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Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support' started by Frühlingstimme, Nov 4, 2016.
Wow. Once again, this is why I stayed away from NoFap for a while. To many sensitive people here.
He was a 19th/20th century Irish playwright, novelist, essayist, and poet.
Thanks. Goddammit. I thought @Fake Till You Become was talking about the hotdogs brand at first. Fuck, I'm stupid.
sure, but the posts are deleted, remember? As you can see I'm not the only one having this issue.
I'm trying to quit PMO, and so are many guys. But you all know there is a lot of crybabies here who post unrelated stuff because they want attention.
Sometimes the best advice is a simple "man up" and a slap in the face. Your overly moderation is a problem to this. And I'm sure you guys have a list of deleted posts without I giving examples.
I started this thread about over moderation and the conversation ended in Oscar Wilde that is crazy my fellows. Can we stay on topic?
If you disagree, then no problem. At least I spoke up my mind.
First of, if you feel that these 'crybabies' post unrelated stuff for attention, the best course is to ignore them...and if you feel to give advice telling them to "man up", you can always do that in a constructive manner.
And the advises that we give to other people quite unconsciously throws light into what kind of a person you are and what values you uphold.. Surely we do not want to treat other persons in manner we do not like to be treated.
I feel the moderators here are doing a great job! Just speaking my mind!
I've single handedly improved the moderators actions by being a problem user always...well causing stirs and then challenging all action against me and requesting full investigatory proceedings.
So everyone bow to me for making the mods god mods.
Obviously I'm slightly exaggerating.
Don't hate pleeeeease...
u fucking loser
In relation to the forum being over moderated, I don't think so. Even if you had four mods on here at one time there is still an awful lot of posts that won't get read simply because there are posts being made every minute, possibly even more.
I can't speak for the other mods but I do it because I want to help others in their quest to stop watching porn and move on in their lives. I look forward to reading more success stories and how differently a person is feeling.
One thing I do know for sure is that anxiety can be a prime factor for holding someone back from reaching their goal. If someone gets anxious and act out that can be a catalyst to start up again. This forum is littered with examples of this, so if someone is feeling vulnerable and wants to express how vulnerable they are feeling, the response they receive should come from a compassionate place with an empathic response even if you feel that you want to challenge their view. Being hard on another person should only come in a form of tough love and tough love can be given in a compassionate manner. I have given out some tough love in the past on here but I have always finished it off with a compassionate tone.
The last thing ANY user should do is drive another user back into watching porn. I know that they may not be aware that they are doing this but that is where some consideration should come in. Consider what you are saying before you post your thoughts. Think about the implications of any negative feelings you want to express to another user and the effect it may have later on the user. We all came here for help did we not? If you go somewhere that offers help and support of any kind is it to much to ask that we get at least that?
We are all different individuals on here who experience life in our own unique way and some may see themselves more able to deal with life situations better than others. We will not always agree with what someone says and we may wish to debate what has been said and that's ok. All I am as a mod asking is that we try and treat each other with respect and not get into a name calling situation. If you feel that you want to shout out and demean another user take a breath and look into yourself and see whats going on for you, because only you can make you angry, not someone else - it comes from you.
All I am asking is to show a little respect to each other because you never really know what is going on with another person when you express something to them in an aggressive tone. They may after all be in a very dark place, much darker that you have ever known - we just don't know.
I fully agree with @Gautama's view. Even, I have had some issues of over moderation in the past. At times, when our posts are deleted, it feels frustrating. And, it is very natural to feel that way, especially when our emotions are involved in it. But, we can very well observe that the moderators are really doing a great job, keeping this place clean, to the point. Discussions can go completely haywire if there is no law enforcement. Moderators are doing that job. This site has stuck to the core issue of helping people recover from addiction, and in my opinion, moderators have played a big role in it. Ya, sometimes injustices can happen. But, we can neglect the exceptions and forgive them. After all, to err is human.
A little part of me dies when a post of mine gets deleted......
I'm lying of course.
