There is a problem with NoFap

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mavricko, Jul 25, 2018.

  1. Mavricko

    Mavricko Fapstronaut

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    The problem with NoFap is it is judgemental about people and their preferences. Some people are more sexual than others.

    Society has taught us sexualisation and it's in the media a lot. However, NoFap is an extreme in the other direction. In my opinion none of you are ever going to be happy unless you listen to your own body and go with the flow. Personally I have tried NoFap and achieved over 50 days. I was not happy. I was having to ignore my nature urges, and instinct. Being overly judgmental of others and yourself is a bad thing. Personally I disagree with NoFap entirely due to personal experience. If you want to disagree be my guest, that's your opinion. But for me it's trying to change us from something we are to try to please others and to please an ideology with is NoFap.

    I hope this makes sense to some. Peace.
     
    The Big Ounce likes this.
  2. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

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    I would be pretty cautious about painting this entire community with such a broad brush, if accuracy is a concern at all. It's not about ignoring urges (though it may be for some people on here can be a little.. extreme) but instead generally about learning to control those urges and use them productively and naturally. A lot of people come here to improve their life and do successfully, that's not an opinon it's a fact.

    Of course you are allowed to disagree (that's just totally your opinon, man), thought I'm not sure I see the point in doing it on a nofap board haha.

    Sorry you didn't have the success you wanted from nofap. All the best bro.
     
  3. Catondo\

    Catondo\ Fapstronaut

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    Can you please elaborate better why did you feel worse after 50 days of not M?
    Where/are you addicted to porn too?

    Disclaimer
    I'm not tryng to convince you, only to understand your story
     
  4. THIS-IS-IT

    THIS-IS-IT Fapstronaut

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    I would think urges to be with a partner, have normal sex and enjoy your sexuality...yes all natural. But porn addiction is not, unhealthy sexual urges, chronic, addictive, compulsive masturbation is not.

    I not trying to sound rude, but what is it you are seeking her if you disagree with nofap entirely? Nofap is a recovery program, if an addict is still using through his revoery, then he is still on the road to rovery. I understand going with the flow and going about this your own way but I hink we all have the same goals in mind in the end.
     
  5. I agree that we should listen to our bodies and go with the flow. But with PMO addiction, it's not our bodies that we are listening to. We are prisoners to an addictive mindset that leads to repetitive behavior that is time wasting, and harmful to our well being.
     
    THIS-IS-IT likes this.
  6. Mavricko

    Mavricko Fapstronaut

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    I had no porn addiction. I agree that’s bad.

    In terms of the rest , I think a go with the flow attitude is best. To the poster asking why I felt worse after 50. Because I wasn’t allowing my natural desires and urges to occur, it meant I wasn’t having fun.

    You can say all you want about being this and that, but trying to modify yourself to the norm of society (or any aspect of society) is bad in my opinion. It is just essential to be a good person and do that the best you can and to be honest. I think those addicted to porn are simply overwhelmed by their “over-sexualised” perception of society (highly debateable, I don’t think it is over-sexualised personally, if you look at it from a free spirit perspective it’s fine) and don’t know how to handle it. I was never addicted to porn. But I love the female body and that’s just how I am. I don’t think it’s a bad think, it’s natural.

    I think to punish yourself for how you naturally feel is bad. I do agree porn isn’t good, but on occasion it can be good and relieve stress. Anyway, that’s all irrelevant. The site has its purpose in the sense of porn addiction and it’s good for those people. I think for the others we need to keep open minded about things and give ourselves a fair chance to have fun. Peace
     
  7. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    My “body” wanted sex, PMO kept my body from functioning properly. Had PIED. Started my reboot. 88 days later, I have my penis working fine again. Made me so much happier.

    I still go with the urges and I still follow my instincts, but now directed to my gf, not a screen. It was absolutely amazing for me.

    I agree with your opinion that some people take it waaay too far with stuff like semen retention and not ever orgasming again... But hey, that’s just my opinion as well. If it makes them happy, whatever!

    Being 100% realistic, I didn’t want to please anyone else other than me. Not even my gf. I wanted to please me. To feel confident in bed, and to have an amazing time having sex.

    I get that’s your opinion, but it’s kinda broad...


    Anyways, thank you for sharing. It’s always good to see other point of views.
     
    THIS-IS-IT likes this.
  8. THIS-IS-IT

    THIS-IS-IT Fapstronaut

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    How long were you using PMO before your reboot? Did you go hard mode for 88 days?
     
    Changeisgud likes this.
  9. Octoling

    Octoling Fapstronaut

    I do find it incredibly annoying when someone posts their goals or their successes, and they get a few replies about how they're doing it wrong or their goals are wrong and their successes don't count. NoFap should be about setting your own goals and improving yourself, and not everyone is going to benefit from hard mode. Just try to ignore those comments.
     
  10. THIS-IS-IT

    THIS-IS-IT Fapstronaut

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    Yup, it's going g to be a different journey for everyone.
     
