

 

I'm glad to hear u did not relapse, keep up the good work. Congrats on your new job! U will find the right girl eventually, take your time if u have too, why rush into anything.

 

Interesting observations about online dating. I always wonder how people end up dating through the websites. For me it always seems like nothing but fake profiles.

 

Momentum... Not going to lie the struggle is real at the moment. I have never in all my life being under so much stress. My anxiety is just the worst its ever been im barely surviving as it is. Started a new job, which is good but faster than i expected. I was hoping to get anxiety meds before i started working... Now every day im anxious which makes it hard to connect with new people. This is making me depressed and the thoughts of relapsing are increasing... I was just recently talking to a new girl, from another dating app... We exchanged numbers... Yesterday she was honest with me and said she just came out of a long relationship and she's not ready to date. So we will keep each others numbers and she will talk again when she's ready... This happens a lot now, so i really do wonder if i can succeed with relationships. When it feels like everyone is broken in some way or form. From bad past relationships...

Tried speed dating in the past mixed results. The last major event i went to some random guy was going around asking the girls what chocolate bar they were. Turned the whole event into a farce, and then every guy was just circling this one hot girl. Freaked her out she left with her friends and that night was just a waste That book is on my must read list.

I guess i play it safe sometimes. But trying to be sexual funny does not always work in my experience. I tried that on a dating app called coffee meets bagel. And the girl thought i was coming on too strong. And then joked that guys who use Tinder become too sexual, because i said i have been talking to a lot of people on Tinder too. That killed the conversation she stopped talking...

Lots of real people online you will know they are for real when they give you their phone number. It is so easy for me now getting phone numbers is childs play. Turning those numbers into dates and relationships. That is the hard part...

I dont know how much longer i can hold out to be honest... Despite a phone book full of numbers im depressed and anxious and my health is not at all good right now. Getting sex through dating is very challenging for me at the moment. Relapsing is bad of course but like i said im in a bad place too so in a awful way it feels justified...

 

My motivation to relapse is purely because of health problems. Ruining my life and making me think more of suicide. Its beyond anxiety now... If i can control it with improved health and meds then its not a problem. But if it stops me from living a normal life then.... Whats left to do....