I would like to add to @badassreturns 's posts that we are always willing to review our decisions. If you have a question as to why a particular moderation action was taken, you are always welcome to contact a moderator for an explanation. In fact, I encourage you to do so.
As for moderation of "tough" love posts, I can't add much to what @Gautama said. But I will say that there is a difference between "Hey man, you need to get your life in order, opportunities are passing you by" and "What the *bleep* you *bleeping* *bleep*, man up, stop crying, and *bleeping* fix your life already!" The last one is obviously not appropriate. If you are going to use the tough love approach, you can do it without cussing them out or making them feel like the scum of the earth. Be mindful of your words and what effects they may have on the other user.
I do this all the time...I must be a pain in the butt-ocks lol.
Why are you copying what I said.
Again? Am I your idle?
Wow just read the rest of the thread.
@Iscarpia87 you literally posted a thread looking for advice. I tried to help you by telling you real world advice that has worked for me in the real world.
So you didn't like my advice. Fair enough, but you said it in such a rude way. You should've just not responded at all. Instead you insulted me and my time.
That won't get you friends and certainly not women.
@IGY I give up responding to you because all you have to say to me is "I hate guns" or "everything cantkeepmeaway says is just wrong, sexist, and dumb"
@Deadlihood .... Quoting everything I say now?
My man TRUMP just won, so I'm in a good mood.
But seriously, lay off the modding, lay off the victimization, lay off the sympathy threads, they're getting annoying.
Oh I forgot, NO OFFENSE!!!
You have to say "NO OFFENSE" or else people will be offended and report you to the mods and you'll get banned!!!
@Cantkeepmeaway Wow, just wow. I may be a virgin, but I haven't lived under a rock for my 29yrs. You do you and I'll do me. I want no part of what you're about. Thanks for, uh, the "advice" though. "Kid"?
@Cantkeepmeaway I'm not a virgin for lack of opportunities for sex, but by choice. Good for you, go get your dick wet and kiss unspuspecting girls if that works for you. I'm looking for something that isn't superficial and a relationship that has a power balance. Just because I've never had sex, doesn't mean I'm socially inept. The fact that's someone's done it does not making them smarter or better than someone who hasn't. You call me "kid" yet I'm 8yrs older than you. You gave me that advice unsolicited like you're the biggest player and God's gift to women. Go ahead and live in your delusions and I'll live in mine, cause that's all anyone has.
freaking kidding me. yeah that's real mature and so NOT insulting
Most of this thread has very little to do with the OP and is spinning further away from the original purpose set out for it.
Well, @Frühlingstimme, it is here we reach an interesting crossroad. Do I delete the off-topic posts above and ensure your complaint stays on track, or, do I adhere to the spirit proposed in this thread and stay in the background so I don't over-moderate?
Do you see the contradiction? On one hand, you want less moderation. On the other, you don't want your own thread going off topic.
I hope you can see through this question why we as a moderator team will delete posts that we deem as necessary for the purpose of the forum remaining enjoyable for most users. I cannot guarantee we will always make everyone happy, but I can guarantee you that if we step back and let the reigns loose there will be all kinds of nonsense that will happen.
Your concern aside, this thread has gotten out of hand. Any further deviation from a civil discussion about the opening topic (over-moderation, posts deleted by moderators) and I will delete posts without warning or notice for being off-topic. As it is, I need to discuss the prior content with the rest of the moderation team.
I have absolutely no problem with keeping insulting posts up that are directed at me and never asked for anything to be deleted or shut down. Just don't blow up my inbox, that's annoying. Or threaten me with violence, cause that definitely happened. No offense.
We're all entitled to our opinions and can say what we please, but that doesn't make one immune from criticism for what they said.
While debate is ok users are not allowed to say anything that sits outside forum rules See bellow.
As I stated in my previous post we all have a common goal here and this forum is to help and support you getting there, it is not a battleground. As previously stated if things start to get out of hand I too will not give a second thought to warning someone who violates the forum
So be careful people and choose your words wisely. Either that or run the risk of being punished accordingly.