This Guy Has Me Very Conflicted--help?

If you want this influence out of your life, disengage NOW before you go any further down this path. You CAN resist, he doesn't control you. Block him again, don't acknowledge his communications (unless you have already) and it might not hurt to block CL so that you're not tempted to post there again. You're gonna be tested in this, be strong!

 

Get the fuck away from that shit, you know how you'll feel afterwards. You deserve much more than a few pixels, both sexually and emotionally.
You are in control, and are responsible for your actions

 

Yes he is
I know that kind of dudes because i used to be that kind of dude.
Im not proud of that at all, and i hurt other as much as myself.
Let It go

 

No telling. Manipulative people are successful in that no one sees it coming. (Mostly likely, yes, you are being played), but People do change. (doubtful at his age).

Instead focus on what you want, and what you would do if it turns out if it turns out to be your worse case. Sometimes, doing the wrong thing just to prove it's wrong can be very sane, but it does require you to be honest, recognize when 'it's wrong', and have a clear idea what you would do at that moment. There is no shame in having wants, and allowing yourself to have them. The danger is when you think 'needs' are just 'wants'. Or getting to a spoiled place, where you always classify 'wants' as 'needs'. In any case, honesty with yourself if the first step. And if you are in a place where, your wants have become 'needs which you have no control over, and it's robbing you of your choices', then it's time to haul ass to healthier places.

 

I think your sense of bond is skewed. And you are in a position or in an environment that forces you to feel like you want to be in the positive state you were in, with this man. But you are blocking out the negatives to make this a reality again and justifiable.

 

Who wants to "try" for a relationship? You either go for it, or you don't. It's not something you try (to see how the two of you feel when sex becomes boring after a while, or what?), but a decision.

 

It sounds to me like you are craving more connection and excitement in life. And there's nothing wrong with that! Just know that he's not the only person in this big world that can provide that for you.

Accept that he is who he is right now, without any expectation that he will change in the future. If you make the decision spark things up with him, make the choice knowing exactly "where it'll lead", and that he may indeed be toying with you. I think deep down you know what is best for you. Don't trade one addiction for another!

 

Tell him you have herpes and see if he sticks around.

 

1) The only reason you should have sex is because you want to have sex
2) No one has a gun to your head.
3) The time and mental energy you waste putting this person on an undeserved pedestal you will never get back. What's missing in you that you think they can provide? A strong person, with plenty of social support, who knows themselves and their BOUNDARIES does not take back POS's.
4) It's the high drama of the thing that's hooking you, not love and healthy decisions
5) You can't let someone back into your life without being honest with themselves and yourself about the fact that they made you suffer. You have to change the terms of the interaction or they will always be in the driver's seat. Getting the seat back temporarily til he gets what he wants is setting yourself for failure and heartbreak.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/is-it-love-or-is-it-fear-drama-and-pain/ ps I'm totally hooked on this author, her books are my bibles that I revisit again and again, and thought I'm still working on me, I surrender my will to better advice because I know I'm out of control when it comes to certain people who trigger my insecurities and reflect my negative opinions of myself back to me, with little tastes of approval just to keep the hook in.

6) You are better than someone's toy they can put on a shelf and know you'll always be there to play with again. You're a person with needs that aren't unreasonable. You deserve love care trust and respect and should settle for nothing less!

 

Just turn your phone off and go to a movie or something. Just remove yourself from that situation so you don't give in. You can do this, focus on the person that you want to be. Stay strong!

 

He's using you dude. He obviously knows how to manipulate you. Going back to him will leave you worse off.

 

I've read through posts like those, in a mixture of trigger seeking and loneliness, and wondered the same thing. The people who read them are usually emotional predators, looking for vulnerable people to manipulate and take advantage of. That this guy saw your vague post, knew it was about him, and then sought you out shows that he saw you while he was "hunting." He probably has other girls who he is talking to right now, manipulating them and creating a dependency. The emotional bond you have with him is one sided. He holds the chain, and most likely has at least several other girls on chains of their own

I know this is exactly the advice you asked us not to give, but really, the best way is simply to block him and stop responding. If you try to say goodbye, or anything else that would leave closure, you motivate him to try to keep you from escaping. Delete this asshole's number, email address, and any other way you have of contacting him. If you can, delete the email account that he contacted you through. If that's not enough, then get your service provider to change your number.

This guy is dangerous. You don't need him. You may even want to drop an anonymous tip to your local police, so that they know he is targeting underage girls.

I've known guys similar to this one, and it is all just one big sadistic game to them. Get out before he pulls you under again. Even if you're a really crappy human being, [and I don't think you are,] you are worth better than he can offer you.

 

Not to harp on this issue, but I just saw this video and it made me think of your problem here. It's about a girl, younger than you, who was involved in a similar situation. http://tosavealife.com/relationships/kayleighs-love-story/
It's only 5 minutes long, and while it isn't graphic, it may be disturbing.

 

How are you doing? Were you able to resist temptation? No judgment here, I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing and feeling. Stay strong!

 

What is CL?

Note to members:
The first time an abbreviation is used, please write it in full (with the equivalent capital letters in parenthesis). Thank you.