The worry is porn will ALWAYS be appealing?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, May 5, 2019.

  1. Astro77

    Astro77 Fapstronaut

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    Would it be possible to get a friend who you feel compfort able to change the password so you wouldn’t be able to watch porn at all ?
    Or work on real life relationships so you feel you don’t need to watch porn when you’re horny or you know there are other things not harmful that are just as good.
    It is amazing you are a few years in, and every time you resist, although it’s hard know that you’re brain is rewiring so eventually it will understand sperm is not for porn but for sex and the urges will hopefully eventually lessen
     
  2. Porn won't real life sex will
     
  3. marioa

    marioa Fapstronaut

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    In my opinion, porn will always be appealing ONLY if you continue using it as a way of reaching orgasim. That is actually normal and applies to many things in life. For example if you want to cut back on sugar it will be appealing as long as you continue using it and at the very first days of quitting but afterwards you will get using to NOT having sugar in your food (coffee) this is actually what I did and now I love coffee without sugar and most of my family and friends cannot imagine drinking coffee/tea without sugar.

    So I think it is applies to porn too we need to rewire our brains and convince it that porn is not attractive (look I did not say good or bad) but said attractive because as long as you beleive that porn is attractive you will go back to it and use it to reach orgasm. How to change this mentality and make your brain think that porn is NOT attractive? honestly I don't know yet. I hope I know soon because it's gonna free us.
     
  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You have to watch porn and not be aroused. You have to understand it's abnormal to enjoy and masturbate to another man fc##ing the woman you like.
     
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  5. marioa

    marioa Fapstronaut

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    That's interesting. But have you tried this and succeeded? Because I think it's too difficult to watch porn or even take a look at porn and prevent yourself from getting hard!
    I mean it's also dangerous to try it specially if you have a good streak (say 30 days or more) because if you fail then you'd have to start over again with disappointment covering your life. So any suggestions/elaboration on you're point?
     
  6. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it took a while but I did it. I can now watch porn and not get hard, and certainly not get the urge to masturbate. The thought of masturbating to porn feels wrong and weird now. I just see it as it is, two people fcking. It has nothing to do with me. Now i'm quite bothered seeing other dicks near women. They turn me off.

    I don't think streak is that important, i've had 90+ streaks and i was almost as sensitive to porn as i was in day 0. So i think long streaks by themselves are pointless. The idea is not to be interested in porn, not to run away from porn because eventually you'll get tired and you get triggered anyway by random things. The point is not to get triggered anymore.

    Porn now is just boring, it's like watching people talk about random shit i don't care about. I can have it run in background or in a second monitor and not care. Not that i do this, but i'm saying it is possible, and if it's possible for me, a former hardcore PMO addict (20 years addiction, 6-7 times/week, binges of up to 8 times per day, pmo up to 8 hours in one day etc) it's possible for anyone.

    Interestingly enough, i also lost most of my ability to sexually fantasize.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
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  7. marioa

    marioa Fapstronaut

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    Wow, that's absolutely phenomenal, I totally agree with the fact that running away from porn is the absolute wrong approach to quit PMO. Yes you will fall by one thing or another no matter how long your streak is.

    Did you follow a specific procedures (plan) to convince your mind that porn is a total sh*t, and if yes could you elaborate?

    Because what I noticed is that some days I used to force myself to watch porn and do the MO and guess what? after a couple of times of forcing my self to engage in PMO, I started to lose interest and I became kinda seeing no value in porn (unlike other times when watching porn while I was horny or as urges come, as soon as I finish I just want more and more and more) you know what I mean? So I think we should take advantage of this (when you reach a point where you're just bored of porn and you feel like it's complete nonsense). Hopefully, I'm making sense here lol.


    "Interestingly enough, i also lost most of my ability to sexually fantasize." How did this happen? I mean, did it just happen because you no longer see porn as hot as it used to be?
     
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  8. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it's mostly a logic based plan but most people are not ready to accept it. I do plan on describing it in greater detail soon but essentially these are the main points.

    1. Watching other people fck while masturbating is an inherently abnormal and disturbing thing to do. It doesn't matter if it's on film or real life. If you think it's normal to watch them and masturbate on film, you should be totally fine doing it in room with them, because that's the perspective you have in movies (hopefully you find that disturbing). When you watch porn you are literally a cuckold. What actually helped me a lot is to search for movies or pictures actually showing the cuckold masturbating in room with the other two people and realize that he is actually me when i watch porn.

    2. Masturbation itself is an abnormal act, very uncommon in nature actually, and even the few animals that do it, do it extremely rarely to completion (ejaculation). You will never let go of the addiction until you accept masturbation is not normal and it's definitely NOT a necessity or need.

    3. If you think masturbation is "normal and natural", you should be totally fine sucking your own dick. Obviously this is an extremely wrong and abnormal thing to do, but the point is that it's the same idea as giving yourself a handjob, yet most people won't do it and will find it disturbing (and rightfully so). This will show you the double standards most of us have/had with masturbation but that deep down they know it's wrong.

    4. When you masturbate you also become the other person - if you're a guy and you masturbate thinking you have sex with a woman, you also have to become a woman as well, so it's very emasculating.

    5. There's no such thing as "once an addict, always an addict". It is certainly EXTREMELY difficult do stop being an addict (it took me many years to stop even if i am a psychologist myself so i had more insight on my behavior than a normal person), but it's definitely possible. But like I said, it's not easy at all, it's by far the hardest thing I ever did.

    6. Having a good "streak" or multiple good streaks doesn't mean you got over the addiction.

    7. Sexual fantasizing is also porn and abnormal and needs to stop.

    8. As long as you believe that "porn/masturbation/sex fantasizing are healthy if done in moderation", you will never be cured.

    9. Stop referring to "masturbation" as "masturbation", call it "pretend sex".

    It's not just porn, it's just sexual fantasizing - i lost most of my ability to sexually arouse myself on demand - it now takes a spectacular amount of effort to be able to initiate and then maintain a sexual fantasy (since i don't touch myself).

    Oh, and i also stopped having wet dreams. (which are abnormal too, especially for adults)
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2019
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