This is more difficult than I thought

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dontask, Aug 12, 2018.

  1. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone!

    Today I realised how difficult reboot is... I joined NoFap only like a week ago, and since then I started my reboot. Everyday I was entering NoFap website to get some inspiration or to give it others. Until today I thought that reboot is easy others who struggle with that are probably weak. But no shit Sherlock! It’s sooo damn difficult! Today I just couldn’t control myself...

    I don’t smoke for 3 months now and thought to myself “I have strong personality and can without a struggle reach my goals”, but no. I can’t. At least in MO case.

    I didn’t watched porn thought, but still. If you smoked only half of the cigarette it doesn’t mean that you didn’t smoke, so no excuses!

    It’s frustrating to start counting days from 0 again but also, now I’m stronger as never before, even though it sounds a bit unbelievable.

    Strength for everyone! Strength for us all!
     
  2. Freddiefox

    Freddiefox Fapstronaut

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    At least you are getting back up and doing it again. Don't beat yourself up just keep going.
    It's not easy but the feelings afterwards are worth it. To feel self respect again is amazing.
     
    Dontask likes this.
  3. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man! I just have to repeat myself what you’re telling me... Take care!
     
  4. slink123456

    slink123456 Fapstronaut

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    You can do it man.

    Along the way there will be sleepless nights, at times you’ll feel like your going nuts, or just really anxious / crappy and wonder why... withdrawal symptoms are strong with no pmo. But as long as you just keep going you will be ok. Ride the wave and enjoy life outside of porn, it is precious and worth having back! Good luck.
     
  5. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    I know, but I just have to work on it, it’s a goal I have to reach. I have to. I hope you are doing well with your goals!
     
    BeanBurrito likes this.
  6. hd339

    hd339 Fapstronaut

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    I quit smoking something like 6 years ago. I quit drinking a year after that.
    Well, I've been trying to quit porn for the last 3 years and a half...and I'm still trying ! This thing is no joke. So as Freddiefox said, don't beat yourself up and learn from every " setback ". And never wait until you're on a " decent streak " to move forward and do what you wanna do. " Day one or one day. You decide "
    Good luck and congrats for starting this journey :)
     
    HereAndThere likes this.
  7. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Hi @hd339! You just approved what I was thinking, that reboot is even more difficult than it seems like. I hope to find enough strength. And I also like words about day one or one day. So it’s now again day one, and let’s make it as more as possible than one day!
     
  8. guyinsideout

    guyinsideout Fapstronaut

    The struggle is real with this. Have quit several things in life one being smoking and this harder!

    Start building your arsenal of tools, resources and tactics to get through the urges and withdrawals. Your brain will try and play tricks on you. Come here everyday and draw inspiration. You got this. Keep going...
     
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  9. hd339

    hd339 Fapstronaut

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    Hey @Dontask ! Yes it can be really difficult, but the benefits are worth every struggle along the way !
    And well, I'm also back on day one, so you're not alone on this :)
    There's another quote that I find very helpful and that helped me getting pmo free for my longest periods of time :
    " Focus on your actions, not your aim. " Looking at your goal from here ( day 1 ) can be discouraging and out of reach. But by just focusing on the present moment, and doing what you have to do right now, you'll eventually go a lot farther than you thought
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2018
    Dontask and barbie like this.
  10. Here is something posted earlier by @Ridley that has helped me a lot:

    When does a relapse truly begin? Does it start when you open your incognito browser and start browsing porn? No, I actually think it starts long before that. A relapse starts with a simple, innocent looking idea: "I got this". It will manifest itself in lots of different ways as you tame your addiction, like these:
    • I've abstained for long enough. I can handle just a peek (or a short session) at porn without slipping back into a full-blown addiction. I got this.
    • My addiction has become so weak that I no longer need to stay focused on productive activities like exercise and meditation. I got this.
    • I've gotten to a point in my addiction where I don't need to journal about it anymore. I got this.
    • I've gotten to a point in my addiction where I don't need to handle triggers or urges with care and attention anymore. I got this.
    As an addict, these thoughts, if left unanswered and unchecked, will inevitably lead to the opening of your incognito browser and browsing of porn. Thus, a relapse begins the moment you convince yourself that you no longer need to stay focused on your recovery. It is important to recognize that our addiction will try to play tricks on us. Even several months into recovery (as I am), I still need to abstain from porn, continue to do healthy and productive activities, journal (or talk with a therapist), and handle triggers and urges with care and attention.

    Consider this post a reminder that you can't let your guard down. So long as you abstain, your addiction is weakened. However, it will try to trick you into feeding it by convincing you that it has gone to sleep forever.
     
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  11. Bigguy4u

    Bigguy4u Fapstronaut

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    There is no shame in it as long as you keep trying.
     
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  12. Blossom

    Blossom Fapstronaut

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    It's difficult only because you're making it difficult.
    You gotta change your whole mentality towards nofap first.
     
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  13. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    As long as you don't give up is just another step to success, don't think much about it and keep moving forward!
     
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  14. hd339

    hd339 Fapstronaut

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    @Determined_to_Succeed thanks for sharing this post with us. I think we all slipped down that road at a moment on another, once or several times. It's an everyday grind.
    " Even several months into recovery (as I am), I still need to abstain from porn, continue to do healthy and productive activities, journal (or talk with a therapist), and handle triggers and urges with care and attention. " I think you really summed it up right there !
     
  15. seaguy44

    seaguy44 Fapstronaut Moderator Assistant

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    PMO addiction is said to be one of the hardest addiction to quit because sex IS wired in us men
     
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  16. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Thank you man! I will do it! Good luck for you too!
     
  17. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    I mean... The words! Wow! I just saved them in my notes. I really appreciate your comment, full of inspiration and strong. I usually say to everyone “I live today”, but to be honest, from now on I think focusing on present moment is even better. Thanks a lot!!
     
    hd339 likes this.
  18. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    Hi @Determined_to_Succeed I made smaller version of your quote and will have it in my notes. The shorter version:

    When does a relapse truly begin:

    • watching porn thinking “I can handle it without back into addiction.
    • When you think “I no longer need to stay focused on productive activities”
    • Deciding “I don't need to journal about my addiction anymore”
    • Be so confident that even think “I don't need to handle triggers or urges with care and attention anymore”.
    Take care man!! Thanks a lot!
     
    Determined_to_Succeed likes this.
  19. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    You are absolutely right. And wouldn’t say I feel shame, it’s more guilt or something like that. But I got your point!:)

    Take care!
     
    Determined_to_Succeed likes this.
  20. Dontask

    Dontask Fapstronaut

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    It’s not easy. It sounds easy but it’s not. In how many cases drug addicts would try to change their “mentality towards drugs” but still feel the same struggle. For me changing mentality towards something is like trying to trick yourself. I will better be honest to myself - its difficult, dot. even though it’s more difficult then. But I’m just saying what works for me, if it’s working for you then I’m really glad about that! I hope you are doing okay! Thanks for your response!

    Good luck!
     

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