  11. Roady

    Roady Fapstronaut

    I do not see why "nofap" is judgemental about people and their preferences.
    "Nofap" is a community for fellow sufferers who wants a better life.

    Yes, everybody is following his/hers own path. If you feel oke with masturbating every week, then do this.

    Yes we shouldn't suppress our feelings or needs. Instead we should learn to listen to our signals.
    But, listen to our conscience too.

    I think if we should listen to our needs or urges and act accordingly, I guess a lot of people will stay in bed all day, fapping and gaming and eating all day long.

    But there is another voice inside of us that says that we better get up, get a job, earn money, maintain relationships etc.

    The question is: To what voice do I listen to?
     
    Tiger uppercut! likes this.
  12. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    I agree with you,

    Nofap used to be about porn adiction and recovering from unhealthy porn behavior.


    a lot of people suggest to not masturbate the first 90 days because it can cause relapse because of the chaser effect(look it up) it’s the effect when you ejaculate you have the desire to do it once more and often.

    I agree to recover from porn or sex adiction avoid : masturbation , escorts, casual sex.. Paying for escorts, having lots of sex withouth a partner can cause you to relapse to porn or can be a result of porn.

    However I noticed a lot of people at nofap seem to put their own morals ideas at nofap: not having sex before marriage, or only having sex in a relationship , never use prostitution or escorts.

    This was used to be about porn addiction now it has more become a forum about becoming incel until you meet a girl you love and have sex with. Other sex is prohibited.

    In my opinon nofap shoul be about one thing only PORN and sex addiction. Nothing else

    if you are clear of porn adictin and sex adiction. can have casual sex , or see a escort without getting audited I don’t see any problems with that.

    Just stay away from porn (addictive) and addictive behavior like wanting sex so much it becomes a addiction.

    thats my opinion on nofap.

    No offence to some people here but if you say you have casual sex you are considered evil here because sex withouth love is a relapse for some people here wich i find really wierd. Thats my problem with nofap community.
     
  13. Jason_Tesla_19

    Jason_Tesla_19 Fapstronaut

    Simply giving in and being a slave of your desires doesn't bring lasting happiness. Humans instinctively want to be lazy (to conserve energy) and simply eat and fuck all day when possible. Obesity is a disease of natural hunger getting out of control, for example. If you read the forums here, you'll see how people's lives have been destroyed by sex/PMO addiction. We're here to gain control of our bodies, not let our bodies control us. If people simply "listened to their own body", addicts would never get sober. People here are sex/PMO addicts, trying to achieve life balance. Giving in to every urge you feel will lead to self-destructive behaviors. Unlike food/water/air, sex is not necessary to stay alive as an individual, but there is still an instinct, as it's necessary for the species as a whole to stay alive. Genes don't care about your happiness, only their own propagation.

    Eat till you're sick, drink till you puke, or fuck till you can't get it up, and tell me how you feel afterwards. It takes self-control to stay in moderation, but moderation is necessary in everyday things to remain happy, and there are things that are dangerous in any amount, such as porn.
     
  14. I came here for help with firstly quitting PMO (which I found easy) then quitting MO (which I find really hard). I have nothing against masturbation, its just that it stops me O'ing with real men during real sex like I used to. I do find it a bit annoying when I'm told I should stop focussing on sex, find other joys in life etc etc. I have plenty of joy in life and I also have a high sex drive. It's just my biology, and cutting sex from my life would be denying myself an important, natural and healthy part of my being. I have no interest in cutting sex from my life whether it be casual or committed, its 2 consenting adults, it doesnt matter. We are all here to make connections and have sex at the end of the day.

    Porn however I am very against because that has nothing to do with making connections. Or sex. Its just a drug.

    The aim of this site is help with porn addiction. This is a pro-sex site. But you're always going to get some that view sex as bad, or assume that you must have the devil in you if you're highly sexed, or insinuate that you must be using sex to fill some kind of void in your life. Which can be the case of course, but often it's not. For me, my body just wants to procreate. And I'm done procreating but I'm happy to let it think it's getting what it wants :p

    Take it with a pinch of salt, use what's useful to you. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if they're wrong haha
     
    Jason_Tesla_19 likes this.
  15. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    I’m 22, started at 12. 10 years.

    Didn’t go hard mode. No PM at all, sex only with a partner. About once every 2 or 3 weeks on average!
     
  16. THIS-IS-IT

    THIS-IS-IT Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply, this is exactly where I am at with things which is why I asked. Just trying to get a feel for those that didn't go all hardmode. I'm 33 and married been using most of my adult life. 30 days so far no P&M but still hit and miss with wy wife. I can see 90 days being in sight.
     
  17. Changeisgud

    Changeisgud Fapstronaut

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    Awesome man! If you have a partner to engage in sexual activity, I strongly believe it’s the way to go.

    Not only I had the joy of O every now and then (being extra careful after it is a must though), but I’m also 100% positive it helped my brain rewire and start craving sex with a partner, not PMO. My sex life improved so much after it.

    This will be a game changer for your sex life! I feel excited for you my man.

    Best of luck!
     
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