This will help you a lot

Truegamer007 · Feb 5, 2018

Truegamer007 said: ↑

Check this out. I had this experience. I learned a lot from it, but what I didn't expect was the insane confidence and self-esteem boost.
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...perience-in-europe.101488/page-2#post-1171018

EDIT: fixed link
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I just realised I've had my longest streak since 4th December and it has been partly due to this above incident that I've been able to keep going as long as I have been able to. Amazing! Go out there and just try it everyone!

Erick Pastora · Feb 6, 2018

Thank you guys for all the great comments I've recieved for this post. I gotta tell you all my life this has been one of my biggest struggles so the guide is not just for you, but for myself as well. I want all of you to start changing your lives from today because that's why we're on NoFap. I love giving advice that can help you achieve happiness!

CrisReis22 said: ↑

I gotta tell you all: I never approached a girl before, it always scared a hell of me before, but this year I want to be different and I will try to learn social skills. I'm feeling confident enough to think about it and try, but I can still some social anxiety and my fear taking over me. Thank you for sharing these amazing tips.
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Thanks for sharing this. This is what I want you to do: go step by step. Make a list of all your fears, then organize them form least scary to most scary. Whether talking to girls is on the top or not doesn't matter, I know it will probably be one of the top ones. Start by overcoming the least scary thing you're afraid to do, say speaking your mind in class, going to the club or to a party, eating some kind of food.. You know, any little thing that scares you. As you move up, the fears on the bottom of the list will be forgotten as you overcome them. This is called self empowerment, always believe in yourself and your potential.

Once you've reached talking to girls on your list, follow the tips that are on the top of this post and there are a couple more things that you should add to your mindset:
1. Stop thinking about women as goddesses. I know, they're just great but always remember they're as much human as you and me.
2. Don't let yourself down. Remember, if a girl rejects you, she's not rejecting YOU because she doesn't know YOU. She's rejecting your approach, or the idea of dating, or anything else but not YOU.
3. Accept frustration. Don't brush it off if you're turned down and feel bad. Frustration is a part of life and great things can be achieved if you embrace frustration and use it for the future.

Erick Pastora · Feb 6, 2018

UPDATE: I don't know if should post this in another thread but this is something I really want to talk to you about.

Frustration. Whenever you see that girl you like and can't talk to her because you're just panicking too much or when you can't get girls to date you or even if you start dating but can't seem to find someone to fall in love. Frustration is a tool, whenever you're feeling down don't try to stay positive and just forget about it because you're repeating the cycle. If you can't criticize yourself constructively you won't see sucess anytime soon. Embrace the fact that you're frustrated, acknowledge your feelings, identify what triggers your frustration and from there you can create something constructive. Think about it, you couldn't talk to the girl you like, you accept you were a moron and that you don't want to feel that way anymore so you go out and try again.

We're humans, we're not perfect, we can't just smile so all of our problems go away. We have to accept our feelings and accept ourselves, we have to become able to act by destroying all of those frustration triggers.

Erick Pastora · Feb 7, 2018

Hey guys, come in here to check out my latest post, it's called "Nice guys finish last", I really dedicated myself so I hope you like it!
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/nice-guys-finish-last.155507/

Erick Pastora · Feb 8, 2018

I found this quote that really applies to this kind of situation.
"You'll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you're afraid to take the first step because all you see is every negative thing 10 miles down the road." from Good Will Hunting. Love that movie, hope you like it and use it.

Abird · Feb 8, 2018

Truegamer007 said: ↑

Check this out. I had this experience. I learned a lot from it, but what I didn't expect was the insane confidence and self-esteem boost.
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...perience-in-europe.101488/page-2#post-1171018
EDIT: fixed link
Click to expand...

Yea i read that topic and that's the reason i started doing NoFap. It gave so much motivation, but still not that part that I try it.

Erick Pastora said: ↑

Listen, I get it. It's frustrating, being on the spot and your mind telling you not to do it. I've been there (still sometimes), I'm an overthinker just like you. Sometimes is just easier to get pleasure from PMO or any other self rewarding thing, but aim for success. If you see a girl you like, don't think about acting, act. Your mind can be your worst enemy, turn it off. Make a list of things you really enjoy that bring out a smile out of you and think about them when you're feeling afraid. Before acting take a deep breath, act as quickly as you can and don't let yourself down because of the opinion of one girl. If you start acting and talking to girls you don't know I absolutely guarantee you'll feel great, even if you don't hit it off, there's success in taking action. Then you'll want more of it and will start getting results. Be decisive, act, be an alpha.
I really wish I could be with you in person so I can help you, but this is the best I've got.

I'm rooting for you!
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I know the 2 or 3 second rule. That says if you see a girl you like, approach within 2 or 3 seconds. This won't give your approach anxiety a chance to give reasons why you shouldn't do it. And with such confidents is something most girls like.

But when I think of putting it to practise I get the feeling the girl will respond with: "What do you want?". To give an example convo : "Hi, My name is abird, what is yours?" then she says "Wtf you want ? " in front of all her girlfriends who start calling me a creep or start laughing. This might be overthinking to the worst what can happen, but somehow i can't help it.

I know if she reacts this way, you should be happy beacuse thats not a girl to have a relationship with. I'm still afraid it will hurt and make the approaching strugle worse.

Erick Pastora · Mar 7, 2018

New thread guys, hope you like it. It's called "It's all about abundance" and it will help you out on your mindset for dating. Check it out here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/its-all-about-abundance.159894/

Erick Pastora · Apr 1, 2018

Hey guys, new post: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/do-this-before-approaching.164593/

Erick Pastora · Jun 5, 2018

Hey check out this new thread, it can help you a whole lot: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/this-is-how-you-start-loving-thyself-today.176365/

Tonytone · Jun 5, 2018

Erick Pastora said: ↑

Hey guys, I've found this advise very useful for approaching anxiety. I spent almost all of the past year watching 2 girls (one that works at my gym and one that works at my college's library) that I really really really wanted to talk to. This year, I've talked to both of them, I introduced myself and have become more confident. But why did I became able to talk to girls? I used a not at all new technique which has been misunderstood for a long time.

I'm not going into generals about social anxiety because I already did it in another post, you can check it out here: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-harsh-truth-about-social-anxiety.153354/

But, going back to that advise that we've all had heard or read at least once and it is: worst case scenario. Everyone has heard the phrase "what's the worst thing that could happen?" which can be answered in many ways, but there is just one correct answer if the question is "what's the worst thing that could happen if I talk to that cute girl?".

I want you to think very thoroughly of your answer to that question. Some will say something simple as "she says no", people who think more dramatically may think "she laughs at me", I'm guessing guys who think like Charlie Harper or Barney Stinson will say "she says yes and then marries you and cuts your balls, so you stop being happy forever".

Think about this scenario: you're on the gym and see a hottie, you go talk to her and just say "hi", she looks at you from top to bottom and starts laughing, she then goes around telling everybody that you approached her and they all start laughing at you, you're not going to the gym again. Wait, but that isn't it. Those guys go tell everyone in school about it and the whole school laughs at you and say mean things. Maybe they go to the place you work and your boss not only thinks you're patethic but he also fires you because of that approach. You then go home and your family laughs at you. The news report that there's this pathetic guy who tried to approach a hottie at the gym and you can never show your face to the outside world again.

News flash: that doesn't happen. How do you know? Everyone has their own goddam problems to be focusing on a guy hitting on a girl, an event that happens every minute of every day in the whole freaking world. You're not the only person who is afraid of social interaction, there are literally millions of guys just like you, who get nervous when they want to approach someone.

Now, back to the question. I know most of you thought either she says no or she laughs at you. That's not really worst case scenario, the actual answer to the question "what's the worst thing that could happen if I talk to that cute girl?" is... you don't. That's right, the worst case scenario is you don't talk to her. She might like you back, she might be your new gf, she might give you some great new life experiences. Hell, she might be THE ONE. But, how could you know if you don't approach her? This is the truth guys: we LIVE in the worst case scenario.

Remember guys, women are human beings and they also feel scared and insecure. Maybe she's even more insecure than you, maybe she's more excited than you are when you approach her.

So, when you spot a girl you like and you start feeling scared, nervous, panicking, NEVER think you can't do it, because you can, nor think you'll do it tomorrow, because tomorrow you'll think the same thing and eventually tomorrow will become forever. Acknowledge your fear, remember which is the actual worst case scenario, think about a best case scenario which will also encourage you, and remember that just saying "Hi, my name is..." means success. If it starts going fine and the conversation flows your success is bigger, if you get her number/facebook/instagram your success is bigger, if you have sex with her your success is huge. Go with baby steps, introduce yourself and you're already in. If she says no, you already hit success just by approaching her, now it's time for the next girl with whom you have (in raw stats) a 50/50 chance of hitting it on. It's a numbers game, think about this: Ty Cobb has the all-time record for batting average in MLB which is .366, that means out of ten baseballs he only hit 3 or 4.

Good luck guys.
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Great fuckin' post!! So entirely true!

Erick Pastora · Jul 9, 2018

Hey guys if you liked this thread you will absolutely love this one: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...on-that-will-change-your-life-forever.182296/

johndoe117 · Jul 10, 2018

I'd caution you front underestimating the psychological effects sexual rejection has. A female rejecting a male is fundamentally a rejection of your genetic material. No wonder guys fear rejection. Saying it's nothing is untrue, realizing rejections impact and facing it and then moving on is better. Imo

Erick Pastora · Jul 10, 2018

johndoe117 said: ↑

I'd caution you front underestimating the psychological effects sexual rejection has. A female rejecting a male is fundamentally a rejection of your genetic material. No wonder guys fear rejection. Saying it's nothing is untrue, realizing rejections impact and facing it and then moving on is better. Imo
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I'm glad you talk about psychology. You see, the area of the brain that handles rejection is the same as the one who handles physical pain. Emotions come from ideas, that means that from a situation comes an idea in your brain that leads to emotion. We're socially conditioned by evolution to fear rejection because it puts us down in the social ladder and that's why we feel shame. But if your idea in your unconscious mind changes from it being physical pain to it being not really relevant it stops generating that emotion. Yes, it's going to hurt, but once you get used to it not being actually physical pain that emotion goes away.

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